some cinderella kid

I ended up watching a few minutes of VH1 Classic before I fell asleep last night, and, uh, i kind of watched this crazy old video of Kenny Loggins.

It was totally rad, with the whites blowing out and the occasional old VHS noise, and the slightly greenish skin tones. He was playing an outdoor concert which was just filled with girls in tube tops and guys with horrible Kenny Loggins-esque beards, and the whole thing looked pretty stinky and coked-out. If that wasn't enough evidence that it was the early 80s, he was playing I'm Alright, from Caddyshack, which is one of my guilty pleasure tunes (I didn't realize until last night that it contains the lyric "No, no, cannonball it right away.")

So far, we're okay, but you may want to prepare to throw up in your mouth a little bit:  he was wearing white ankle-high boots, a huge, puffy red jumpsuit with a novelty-sized belt around his waist, the obligatory rock-n-roll mullet, and seriously rocking out with his bad self while strumming an acoustic guitar.

Maybe I'm uptight, maybe I just don't understand the rock like I think I do, but when he ran around the stage during a guitar solo (which he wasn't playing; he had his 12-string a-strummin') and jumped up on a raised platform so he could kick an amp off the stage, I didn't think, "Oh man, that guy is a hardcore rockstar!" as much as I thought, "Uh, what the hell was that all about?"

I changed the channel when the Top Gun song started. There was no way I could endure shots of L. Ron Cruise after that.

Comments

[pylonian]

Oh man, that had me in tears. I love watching stuff like that. I mean, even though it turns your brain to soup and makes you feel a little, uh... icky? It's also so much fun. I need to find something like that right away.

And find my jumpsuit.

Eric in Portland, OR

[towers16]

Yep I too take a little guilty pleasure in listening to loggins. Whats bad is I used to own his "Back to Avalon" CD. whats even more disturbing, someone else liked it even more and stole the CD from me....After reading this article, I have a new suspect.

[jenjenofmn]

L. Ron Cruise...priceless....:)

Jen

[frecklebeach]

Oh Uncle Willy, you make-a-me laugh!

Any word about the gig on SciFi? We're pullin' for ya!

[Samurai Avon Lady]

I think I would have had nightmares after watching that...

[tony mcdowell]

I, too, love the L. Ron Cruise comment. that is probably the *best* tongue-in-cheek reference to him and his whole fiasco that i've head anyone come up with.

as to kenny loggins -- i must admit that i'm partial to danger zone (the top gun theme) as well as top gun as a movie as my 1980s guilty pleasure.

sure, it's got 1/2 of tomkat in it, but it also has anthony edwards, val kilmer, michael ironside, and a slew of other good actors that make it possible to forget about mr(s) cruise.

top gun has many of my fondest childhood memory tied up in it, so i suppose i'm more forgiving of it because of those memories, but i digress...

good post wil -- keep the humour flowing :)

[KenVanBrunt]

VHS Noise, $30
Kenny Loggins-esque beards, $50
Acoustic Guitar, $150

L. Ron Cruise... PRICELESS

[honeythunder]

I totally agree with KenVanBrunt. L. Ron Cruise IS priceless...I am so blogging that and giving you credit. The only music video that trumps Mr. Loggins is the video for Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart". It's a practically flawless execution of the 1980's mixed with the ethos of dimestore Dadaism. Click to change your life in ways you didn't think possible:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPMreFY8KzY&search=Total%20Eclipse%20of%20the%20Heart%20

As for Kenny Loggins, I think I have "Meet Me Halfway" (from Over the Top) on my iPod. Man, it's so obscure it doesn't even earn me any indie cred. Kinda like Fido Dido.

Any word on the Sci-Fi gig yet?!

[FEJ]

I tend to have that reaction to a lot of videos from the 80's. Even ones that I thought were cool the first time around. Kind of "What was I/were they thinking."

[Alan]

Yeah, you are way too uptight. Have you ever considered going into diamond manufacturing?

Who am I kidding? There is no way you are more uptight than I am.

[Dave]

I know what FEJ is talking about. It works the same with movies. I told my friends, "Dudes...you gotta see this bad ass martial arts flick I saw YEARS ago. It rocks! It's called Gymkata!"

We proceed to rent it. And watch it. Amidst awkward glances.

