WWdN: In Exile

listen while you work

I listen to music while I work. I couldn't exactly tell you why (well, that's n ot true, I just don't feel like puzzling that question out at the moment,) but it's a really important part of my creative process.

When I worked on the first few drafts of Just A Geek, I listened to Boingo's Dark at the End of the Tunnel, and when I did the final draft, I listened to Rattle and Hum, The Wall, and Dark Side of the Moon. (Strangely, I did not listen to Dancing Barefoot when I worked on Dancing Barefoot, but I heard it in my head frequently.) I'm sure there's some really great symbolism there for someone who wants to dig it up; for me it was just music that was at the right wavelength, if you will, when I was writing.

These days, I rarely listen to a specific album or artist (though today, just to prove me wrong, I needed to hear The Pixies) but instead listen to Soma.fm, XM's Pops classical station, or I just let my iTunes library go to town and surprise me.

A few days ago, I came across this cool AppleScript via Lifehacker that tells iTunes to go ahead and do whatever it's doing, but when the BBC releases their hourly news update, it will finish my song, or fade out the stream, and play the latest news from the BBC. It kind of makes it like listening to the radio, and I feel like I'm sort of a smart guy who stays up to date on stuff going on in the world, without having to, you know, click on a website to read stories. It also reminds me to get up and stretch once an hour, which is really important because I plan to run a marathon sometime before 2007 is over.

So if it seems intriguing to you, check it out at Doug's AppleScripts. It was super easy to install and get running, and I had my first news report in less than ten minutes. There's also a version that will get the NPR news updates, if you prefer you news with a little less colour.

in which i report from the kitchen

The benefits of my hard work are starting to materialize in meaningful ways in my life, currently as some remodeling in my house that we've wanted to do for years but haven't been able to afford. At the moment, we're having drywall hung the house, and the ceilings in three rooms are being skim coated, to make them all smooth and shiny, so that when we have visitors over, they oolMost gets blind.

One of these rooms is where I usually do my work, so I've been temporarily relocated to my kitchen table, in what is probably the most uncomfortable chair in the entire house. This is just slightly less fun than it sounds, but comes with the added bonus of my dogs sleeping at my feet for the entire day, because their beds have also been temporarily moved to the kitchen.

However, the creeping pain in my neck and shoulders is easily offset by the glorious aroma of chili, which is currently cooking in the crockpot on the counter, just ten feet away from me.

I'm sure there are people in the world who work next door to a bakery or some other place which prepares delicious-smelling food . . . man, I don't know how they do it; I've been salivating all day long.

The Obligatory Biography

From time to time, I have to give a biography to people for publicity or job-related purposes.

Personally, I think bios are stupid. They're these silly little things that are supposed to tell everyone how fucking great you are and impress them with all your achievements, but they're a necessary evil in my business.

When I have to write a bio for anything, I always quote Zaphod Beeblebrox: "I'm just this guy, you know?"

But when I have to do something longer and less entertaining, I send out the following, which I reprint here so I can just tell people in the future "just google Wil+Wheaton+Biography+Zaphod" and you can get it off my blog.

(Incidentally, if you came here via that method, I didn't mean what I just said about bios being stupid. I think they're really awesome, and I hope you'll hire me, or at least buy me several drinks. Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.)

Wil Wheaton's successful acting career began in 1986 with acclaimed roles in Stand By Me and Toy Soldiers. He continued to build his resume through his teen years as series regular ‘Wesley Crusher’ on Star Trek: The Next Generation and opposite Robin Williams in Flubber. Most recently he appeared on the hit television show CSI. But Wil is much more than just an actor; he’s an author, blogger, voice actor, special correspondent to the BBC and social commentator. He is also Just A Geek.

Currently, Wil splits his time between writing and voice acting, providing the voice for Aqualad on the WB’s “Teen Titans”, Cosmic Boy on "Legion of Superheroes," as well as several video games, including Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, Everquest 2, Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories, Ghost Recon 2, and Ghost Recon 2: Advanced War Fighter. In 2003, Wil founded indie publishing company Monolith Press, and released a book of his short narrative non-fiction essays called “Dancing Barefoot”. It was an enormous success, hitting best seller lists at Powell's World of Books and Amazon.com. In July 2004, the highly anticipated follow up, “Just A Geek” was published, and released as an audiobook in 2005. "Do You Want Kids With That?" a humorous and touching collection of Wil's experiences as a stepparent will be published as an audiobook original in late 2007.

