i'm gonna find me two waitresses here, and i'm going to pull me a fredo

Trent: Yeah, man just kinda... you know, you got these claws and you're staring at these claws and your thinking to yourself, and with these claws you're thinking, "How am I supposed to kill this bunny, how am I supposed to kill this bunny?"
Sue: And you're poking at it, you're poking at it...
Trent: Yeah, you're not hurting it. You're just kinda gently batting the bunny around, you know what I mean? And the bunny's scared Mike, the bunny's scared of you, shivering.
        -Swingers

I should really be freaking out now that three days have passed (eight, if you count exactly on the calendar and include the weekend -- which I don't, but I didn't want any of you weekend-counters to feel left out) and I still haven't heard anything about the super teriffic Sci-Fi hosting gig that isn't on the Sci-Fi Channel.

But I'm a level 27 Bard, with a billion ranks in Sense Motive (plus Epic Skill Focus) and Regie's Ruby Ring of Really Reliable Scrying. In other words, I usually know when I've gotten or lost a gig with laser-like precision. I can feel it in my soul when a decision has been made, even if that decision is made on the other side of the world. I know that's totally ooga-booga, but it's true. I've been making sense motive checks all day long, and they're either hiding behind a wall of lead and Kryptonite, or they haven't made a decision, yet.

Oh! They just made a decision and -- oh, wait. That's just gas. My bad.

I will admit to leaping up and racing to the phone whenever it rings, and saying, "aw, nuts," when the caller ID doesn't tell me that it's my manager giving me a ring up on the dictaphone, but other than that, and the constant rolling of the d20, I haven't really been obsessing about it that much.

Anyway, I talked with Shane about it at length today, because he's been involved in programming like this from both sides of the table. I didn't tell him about the R³R²S, but we still came to the conclusion that it's still too early to panic. The most likely option right now is that a decision simply hasn't been made. Does that mean they're looking at other guys? Probably. Does that mean I should freak out? I don't think so. All I can do is give my best audition, which I did, and hope that the other things I bring to the table outweigh however good looking the other guys are. I'm also pretty sure I'll have to dodge a Kimmel on the Turn and River.

I think I'll make a call tomorrow, so I at least know if I'm buying a case of Guinness to celebrate or drown my sorrows. Hey, either way, I get to drink a ton of Guinness.

To make the continued waiting as cute as possible, please enjoy this kitten:

(Thanks, W!)

Comments

[Digital Goddess]

HAHAHAHA, well then lets hope that you don't have to wait too long, I'm assuming the longer the wait the more kittens get smited. The poor kittens. And poor you too, may the phone ring with happy news yesterday (would twere that were).

[redheadwriter]

I know it's rough and time seems to drag, but since your psychic sense is telling you no decision has been made, I'm betting you're probably right. We're all still pulling for you. Personally, I think you'd be outstanding for this gig. Now if I only had the power....

[foley]

Ten to one they read your blog, and they're just messing with you. :-)

I'm sure it'll work out.

[Nicole]

Hmm... So you're psychic now? Well, in all your hawesomeness, I wouldn't put it past you. =) And you've been in the biz long enough know when to go with your gut, I'm sure. I just hope that gut isn't grumbling too much when you douse it in Guiness... Drink one for me Wil ('cause I'm too young yet *pouts*), and don't forget to think of the kittens. I, for one, have not given up on you just yet.

P.S. Ooh...Lost is on in 20 minutes and it's new. Thank God!

[fitzwillie]

I know *exactly* how you feel! Every time *my* phone rings, I jump up, run over, pick it up, take a look, and realize no, it's not Wil's agent.

So, how does that work, then? Is your manager/agent also just waiting for a call? Then when they hear something they call you?

[CarolP]

OMG the kitten is hilarious!!

Ok, in all seriousness this kind of torture is exactly why I could never be an actor. That and the fact that I have no acting talent whatsoever.

Though I'm no big time Hollywood filmmaker I have been on the other side of the table many times. I always make a concerted effort to come to a decision as quickly as possible, then promptly notify everyone.

You'd be surprised at just how many times I hear a thank you just for making a phone call or sending an email letting actors know that they did not get the part. I guess in the oftentimes dubious world of independent film, actors often hear nothing at all. That's such a shame. Although, now that I think about it, as a screenwriter, no answer is in fact the standard rather than the exception. Hmm.

I always thank everyone who is kind enough to bring their time and talent to my audition room despite the fact that they will most certainly not be getting paid anything. I also let each of them know that if they have any questions, feel free to ask. And they have.

