buy the sky and sell the sky

There's this one corner of my office that's been completely taken over by various bits of flotsam. It's the place where things that really need to be dealt with get shoved aside, partially out of sight, but never entirely out of mind.

I've been putting off cleaning it up, but just before we left for the PCA, I had this overwhelming and undeniable desire to clean out all the bullshit that is scattered around my house, which has been allowed to pile up and overwhelm me over the last year or so.

This is a powerful metaphor for what's going on in my life right now.

I am so fucking sick and tired of all this bullshit that's piled up everywhere that makes me feel like I'm not even in control of my own life, and I'm so sick of making excuses for allowing it to be there, I just attacked it this afternoon. Literally. I grabbed handfuls of books off shelves and piled them on the floor to be sorted. I pulled out drawers from a desk, dumped them next to the books, got the shredder out, and went through almost eighteen months worth of junk and paperwork that should have been filed away or destroyed long ago. It's been a long, occasionally frustrating, but mostly rewarding day, as I get this shit under control. The end is starting to come into view, and now that I feel like this shit isn't controlling me, I can enjoy some of the cool things I've come across, like a stack of old Star Trek trading cards, my script from CSI, some press kits from Stand By Me, and a bunch of really cool Aqualad figures I'd forgotten I had. I found things that made me angry, like correspondence I sent to O'Reilly (unsuccessfully) begging them to stop mispromoting Just A Geek, and things that made me incredibly happy, like a first-edition of Dancing Barefoot, complete with typo(e)s, and the original hand-drawn layout for WWdN from a thousand years ago. I also found some things that made me really sad, like one of Sketch's chewed up rainbow balls. I also found some things that must have seemed very important at the time I collected them, like an envelope with the word "It's Curvy!" written in my this is hilarious! script, and a seven of diamonds with the pips connected like dots. I also found a bunch of poker chips I thought I'd lost, and well over one hundred polyhedral dice. There are CDs, DVDs, pictures, business cards, notes, and lots and lots of games.Most of this stuff is going into boxes and out to the garage, but a lot of it will get thrown into the trash with extreme prejudice. It's empowering to decide what's important enough to keep around, what's worth dealing with, and what's just better off going straight into the fucking trash where it belongs.

For the longest time, the only semi-calm area in my office was about a four foot neutral zone surrounding my computer, but I've nearly reclaimed the entire area in the name of Wil, and it feels awesome. Tomorrow, I will continue to expand my empire out into the rest of my house, and by extension, my life. I'm not sure if I'll be successful, but I'm going to do my very best.

Which is a powerful metaphor for what's going on in my life right now.

Comments

[Shane Nickerson]

Amen, brother.

[shauna]

Sounds very similar to my day. Spent it cleaning my son's room. Feels great to see that I actually accomplished something. I think I know what the topic of my next blog entry will be.... So, go Wil! Good luck to you.

Shauna

[Wil]

Man, I've just realized what a timecapsule/snapshot/psychological study of my life this corner is. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Your blog is kicking all kinds of ass, Shane.

[SandieK]

whoo! top three in comments!

That sounds like what I need to do to my area. Ive been putting it off because I dont want any help, and everytime I go near it someone offers to assist me with said task. Wont take no for an answer either. More Power to The Wil!

hmm, that sounded odd

[Jenn]

Just wanted to say that I love your blog. I never miss an entry. Love your style of writing and how you're willing to share so much with us. Thank you! Hope to meet you someday.....in a non-stalker way of course. LOL

[Drunketh]

One mans trash is another's treasure. Instead of dumping this stuff....auction it for charity or a dinner for you and your gal pal. You have enough fans that would be willing to purchase "official Wil Gear".

[altjira]

One hundred polyhedral dice? 0h man, you are a geek! D&D rules!

But seriously, congrats. Many people think that our bodies age because of build up of contaminants in our cells. I posit that our minds and lives are aged and infirmed by a build up of stuff. I envy your clean up.

[Elayne Riggs]

Good for you, Wil! I'm kind of going through the same thing at the moment. I had a bit of a heart scare last month, so since then my motto has become "Simplify, simplify, simplify." Lots of flotsam and jetsam out of my life now, as I try to reorganize what I still wish to retain. Today was rainy and dreary outside and I didn't have much energy so I decided to reorganize a few drawers here and there, which I knew wouldn't exhaust me too much. Every little helps! Don't try to do it all at once, it's easier as a series of small tasks than as one panicked "oh my god I need to do all this NOW" big one which will leave you exhausted.

[Liz]

I did the same thing last month ... or I started to do the same thing. I'm such a packrat, there is still more junque to go through! I did find it quite liberating.

[theObserver]

You know, normally when I have important work to do on the puter, my first task is to clean up the room - I find it puts my mind in a good proactive state. Likewise, when I feel a big change or a move coming up, I will often start cleaning clutter from my room and house. I usually end up feeling tired - tired but focased and ready.

