the one about saturday at disneyland

One of Anne's clients, who works for Disney, hooked us up with passes to Disneyland, so we took the kids on Saturday. Holy shit - did you know that it costs over $80 for an adult ticket now? That's insane.

So we started out in California Adventure: Tower of Terror (awesome), California Screamin' (awesome, but made me sick this time) and Soarin' over California (probably my favorite ride in DCA). We then made our way across the entry plaza to Disneyland.

"Where do you guys want to go first?" Anne said.

"Space Mountain!" Ryan said.

"Yeah! Space Mountain!" Nolan said.

"Back to the tortilla factory in DCA!" I said.

Believe it or not, there were actually crickets chirping near the turnstiles. Weird.

Disneyland wasn't crowded at all, even though it was a Saturday, and we quickly made it over to Tomorrowland, where we discovered that, even at 11 in the morning, there was already a 90 minute wait for Space Mountain. We picked up Fast Passes, and decided to head over to Indiana Jones.

You know what would be so cool? If Disney redesigned Tomorrowland to look and feel very similar to the way it did in 1955. Bring back the people movers, and move the rockets back up to the top of the people mover loading platform. Get rid of that stupid Innoventions atrocity, and put Inner Space back in its place. The idea is that our world is dangerous and uncertain, and looks to stay that way for a long time, so why not give people a place where they can enjoy the safety of 1950s nostalgia, and a "future" world that's ultra modern? I bet it'd be a big success.

On the way to Indiana Jones, Ryan suggested that we go to Haunted Mansion, then Pirates, the Indiana Jones, so we could work our way back through what little crowd there was.

"The thing is," I said, "Pirates is closed for four months."

"Why?" Anne said.

"Because they have to totally screw it up, and make it tie in with the movies."

Anne gasped a little bit, as we passed the Tiki Room.

"Yeah," I said, "I read about it at blogging.la and Miceage. They're replacing the big old pirate ship with the Black Pearl, and they're putting animatronics of actors from the movie into the ride. They closed it down yesterday."

We rounded the corner into the heart of Adventureland. 

"That's sad," Anne said, "but there are a lot of people who will see the movie before they've ever been on the ride, so maybe that makes sense to Disney."

"But the ride has been fine for over thirty years," I said, "even if they made those stupid PC changes in the 90s. I don't know if the movies have that sort of trans-generational appeal."

We walked into a huge crowd of people around Indiana Jones.

"Did you just say 'trans-generational appeal?" She said.

Before I could answer, I saw something I didn't expect: a huge line of people, going into Pirates of the Caribbean!

I squealed, hopped, and pointed.

"Look! Pirates! Open! Wheee!"

I grabbed Anne's hand, and pulled her with me, as I ran like a five year-old to the line. The kids kept up, and didn't seem to be embarrassed when I did a little "ohmygodthepiratesarestillopen" dance in line.

"Oh my god," I said, "this is so cool! I am so happy that I get to ride this one last time before they change it!"

"Yeah, that's pretty awesome," Nolan said. I looked at him to make sure he wasn't being sarcastic. He was sincere.

The line moved quickly, and twenty minutes later, we were at Laffite's Landing, boarding our little boat, right behind the guy who figured his infant child would have a really good time in the dark, with the loud noises.

Yeah. After the first drop, the kid screamed and cried. When its dad tried to comfort it, he actually ended up pointing the kid over his shoulder at me and Nolan, so the kid ended up screaming in our faces. Awesome.

Anne and the kids all looked at me. I just shook my head and sighed. I did my best to tune out the crying, which stopped for a few brief moments near the bridal auction scene but really picked up again when we passed the jail scene.

When the ride was over, Nolan said to me, "Why do people bring little babies places where they are just going to cry?"

"I have no idea," I said.

"Even I know that the loud noises and sudden movements would freak a baby out," he said.

"Yeah. I guess that guy really wanted to go on Pirates."

We headed out into New Orleans Square, and turned to go to the Haunted Mansion . . . which was closed.

"Aw, crap." Ryan said. "The Haunted Mansion is closed."

"They must be taking down Nightmare Before Christmas," Anne said.

"Okay, we're going to Indiana Jones!" I said.