Many times I have been asked by actors why we did not cast them. I'm not sure telling the truth is always the best thing, but I try to do so as gingerly as possible. Mostly, it's as simple as, you did a great job and are obviously talented, but someone else nailed it. On rarer occassions I will agonize for days, watch the audition tapes a dozen times, ask other people's opinions, and end up choosing on instinct.

But, what I know for certain is that every single actor who shows range and directability in an audition is someone I will call back again and again until we find a part that's right for them.

I am sure that if, God forbid, you don't get this gig, they will call again. Having said that, I still feel like this one may pull through. My psychic instinct is telling me that some people are fighting really hard for you right now, Wil.

Thanks for keeping us posted. Good luck.

[Kara]

Liked 40k huh?

Check this out:
WARHAMMER 40,000 ROLEPLAY
http://www.blackindustries.com/default.asp?template=dh-press

[pylonian]

What I don't get is why the suspense is killing ME. Sheesh. Major luck Qi your way, Wil.

Eric in Portland, OR

[Denise]

I'm glad to see you're keeping as sane as possible. Maybe I'll type up this past weekend's drunken D&D escapades and email to you so you have something to laugh about in the meantime. And as usual a girl tried to make out with me but, my boyfriend and savior kept me from being molested by the Firefly obsessed redhead. :X

I've recently started writing my fan fiction again so I'm a little skittish as to the prospective readers.

Chin up, Wil. :) Oh and kill a Guiness for me. I am out of Killian's;Sadface;till I make it to the liquor store.

[Edsynth]

I dunno man, I've been listing, but I don't hear any fat lady singing dude. :)

[towers16]

NOOOOOO!!!! Not cliché kitty! My eyes are melting!!!!

I just consulted my magic eight ball.... It says "yes" you got the job. Let us hope the oracle of all oracles is right.

[justme]

Hey ... maybe they've already decided you're the man, and they are just trying to figure out which of the fabulous babes they want to surround you with.

Could be ... could be ...

[kaitlinf]

Am I the only one that noticed that the title is a Godfather reference? Is it also a line in Swingers (which I haven't seen in ages)?

Either way, Wil, your title refers to finding two waitresses to bang.

This is hilarious simply in its innocuousness: its obvious that you're not looking for two waitresses to bang (you gots the hot wife, after all); and also because the title and the post are not at all similar.

Hooray for blog title obscurity!

[slackferno]

Sending "give him the flippin' gig already" karma your way, Wil.

http://flickr.com/photos/slackferno/79085216/

[ignatz]

You know, after suffering through all of this waiting with you for all of these auditions over the years (well, suffering in blog form) waiting with you to hear if your agent called with any news...and then it hit me...you should become an agent. They seem to always have work, calling actors and telling them a) they loved you and b) they went in another direction. You could do that.

[oregonchick]

I followed towers16's lead and consulted my Magic 8 Ball. I shook it firmly while saying in my most serious voice, "Will Wil Wheaton get this gig?"

The answer is YES.

So don't worry; I'm sure they are just retooling the show to see if it can even better suit you. Still, for the kittens' sake, I wish you good news and SOON.

[Karl Erikson]

Good luck, dude. Hope you get it.

[R]

pretzeling for you.

[jwords]

Wow, this really reminds me of going through fertility treatment and trying to prepare yourself to be disappointed again and never publically admitting that you're not OK with that.

Hope you see two pink lines soon, Wil!

[camgaroo]

Do you think it would help if we each send an e-mail to SciFi channel demanding your face on their network?

[Jim C. Hines]

Sympathy ... I went through something very similar while waiting for a publisher to make a decision about my goblin books earlier this year. Two months of, "What could be taking them so long?" and "Ooh, I should check e-mail to see if there's any word from my agent!"

Fingers crossed for quick, happy news for ya!

[Fuzzyshine]

We use to have that kitten picture up at work. Except ours said "Everytime you masturbate, god kills a kitten" . You should have left it like that.

[Chuck]

Wil, I am keeping positive MOJO headed your way. I have had some good stuff happen recently...as have some other bloggers you have inspired...so I will keep my fingers crossed while you wait for HAWESOME news.

[Amber]

Eh, you'll get it.

They always post that in the guy hallways at the dorms before every semester.

[VeggieVixen]

Way to be dramatic, Wil! Like a kid waiting anxiously for Christmas morning, man! lol

Hope the wait isn't much longer.... (I hate waiting for news too. I feel your pain. I really do!)

WON'T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE KITTENS??????