All three books grew out of Wil’s immensely popular, award-winning weblog, which he maintains at his website, WIL WHEATON dot NET. While most celebrities are happy to let publicists design and maintain their websites, Wil has taken a decidedly different turn with WWdN. He designed, coded, and maintains it entirely on his own. In 2003, Forbes.com readers voted WWdN the “Best Celebrity Weblog.” Wil's blog was chosen by C|Net for inclusion in their 100 most influential blogs, is consistently ranked in Technorati's Top 50 Blogs, and is an "A" lister, according to Blogebrity.com. In the 2002 weblog awards (the bloggies) Wil  won every category in which he was nominated, including “Weblog of the year.” In 2007, Wil was nominated for a Lifetime Achievement Bloggie, alongside Internet powerhouses Slashdot and Fark.

Wil has been a special correspondent for BBC Radio, including stints on Radio 5's Up All Night during California's recall election in 2003. He also writes for Metroblogging's blogging.la, works as a Navigator for Netscape News, writes reviews of classic Star Trek: The Next Generation for TVSquad.com, and is a featured weekly columnist at SuicideGirls.com. His column on classic 1980s video games, "The Games of our Lives" ran for 88 weeks in The Onion AV Club. He has also appeared as a contributor on VH1, MSNBC and SPIKE TV.

He is a writer and performer in the main company at the ACME comedy theatre in Hollywood, where, in 2006, he wrote and performed a weekly news segment for a SNL-like show, "Acme This Week." He is also an accomplished improvisor, and Los Angeles TheatreSports alumnus.

Wil is an avid and successful poker player. His skill at the poker table earned him an invite to Team PokerStars in 2005, where he plays with World Champions Greg Raymer, Chris Moneymaker, and Joe Hachem. In the aftermath of hurricane Katrina, Wil created and hosted several charity tournaments at PokerStars.com, which resulted in over $120,000 in contributions to the American Red Cross. In 2006, he was the last celebrity standing at the World Poker Tour Invitational, finishing 21st out of over 300 entrants, and earning $10,000 for the City of Hope cancer hospital in Duarte, California. He also hosts weekly "WWdN Invitational" tournaments at PokerStars, and is an ambassador for the popular site.

He lives in Pasadena, CA, with his wife Anne, and his stepchildren Ryan and Nolan. He is currently spending far too much time playing Guitar Hero II.

Geek in Review: Some Great Graphic Novels You May Have Missed

During the last year, guided by my friends and the owner of my Friendly Local Comic Shop, I've been fortunate enough to find some comic books that I missed when they were first published, because I was busy being a husband, stepfather, and struggling actor. They are now available in collected volumes, and a couple of them are still releasing new issues. I've deeply enjoyed them all, and for today's Geek in Review, I thought I'd point out a few of them, in the hopes that there are some other geeks out in their 30s who at one time loved comics (or still do) but for one reason or another missed these when they were first published.

Here's an excerpt from the Transmetropolitan portion of Some Great Graphic Novels You May Have Missed:

Spider carries with him a device called a "bowel disruptor" which does exactly what it sounds like, from simple cramps to full on shitting yourself to death. While Spider frequently aims this device at other characters in the series, writer Ellis also turns its literary equivalent onto religion, politics, consumerism, and popular culture. This is not to suggest that it's preachy, in fact, quite the opposite; while Ellis has said that he created the series to "get some things off my chest," he manages to craft a compelling story with rich and multi-layered characters that holds our interest while it alternately boils our blood and cracks us up.

The result is like playing fetch with a pit bull: you never know when your friendly game of catch is going to turn into a mauling, but that's why it's so much fun to read.

I had fun writing (and, uh, researching) this week's column, and I'm really pleased that the newswire is very SFW today, so unless you have a filtering problem with your IT department, you can safely read it without risk of deadly boobies.

If you like it, I'd love for you to vote it up at Netscape. Updated: Oh man. As of 5:10 PST, over five hours later, only 16 people thought it was worth voting up. That makes me really, really sad. Does it really suck? I thought it was pretty good. Damn. Constructive feedback, anyone?

backstage

Like a lot of teenagers, I really didn't like having my picture taken. Unlike most teenagers, I constantly found myself in places where there were numerous photographers, and I was expected to not only let them take my picture, but to actually pose for it. In order to keep some small measure of sanity, I surrounded photographers with a Somebody Else's Problem Field by the time I was fourteen.

I'm glad I did that, I wouldn't have this picture if I'd been aware that it was being taken, and I wouldn't have the great memory of standing with Denise outside Planet Hell (Stage 16 at Paramount) between shots, looking at what I think are proofs for the Star Trek: The Next Generation comic book.

(Enormous thanks to WWdN:iX reader Chris L., who sent me this promotional photo.)

unexpected followup

I know it's just a coincidence, but guess what just crept through my spam filter?