We did, and it was awesome. Then we went over to Frontierland so the kids could play at the shooting gallery, and then to Fantasyland to ride Mr. Toad. That line moved crazy fast, like less than ten minutes, and before we knew it, we were at the front of the line.

Nolan rode with Anne, and Ryan went with me. "Do you want to drive?" He said.

"No," I said, "you have your permit now, so let's see how you do."

He laughed and sat down into the car, named "Mac Badger."

The ride operator lowered the safety bar, and we launched out of toad hall, crashing through the library, exploding out of the fireplace, and speeding out into the countryside.

Ryan spun the wheel, while I shouted out, "Look out for the cop!" and "Left! Left! Left!" and "don't drive off the end of the dock!"

We were seriously cracking each other up, and as we burst through the exploding TNT room, I took a mental snapshot of the moment: here we are, on our way to nowhere in particular, laughing like crazy, and enjoying the simple joy that comes with being together.

That's when the ride broke down.

Suddenly, flourescent lights came on, and the magical world of Mister Toad evaporated. From somewhere else in the ride, I heard a voice cry out, "booooo!"

"What?" Ryan said.

"Please stay in your vehicle," a voice said over a loud speaker. "You will be escorted out of the ride shortly."

"Clearly, you broke the ride with your terrible driving," I said.

"I did not!"

"You did so."

I held up my hand and extended one finger. "You knocked the guy off the ladder."

I held up another finger. "You crashed through the fireplace."

Another finger. "You almost hit the bobby."

A fourth finger. "Then there was that whole thing with the bridge," a fifth finger, "and the dock."

Ryan's face broke into a huge smile as I held up my other hand.

"Then there was the warehouse, and the exploding TNT. That's seven --" I showed him my fingers, "seven brushes with death. Obviously, they had to stop the ride before you crashed the car."

"Yeah, and ended up hitting a train and going to Hell," he said.

We cracked up together, and waited until we were walked out of the ride a few minutes later, picking up Anne and Nolan on the way out.

"Did you break the ride?" Anne said.

"I think it was for my own good, mom," Ryan said.

After Mister Toad, we picked up our jackets from our locker (where I gave my locker combo ticket thingy to a guy with two little kids who couldn't find an open locker, because we didn't need it any more. I like to do things like that, because helping people is awesome, and it increases the kindness in the world by +1) and headed over to the Matterhorn.

"I'm going to sit down and have a time out," I said. "So you guys go on the ride, while I sit here and recharge."

"Okay," Anne said. It was a nice twenty minutes or so for me to just sit down and reflect on how much fun we were all having, and how great it felt to spend the day together. I spent a lot of time at Disneyland when I was in my teens, because my best friend and I had annual passes. Consequently, Disneyland is more than just the happiest place on earth to me: it's a real touchstone to some of the happiest days of my life, and it was so wonderful to sit there, recall those carefree days of my youth, and feel good about where I am now, sharing this joyful place and all its associated memories with my family.

After Anne and the kids came off the ride, we headed over to Space Mountain, which we'd been looking forward to riding all day. Anne always gets sick on it, so she sat down for a time out of her own while the kids and I walked up to the entrance, and discovered that Space Mountain was broken down.

We patiently waited for about twenty-five minutes, before the ride was back online, and the line started to move again. Thanks to our fast passes, we were inside the ride in less than five minutes.

I hadn't been on Space Mountain since they refurbished it, and it's amazing. First of all, Disney got rid of all that stupid Federal Express advertising bullshit that was everywhere, and made it more of a retro space adventure again. The track has been rebuilt, and the ride is smoother than ever. The projections are beautiful, and the starfield effects, which had really lost their luster over the years, looked as magical as I remembered them being when I was a little kid and rode Space Mountain for the first time.

We met up with Anne after the ride, and told her how much fun it was.

"Mom, you totally should have gone on it!" Nolan said. He then proceeded to describe every minute detail of the entire thing.

"Man, now I wish I'd gone on it," Anne said. "Oh well, next time."

It was about 7PM, I guess, and as we walked out across Tomorrowland, all four of us hit "the wall."

"Hey, guys?" Ryan said, "I'm kind of tired."

"I was just going to say the same thing!" Nolan said.

"Yeah, me too," I said. "My feet and legs are killing me."

