Dear California Driver
Dear form letter!
Drivers with crashes and traffic convictions on their records are at greater risk at causing future crashes. Your recent record of bad driving (see below) places you at increased risk of causing crashes, injury and death. We do not want you to suffer those consequences and we want you to avoid them.
Okay. First of all, it was hardly a crash so much as it was a fender bender, but we all know the story on that one (and yes, my insurance company was faulted. Hooray!) Second of all, it was a speeding ticket that I got seven months prior to that little mash. Before that, I had maybe one other ticket in my entire California driving career. That’s it. And now I’m on the list of Drivers With the Potential to Cause Vehicular Manslaughter?
[. . .]
While you may be a good and safe driver most of the time, your record reflects at least momentary lapses in driving judgment.
No shit. That’s why they’re called “accidents” and “I’m sorry, officer, I didn’t know how fast I was going.” What can I say? This year was a bad year that I don’t intend to repeat.
At highway speeds, a moment of carelessness might become a tragedy. Good, caring people who make careless decisions while driving can cause injury or death.
I know, mom.
In our effort to urge you to drive safer, we are offering you a choice. You can choose to prevent further action from the DMV by avoiding additional traffic convictions and by not causing any crashes.
Oh my god… it’s genius! I never thought of that before! Thank you, DMV, for pointing out the obvious! If you hadn’t have said that, I’d be driving over medians and plowing into school kids right now!
It's kind of pretty awesome that Californians can now enjoy the irritation and idiocy of the DMV, right from the comfort of our own mailboxes. It's twice as kind of pretty awesome that Carly can make me laugh this hard.