I've been trying to turn my body's internal clock around to normal, after having it set on Vegas for most of the Summer, and it's much, much harder than I thought it would be.
No amount of Melatonin, Sleepytime tea, massive afternoon exercise, or "I'm getting up when the alarm goes off at 8, no matter what," is helping, and I am increasingly cranky as a result.
Yesterday, I made the mistake of having a black cherry soda around 6, and didn't realize until I'd already had the whole thing that it had caffeine in it. Awesome. I was staring at the ceiling until 2:30, and when I finally drifted off to a fitful sleep, Ryan and his friend woke me up from the living room, where they were watching TV.
Holy crap, did I unleash The Wrath.
I got back into bed, where I resumed staring at the ceiling until I fell asleep about 45 minutes later . . . only to wake up again because it was so fucking hot and stuffy in my bedroom. Yeah, genius that I am I'd set the thermostat at 82, planning to open my window and sleep with the fan on. It was a good plan, until I forgot to open the window and turn on the fan, because I rule so much.
I didn't violently throw the covers off like I normally would, because I didn't want to wake up my wife, but I did storm into the hallway and set the thermostat at 70, like a genius, so I could wake up again around 5 because it was too cold.
I honestly thought about cockpunching myself, just so I'd learn an important lesson, but I talked myself off the ledge and fell back asleep . . . just in time for Ferris and Riley to go completely berserk barking at a cat which wandered into our back yard just after 6.
At this point I was too tired for The Wrath, so I got out of bed, told them "thank you for keeping us safe from the evil cat in the back yard," and went back into bed. I put a T-shirt over my eyes so the sunlight wouldn't wake me up, and mercifully slept until 11:30.
I have a throbbing headache, my eye is twitching, I'm sick to my stomach, my jaw is sore from clenching my teeth when I did sleep, and holy shit am I in a mood. Seriously, I wouldn't want to come anywhere near me for at least the next twenty-four hours, as I am as likely to say "hello" as I am to say, "hey, why don't you go fuck yourself?"
Look out, world. You have been warned.