"Are we done?" Anne said.

We all looked at each other. Yeah, we were done.

"I think so," I said. "I know we all wanted to see the fireworks, but I know that I'm going to be really gumpy in two hours."

"Yeah, I have maximized my funtime," Nolan said.

And just like that, we headed for the exit.

At the hub, right in front of the castle, Anne said to me, "Hey, did you want to try for the Jungle Cruise?"

The Jungle Cruise is one of my favorite rides, ever, especially when the skipper has his or her pun-o-meter spiked up at 11. I'm not ashamed to admit that. In fact, I'm proud of it.

I looked at the kids. "What do you guys think?"

"Sure, let's see what the line looks like," Ryan said.

"Yeah, if it's too long, we'll blow it off," Nolan said.

"w00t." I said.

We walked over to the Jungle Cruise, and saw that the wait was, in fact, over thirty minutes. I like the Jungle Cruise, but I don't like it that much.

"I like the Jungle Cruise," I said, "but not that much."

As quickly as we walked into Adventureland, we walked out. When we passed the Tiki Room, I said, "Hey! Let's go into the Tiki Room!"

"Yeah! The birds sing words and the flowers croon!" Nolan said.

"How did you know that?" I said.

"I don't know," he said. "I just do."

"Isn't it lame?" Ryan said.

"No, Ryan," Nolan said, "it's so cool."

"I've never been in the Tiki Room," Anne said, and that sealed it. We walked through the turnstile just as the doors opened to seat a new show.

Okay, I don't think I've been in the Tiki Room in at least fifteen years, so I'd forgotten most of it . . . but it's just awesome. We all loved the show, especially the singing tiki guys.

On our way up Main Street, Anne said, "I love it that we went into the Tiki Room, because I'd never been in it before. It was so cool to experience something new at Disneyland, after all these years."

By the time we made it back to the car, we were all exhausted. The kids were both asleep by the time we got to the freeway, even though it wasn't even 8PM. It was an incredibly fun day, and it wasn't until I wrote this all down that I realized how many of the rides broke down. It's cool to me that we had such a great time there, we didn't even notice.

There's one thing I forgot to mention: While we were standing in line for the parking lot tram, Nolan looked up at me, held one hand up in the air dramaticaly, and sang, William Fucking Shatner-style, "It's! A! World . . . oflaughter! It's! A! worldof . . . cheer! It's! A! World! Of! . . . hopeand . . . a world! ofFEAR!"

He went on to sing the entire song, complete with very emotional facial contortions and dramatic pauses. By the time the tram arrived, I was laughing so hard, my sides hurt and tears rolled down my face. It was so funny, and so unexpeected, I forget to ask him where he picked it up.

Though I suspect he may have answered, "From you, okay?! I learned it by watching you!"

Comments

[Lex]

Great post. It sounds like you had a great time with your family. I haven't been to Disneyland in such a long time. Like Lorraine I can't get that song out of my head. It sounds like Ryan and Nolan are great kids and really fun to hang out with.

[EdwoodCA]

Great reading. Thanks, Wil.

The updated Space Mtn. didn't impress me, much, though. Smoother track, but, isn't the same layout as before? [Not much room in the mtn. to alter that much, I'm sure.] The sound is MUCH better!

Most bummin' of all: no more flying Chips A'hoy cookie amongst the stars!!!

[mcsey]

Wheaton... damn you. That was good. Man that was good. You got the basis for a chapter there man.

/golf clap

[Morgan]

The Tomorrowland here in Orlando seems to still be 50s-style as you described it...except they replaced Dreamflight with Buzz Lightyear. Dreamflight was one of my favorite rides. =(

[Webby]

Glad you loved the Happiest Place on Earth. It truely is one of my favorite places to be. I may work at Walt Disney World but Disneyland is just that much better. You will need to go back for Remeber...Dreams Come True. The new fireworks are amazing. BTW, did you see the parade?

[William Parr]

Hey Wil. you should have some sort of Wil Weaton blog days at disney. That way we all could get together. I hope my point I'm trying to make comes off right. Please if this sounds gay just let me know

[jessiker]

This is a great entry. It was like Radio Free Burrito, only without the sound. I loved reading it. Thanks.