[starshine_diva]

I think there comes a time where everyone needs to purge... and the easiest way to do that is get rid of all the crap that's lying around and makes you (me) unhappy when I take my eyes off the screen.

Granted, it's a hard, long, process, but hey! If you (I?) can clean up my desk, then I can totally set my life straight... if only my fate rested solely upon my shoulders...

ahh... The beauty of working for oneself... Too bad I can't afford it ;)

And I totally agree with Drunketh's post. AUCTION!!! :D

Those press kits are right up my alley! Although the best celebrity auctions are those that support a cause.

Oh, and Wil... CONGRATS! Let's hope tomorrow is as fulfilling as was today!

[Bethany]

Sounds like we both people that live in that weird other-universe where the house reflects the inner-self.

If my space (house, room, computer, cubicle, brain) is cluttered to all hell--well then so is my brain.

So, here's to clearing the clutter. :-)

[gamerscircle]

I know what you mean, I just spent the better half of 3 days just going through my DVD collection.

http://andy.gamerscircle.net/2006/01/13/a-movie-audit/

Find some dupes and then putting them up on eBay. Needless to say, none of them have Will in them.

http://andy.gamerscircle.net/2006/01/14/movies-up-for-sales-starting-at-99-cents/

[Chuck]

Wil, I need to do what you're doing myself, to my whole apartment. Thanks for the inspiration! I'll make a start tomorrow, anyhow.

[VeronicaRobinson]

If you could have a heart to heart with my husband, it would greatly increase my happiness. He is a pack-rat the the extreme. I just recently got him to throw away the driver's side mirror and touch up paint from his first car. The mere fact that he kept these items after selling the car is bad enough, but that fact that he sold that car ten years ago is even worse!

[judytroh]

Good choice, Will! Our living spaces are usually a reflection of what is in our minds (kind of frightening, really!). Getting control of one helps get control of the other. I don't know about you, but cleaning up is usually good "think" time for me and I can sometimes solve problems that have been bothering me for awhile. I'm glad it feels good for you!

[potolo]

I see others have already made this suggestion but I'll 3rd/4th it! You could sell some of the items you plan to discard on eBay/some auction; and, give the proceeds or a percentage of them to charity.

On the underlying topic of the post, I hear that. I need to clean house too. :)

[Sinspired]

Don't get rid of the dice, man! Don't pack them away! You'll never find them!
That would be a horrid travesty... :(

[David L]

Just had a clear-out myself. Old cd's, tapes, videos. Got rid of all my pre-recorded ST:TNG - except the episodes The Game, First Duty, Final Mission, Journey's End and the Inner Light. In view of the episodes I have kept, I was reminded to have a look at WW's site to see how he was getting on. So, looks like we were clearing the decks at the same time. Nice to have some breathing space, isn't it?

[dansroka]

This time of year begs for this sort of mental cleaning. When the temperature drops 30 degrees in one day, and the trees are tossed about by the snow-filled wind, there's a stong need to have *some* sort of control.

I just wrestled with my studio, putting it in some sort of order. My worktables had been covered with the flotsam of my work -- cameras, lenses, filters, batteries, cases, clamps, props, etc. All these tools laying about, just in case I needed to grab them when "inspiration struck". Problem is, with such clutter, inspiration had no idea where to hit!

[hermeneuticland]

As already commented, it 'tis the season for the cleaning and restoration of life. Even as the earth hibernates to prepare for spring and works quite literally from the ground up to prepare a beautiful change, so we also get the opportunity to do the same. I, too, must confess that I went through the same process about three weeks ago and felt the ultimate similarity of reflection between the practice of cleaning the externals and setting right the internals of my small, yet wondrous existence. Good wishes on getting all you wish to clean up sorted out, both in your home and in your life.

[Lex]

That so makes me want to clean out my closet and underneath my bed. Who knows what I'll find but I'm sure it will be interesting.

[Kirimaku]

Y' gotta love synchronicity. Here I am at a friends house while my house is being rewired - watching one Wil Wheaton in a film called "Book of Days", they had taped!Taped by the way, because this 60 year old couple loved Wil Wheaton from all the way back in the NG days.

Interesting as well, is that this character is wrestling with what he does and doesnt have control over, the relationships in his life and his connection with his spirit(uality) - (and the consequences therein).

Anyway, I have found complete truth in the old addage that when you change something outside, there are changes inside and visa versa. Only thing is, if one does not have a clear picture of where when is going emotionally mentally, spiritaully (as well as physically). One can get a bit battered, by the waves of chaos before one moves out to become the wave rider or stand in the eye of the storm.

Our house now after 30 years stands completely empty brand new wiring, plumbing, and paint. Even the gas stove pipes are new after it caught fire when the painters were moving it!

Nothing is coming back from storage unless it has a home to go to, so it is going to be very interesting for us to see what 2006 has to bring.

[Nadia]

Good luck, mate. :)

[Nadia]

Good luck, mate. :)