Friend: "Uh...yeah Dave...this is...uh...wicked. (sarcasm added)"

The moral of the story: Don't trust your memory....especially with resepct to ANYTHING from the 80's.

[Abbie Williams]

Is this old and people were holding out on me? (I know that it's more the style of the mid-nineties, but they were my eighties)

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2685718

[Cherikooka Munga]

That was seriously funny, and brought back memories of the scary 80's. The L. Tom Cruise reference was fierce! That's gonna be a classic!
-Cheri

[towers16]

would love to give uncle Wil the credit for L. Ron Cruse. But, I can't. I first saw it on one of the many in depth(wink) discussions on fark. Every time Cruse goes nuts, almost daily the fakers are there. I believe the last time I say L Ron Cruse, it was as a possible name for the Tomcat alien spawn.
Granted Wil could have coined it in fark, I don't know his alias there.
Despite this it is a very appropriate moniker.

[Denise]

"The Danger Zone" is still a guilty pleasure that my best friend tries to force on us. On a playlist he has included the following;

"The Danger Zone" Kenny Loggins (Top Gun)

"Axel F" Harold Faltermeyer (Beverly Hills Cop)

"Ghostbusters" Ray Parker Jr. (Ghostbusters)

"Goonies 'R' Good Enough" Cyndi Lauper (The Goonies)

"St. Elmo's Fire" John Parr (St. Elmo's Fire)

There more on there. It's seriously the attack of 80's movie soundtracks.

[Wil]

I absolutely can not take credit for coining "L. Ron Cruise."

I am a TotalFarker, and picked it up in a thread there.

[sjistarr]

I worked out to "Footloose" on my iPod today...

[Digital Goddess]

L. Ron Cruise is brilliant, I am still laughing. Kenny Loggins is someone you can like, but not ever tell anyone. I love "The Danger Zone", but let's keep that one on the down-low.

[jslicer]

Uncle Willie REPRESENT!

[oregonchick]

Kenny Loggins was the first concert I ever went to, at his Danger Zone best. I really, really thought that was a kick-ass concert. I also came across my old Europe: The Final Countdown cassette last weekend, so I have to admit to having had less than discerning musical taste in my past.

Okay, and my present. The song from "Caddyshack" never fails to make me smile and dance around. And it does a good job of quelling any urges to eat Baby Ruth candy bars, too!

[Thomas]

You sure will it was I'm Alright and not that environmental song he did in the early 90s? I only ask because I remember the 90s video very clearly cause he did it at the Grand Canyon and recruited the audience from my alma matre in Flagstaff. But considering we didn't have a car at the time, We missed out on the "fun". No complaints now :-)

[Kodmonkey]

Never went to a Kenny Loggins concert, but I do reluctantly admit to having a few of his CDs (Back to Avalon, Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow). It's a guilty pleasure of mine to put them on my Neuros and listen to them when I'm programming.

Personally I have nothing against him. In fact, a good lot of his songs are decent to listen to. I'm still very much an 80s freak when it comes to music.

On a side note, I was able to pick up "Back to Avalon" for about $4.00 (shipping was $4.25). I bought it mainly for the title track to Caddyshack II ("Nobody's Fool") but I found I liked most of the other tracks too. It's highly underrated and I recommend it to anyone that digs "I'm Alright".

[J. Rabbitte]

Wil, please tell me you've seen "Yacht Rock." It's Channel 101's dramatized history of Loggins, McDonald, and Hall & Oates. Check it out; it must be seen to be believed.

(Long time listener, first time caller. Thanks for providing some of the most fun commentary on the web.)

[psycoma]

I absolutely adore VH1 Classic. It's everything that I remember that was good about how MTV used to be. They didn't even have commercials on it when I started watching, but they've slowly started filtering those in.

It's ok I guess...I can put up with a few commercials in exchange for getting the chance to be 11 years old again, coming home from school and plopping down in front of my tv to watch the heavy rotation of Def Leppard Pyromania vids and pretty much anything having to do with Pat Benatar.

And I so wish that Cruise hadn't gotten all Hubbarfied because now I refuse to see his movies and I am a total special effects geek and missed War Of The Worlds because I was afraid of the subliminal message(s) that were written on the bottom of the space ships.

[Mark Leslie]

Okay, LMAO at the L. Ron Cruise comment.