[Kenyon]

First to William Parr,

A blog days sounds totally gay. Everybody who went would have a gay old time. It's a great grand idea for a gay experience for everyone.

To Wil,

Brilliant. Taking me back to my youth and the brilliant anti-drug ads.

"From you, okay?! I learned it by watching you!"

That's prolly still my favorite. You do have to give it up for this is your brain, this is your brain on drugs though.

Also the Disneyland stuff definitely takes me back. My family was always more partial to Knotts Berry Farm, but I've definitely also had good times at Disneyland.

And Disneyland dominates Disneyworld. California is better than Florida and Disney World is just too spread out.

[marsha Amanova]

what is it that people always say the first time they do this?

uh... i'm a long time reader; first time poster.

yeah.

Anyway, I just felt compelled to actually say something today. It's the Disneyland thing. I've only been once. When I was 13. Almost exactly 18 years ago. 1988. It was spring break and I remember getting off the plane in California and being amazed that there was green grass and palm trees. Well, that's what you get from growing up in northern Alberta. We went on a family trip to L.A. and Arizona and I fell in love with Disneyland. In. Love. And I've never made it back. I thought Captian EO was cheesy and stupid, but still somehow cool in its 3-dness. And Space Mountain rocked my socks. My dad made me sick on the teacups. I had the most fun ever. And: Pirates was closed. I was absolutely devastated. Destroyed. I think I shed a tear (and I was a bit old for that). And now I'll never see it in its original glory.

But thank-you for your story. I loved the trip down memory lane that it inspired.

[RobAP]

I really liked this post. I've never been to Disney Land, but I have gone to Disney World a couple times when I was a kid and had so much fun. My favorites were Pirates and the Thunder Mountain Railroad. Some day if I ever have kids, I'd like to take them there.

[Samurai Avon Lady]

It sounds wonderful!

I've never been to Disneyland, but I did finally get to visit WDW when I was in college.

My friend (with whom I drove all the way from Cleveland to Florida in one day...) "convinced" me to get on It's a Small World, and the ride broke down! Except, they didn't (couldn't?) escort us out, and it was only the "boats" that were broken, and not the singing children... so there we sat, for 45 minutes, in the bowels of the small world.

But then, it was all made up for when we hightailed it directly to Pirates, and all was well with the world!

[thetraveler]

Sounds like a great day. Makes me wish I lived closer to the Disney here. It's only.....8 hours away. Can you feel the sarcasm?

The closing line. Oh Wil. That was the best use of that line I have ever read/heard. I can see the father standing there with the "stuff" asking the kid that question. Ohhhhhh. On what has been a rather unhappy day you have helped lift my spirits. Thank you.

[lomara]

Hey! I was at DLand on Sunday enjoying the churros too. I got myself a premium pass with my Christmas $$. Unlike you, I missed riding Pirates. It's open until March, so you've got another month to enjoy it before the animatronic Johnny Depps invade the ride we know and love.

And tell Anne that even though I've been coming to D-Land my whole life (I'm older than her), I have never been inside the Tiki room either. I think I should go back this week one day after work just for that.

[William Parr]

Sorry if it seems like I'm trying to hijack Wills awesome post. I just thought the idea would be great for people to meet that live in the area or are willing to travel. I do know Will is a very busy man. But if luck would happen to happen and he could and would attend. I would pay for the hostests family to attend the event.

We could start a WWDN convention sort of would be one of the few blogs with one.

[Kirsten]

Oh, man... four days since my last trip to Disneyland, and you make me wanna go back again! Just gotta hold out 'til Saturday... That place is like crack. Only more expensive.

No matter how many times I've seen Fantasmic, that finale can still bring me to tears. Pure Disney magic, embodied in one 22-minute show.

And as for the tortilla factory (spoken like a true local!)... "Thank you for the corn you may go now!"

[FranR]

I used Disneyland as a bribe for toilet training my son - I think babies enter this world knowing about Disneyland! Seriously, twenty years ago the ads were populated the television channels more than they do know, plus kids are exposed to Disney at almost every turn.

