oh bother.

At John Scalzi's Whatever, I just read

As part of a barrel-full of Winnie the Pooh anniversary events, Disney is working on a new animated series that will replace Christopher Robin with a 6-year-old girl.

"We got raised eyebrows even in-house at first, but the feeling was these timeless characters really needed a breath of fresh air that only the introduction of someone new could provide," says Nancy Kanter of the Disney Channel.

"Christopher Robin is still out there in the woods, playing," she says.

Uh, no. You stupid corporate jerk. Timeless characters do not need "a breath of fresh air" BECAUSE THEY ARE TIMELESS! What the fuck is wrong with you people?

Look. I'm a huge Disney nerd. I practically grew up at Disneyland, and I've done two great movies for Disney that I'm very proud of. I know Disney is a big evil empire, but I still like my Disney stuff . . . but this is fucking ridiculous. This has nothing to do with "breathing new life" into anything; it's entirely about squeezing a few more pennies out of a successful franchise, and exploiting the anniversary of a cherished work of literature.

I have an idea: if Disney is so serious about breathing fresh life into classic characters, why not let Mickey Mouse enter the Public Domain? Okay, how about Goofy? Donald Duck? Admit it: those characters are getting a little stale, and could really use a breath of fresh air that only derivative works can provide.

Comments

[Jeopardyjen]

I'm with you, Wil, this is just ridiculous! A.A. Milne is probably turning over in his grave. I'm all for equality of the sexes, but this is just stupid.

[Steph]

I am in shock. What a stupid idea. This will not go over well at all...it's completely laughable.

The stories are not the same without 'the boy and his bear'.

Cripes.

[Gabe]

I smell a domain registration and a grassroots campaign to save christopher robin

[Steph]

I couldn't even follow the link to the article you provided because I knew it would make me too irate if I read it.

I can only hope that they will hear enough negative fedback that maybe they won't go through with it, the woozles.

[Nyarl]

Where have we seen this kind of corporate idiocy before?

Oh, yah - Star Trek...

;>

[Amber J]

I'm betting Alan Milne is rolling in his grave right now... geebus. And the fact that Christopher Robin was his son? All I have to say Disney, is "brilliant."

[VineyardDawg]

Replacing Christopher Robin??

To borrow your Mickey Mouse analogy, Wil, that's like replacing Pluto with a cat.

...

Pardon me while I go throw up.

[KaliAmanda]

Disney has had a little war going with the Milne estate for quite a while. I have a feeling this has less to do with "freshness" as it does with adding elements that they can copyright and squeeze more money out of the property without sharing with the Estate -- because now it becomes "proprietary."

[zadig]

So they went off together. But wherever they go, and whatever happens to them on the way, in that enchanted place on the top of the Forest, a little boy and his Bear will always be playing.

[Katrina]

first bugs bunny & the like, now pooh? gah. is nothing of our childhoods sacred?

[Mark J Musante]

Disney have a long history of creating a female counterpart. Mickey's got his Minnie, Donald's got his Daisy, Goofy's got his... wait, what's goofy again?

[beau99]

The real Christopher Robin is rolling in his grave right now.

[favor_the_bold]

Not only bugs & pooh, but also Hostess Fruit Pies! The little magician dude is gone; replaced w/ nothing b but really boring packaging.

[bgauch]

You think that's bad, checkout this link:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0383010/

Its a sad sad world...

[HackMan Coltaire]

Sadly this opens up the avenues for whole lines of slash fiction. Do you hear that sound? It's the sound of pedophiles having their way with my childhood. Find a happy place!

[Scix]

I saw this travesty and thought to myself, "that's wrong. But why is it wrong?"

Self answered: The 100-acre wood is the place where Christopher Robin's imaginary toy-based friends come to life. A different child would have different toy-pal/imagined friends.

The 100-Acre wood is exactly like Silent Hill!

Disney fails to understand: If the girl needs pals in the 100-acre wood, she has to bloody invent her own!

*sigh*

[Tom Boucher]

Hopefully this will meet the same fate as the 'reimagined' bugs bunny characters.

How about we reimagine the stories? Not the originals mind you, but the 10 years worth of crap they've called Winnie the Pooh on TV. I remember the 'grand adventure' that came out in '96 or so. My wife was a huge Winnie the Pooh fan and we ran out and bought it.

Before the show was over it was so depressing we wanted to commit suicide. They could have gone so much better directions with Christopher Robin going to school for the first time, but instead they dwelled on them being 'alone' and 'forgotten' and how each of them went off on their own before realizing he came home.

Just sad

[napoleondynamitefan]

WHAT?! No more Christopher Robin?! Grrrrrr . . . . I too am a huge Disney fan. I always have been. I especially loved Winnie the Pooh. Anyway, I am mad that Christopher Robin is, for lack of a better word, gone. Amber J earlier established that A.A. Milne's son's name is Christopher Robin. Among the many reasons why we don't want Christopher to be replaced, that is probably the biggest one, imo. Plus, Christopher Robin is Pooh's best friend. Geez.

[Eagle]

Disney desecrating its past again, filmed at 11 :-(

I wish they would just leave good enough alone. I’m all for keeping kids interested in the story, but surely the difference between a having Christopher be a boy or a girl wouldn’t ensure more viewers, likely just the opposite. Bah humbug.

[Snow In Summer]

I think Neil Gaiman said it best on his blog.

[ToddCommish]

Q. Why did Mickey divorce Minnie?
A. Because she was fucking Goofy!

[Schwa Love]

"Christopher Robin is still out there in the woods, playing," she says.

It's like when your parents tell you they took old Rover to live on a farm where he can play in fields all day long, but really he's making his final visit to the vet.

[J.M. Lankenau]

blasphemy.

[Sandra L.]

"A breath of fresh air..."

**wretch**

Looks like Disney wants a "Dora the Explorer" of their very own.

No way are my twins (who will be in kindergarten when this show airs) going to watch this drivel.

[Quanta]

Yeah, this is complete and utter BS. I'm guessing the angle they'll go for is that it's Christopher Robin's daughter or some such thing.

A lot has changed in the world in the last 80 years. However, think of Sesame Street. It is also timeless, and it hasn't done any of this gender-bending crap as far as I can tell. I mean, new characters have been introduced, but I don't think they've turned Grover or Cookie Monster into ladies. They've added new characters instead, and incorporated modern concepts.

Based on the screen they show, it looks like the child is going to be the center of attention rather than being the source of imagination, which was all Christopher Robin really was. I mean, if I remember the original correctly, he doesn't even show up in his own imaginings until near the end, though my memory is slightly sketchy on that. I do, however, remember that his role largely remained as that of puppetmaster rather than active participant in the events that unfolded.

I'll tell you this though; if this turns out to be a "Dora the Explorer by Disney", I'm going to laugh my ass off when it fails and Dora stays number one.