gravity always wins

Anne plays a lot of Scrabble, and she's really good. It's not uncommon for her to score between 270-350 in a two player game, and she hasn't even mastered the art of sneaking fake words past a challenge, memorizing word lists, or counting how many of a certain letter are left in the bag to work out some complex probability game theory thing.

A few weeks ago, she called me from her friend's house. I picked up the phone while I poked some coals around the fireplace.

"Hello?" I said.

"Wil! I got venereal!" She shouted.

"WHAT?!" I dropped the fireplace poker onto the hearth.

"Venereal! I got venereal as my first word, and scored --"

"Anne, you can't just call me up without warning and tell me that you've 'got venereal.'"

She cracked up. "Oh, sorry about that."

"It's okay," I said. "If you don't win this game, I'll be very disappointed."[1]

"I'll do my best. I have to go. I love you."

"I love you, too. Bye."

Score: Anne - 1 Wil - 0

Today, she called me from her salon and told me about this thing she'd heard about called The Miracle Ball. I guess it's some pain management, muscle fixing hoo hah that one of her clients swears by. Anne and I are doing the marathon again this year, and I still have pretty constant pain in my right hip that nothing is curing. Massage, acupuncture, yoga, cursing, deals-with-the-devil . . . nothing is working. So Anne suggested that I try the Miracle Ball, which she could also use to help her back and neck.

Before I can run, I need to walk at least thirty minutes a day for the next three weeks or so, which means that I'm not driving myself many places right now. I put on my walking shoes, grabbed my nano, pulled on my ultracool San Andreas jacket, and walked myself over to the bookstore, where I found the Miracle Ball book in the fitness section.

After I paid, I pulled out my cell, and sent her the following text message: i have your miracle balls

I wish she was a farker, so she could send back something like, O RLY?

Alas, she is not, so the score is currently: Anne - 1 Wil - 1 There's a lot of time left in the game, though, and she still has all her time outs.

This is probably 800% funnier to me than it is to anyone reading this. Welcome to my world.

[1] She went on to win with something like 450 or 490. Insane.