We used to do Disney at Christmas. Anyone that is a native of Southern California know that Disneyland, heat and smog DO NOT MIX well at all. I remember Disneyland from my own youth and just turning 55 - well, I've been to D'land a few times. Anyway, for almost 10 years straight we did Disneyland at Christmas, and generally would get a special with the park and the Disneyland Hotel in a package. Back when my son was little it was actually somewhat affordable. We'd do all the major attractions the first day, then the secondary stuff the next along with visiting the shops and little hidden spots. The fort on Frontier Island had the best fresh lemonade in the park, eating Monte Christo sandwiches at the Blue Bayou after riding Pirates. Country Bear Jamboree was always a great place to recoup a little and warm up and had pretty decent cheeseburgers at reasonable prices. I could have written a book when my son was little on where all the restrooms and good food could be had. The magic shop back in the alley, the train ride - good places to take cranky kids. Then after wearing outselves out at the park we'd come back to the Disneyland Hotel and let the kid have a go at the arcade. Breakfast of course was generally taking advantage of what they called the Character Breakfast. Packing it up we would either head home which was a northward drive of 100 or so miles, or over to Knott's.

I'm so old I remember when there used to be singing and dancing underneath the rocket ships across from Space Mountain like you used to see "Annette" doing, lol.

Tiki Room and Jungle Cruise were also the times I remember of rest. Oh, and the food is actually pretty decent in the Tiki Room if I remember right - a tad expensive, but tasty.

Ah, enough reflections, but Wil - thank you for sharing yet another memory.

[NoiseDesign]

It's great to read all of these comments and your post. I had the pleasure of being one of the designers that worked on the sound for the Space Mountain rehab. I got to spend about 2 months in the Mountain riding the rockets and programming the sound. It is in fact the exact same ride path, though the track is brand new.

[Lisana]

Sounds like you didn't get a chance to go on the Buzz Lightyear ride. It's pretty cute. :) I wish I could go on Space Mountain again, but all those health warnings apply to me, unfortunately.
Glad you all enjoyed your day at Disney, and glad you got to see Pirates. I don't think it's closing for the updates until March, so you lucked out. ;)

[R]

heh--I think you've got a few years to go before you can get away with "the carefree days of my youth" ;) But seriously, if it's got your (step)kids in it, you know I'll love it.

[Simple as Jen]

I hadn't heard about Pirates...that really sucks. Last time I was at Disneyland was the day after Christmas. I was so excited to be going on Space Mountain after not being able to for the past 5 years. But, of course, the ride was down that day. I'm trying to get out there one more time before the 50th ends so I can see the Fireworks, those are simply amazing.
Glad you had fun with Anne and the kids. Nolan doing Small World a la WFS = priceless. Oh, and "I learned it from watching you!", made me choke on my Dr. Pepper...PSAs are amazing.

[Clay]

Thank you for sharing that, Wil. Made me smile. Alot.

[oregonchick]

I was enjoying all of the references to favorite Disney rides, and like Simple as Jen, almost spit Diet Coke all over my keyboard when I came to that PSA reference. The relationship you have with those kids is always fun to read about, especially when you have something to share like Nolan's WFS impersonation.

But now you've inspired me to return to Disneyland. We used to go there every other summer vacation when I was a kid, and I still have a huge stack of Disneyland posters at my parents' house (one from each trip) as souveniers. First, though, I'm going to beat my sister at our "get an annoying song stuck in your head" game, by e-mailing the lyrics to the Tiki Room to her work e-mail. Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

So thank you for sharing your good time AND for helping me best my sister (even temporarily) in a battle of wills that has gone on for about two years now.

[Danyiel]

Sorry Alice, didn't mean to freak you out with my "insider" info about the "Small World" ride LOL. I was thinking the same thing when my niece told me about that, myself.

But one good thing did come out of it: I finally understand the episode of the Simpsons where Bart and Lisa were on the "Duff Gardens" version of the ride and Bart dared her to drink the water and she started having some kind of acid trip! I wonder if that's a possibility...

[John]

Y'know, Wil, you've lately been very "I love my family" in a way that has brought a tear to my eye (in a good way). That's fracking AWESOME!

And when speaking, how did you manage to get zero's in your w00t?

[Jenn]

Can I just say how much I love reading your blog? It's a daily ritual of mine that always makes me smile, think, laugh out loud or sometimes even cry. You have this amazing style of writing. It's hard to explain. Thank you.