GENUINE ASSISTANCE NEEDED

CAN YOU HELP US INVEST OUR LATE FATHER FUND?????

Dearest Beloved,

Please kindly go through this letter before you pass judgment because I am in need of assistance. I am Mr. Idris Mustafa the son of late Dr. Malik Mustafa from Sierra Leone. I must confess my agitation is real, and my words is my bond, in this proposal

My late father happens to be in control of a large number of farms including cattle�s and many sheep before he was poisoned by his foreign business partners in Paris with my mother in one of their farmers association meeting because of greed. . . .

It goes on like this for quite some time, but you get the point.

Mister Idris Mustafa (mustafa_idris112@yahoo.fr) is wasting his time with me. I'm too busy not being stupid to help him out. He should talk to Thomas Katona. Oh. Wait.

REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

Atrios is fond of talking about how much the stupid burns. Usually, he's talking about idiot beltway pundits or reality-challenged thirty percenters, but I think I just found a case where the same phrase applies:

The longtime treasurer of Alcona County was accused Wednesday in an embezzlement scheme in which he may have served as both perpetrator and victim, sending up to $1.25 million in county funds and his own life savings to con artists after falling for one of the notorious online Nigerian banking frauds.

Thomas Katona, 56, of Harrisville was charged with nine felonies, including embezzlement and fraud, after a monthlong investigation by state authorities of numerous unauthorized wire transfers he allegedly made of county funds to overseas bank accounts.

The money quote:"Every part of this makes you wonder, 'What was he thinking?'"

(via Netscape)

ye gods, it doth amaze me

Yesterday's Intellectual Devotional entry was on Julius Caesar, and said in part:

Caesar was declared dictator by the Senate in the midst of his civil war with Pompey. It was a time of crisis, and the leader was thought to require decisive, emergency powers. But the emergency never passed. The Republic was not to be restored.

Caesar ruled as dictator, but he was largely careful to maintain the appearance of consulting the Senate -- stacked with his supporters -- and respecting the government's traditions.

Sounds eerily familiar, doesn't it?

what are words for?

Sniglets, for those of you who are too young to know the difference between 33 and 45 is a lot more than just 12, were "words that should be in the dictionary, but aren't." They were part of this really funny -- and very 80s -- show on HBO called Not (Necessarily) the News, which I just loved when I was a kid, even though most of their political satire flew like a flock of nuclear-war-triggering geese right over my young head

They were hit and miss, but when they hit, they were pretty funny. For example, a hit and a miss:

Cheedle: The orange residue left on fingers after eating Cheetos or some other cheesy snack (Hall 1984: 21)

Blivet: to flip your pillow looking for a cool spot (Hall 1984: 14)

Everybody get it? It's silly. Anyway, I just made up two Sniglets of my own:

UPExcitement (you-pee-excitement): The feeling of happy anticipation one gets upon hearing a UPS delivery truck speed down the street, because their package is finally being delivered.

UPEnvy (you-pee-envy): The feeling that same person gets when UPS does not deliver to their house, but instead drops a package with a neighbor.

I will now take the extraordinarily pretentious step of releasing my new Sniglets, which could earn me millions of dollars and buy me a mansion and a yacht, under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.5 License, with a badge and everything.



Sweet.

lumet on making movies

In my Fat Bitch Day post, dansroka said:

Back in college (way back, oh, in the late 80s), I took a class where we spent about a month examining 'Network'. It is such an amazingly complex film. That monologue scene has some amazing lighting and staging, which all reinforces the characters and their relationships to each other.

That reminded me of something I thought about when the movie was over, but quickly forgot to remember (with apologies to Yogi Berra.)

Years ago, when I thought that maybe I wanted to be a filmmaker (I chose writer because I can do essentially the same creative thing with 90% less stupid industry bullshit) I made a point to read lots of books by successful industry people whom I respected. In this batch of books, I read William Goldman's Adventures in the Screen Trade and Which Lie Did I Tell? (which inspired me to pursue writing more seriously, just not ever for film or television) and Sydney Lumet's Making Movies.

They're all great books, but Lumet's is truly outstanding, whether you want to make films of your own, or you just love movies. He made some of the greatest films of the 1970s (far and away my favorite decade for films) and in his book, he talks in great detail how he made his movies come together, and why he made some of the choices he made. Often, when he revealed a choice -- like slowly raising the camera toward the ceiling in Twelve Angry Men to create a sense of the walls closing in on the jurors -- I realized that I'd seen it without being aware of it (like a certain character who shows up all over the place in Watchmen.)

In Network, the film starts out extremely dark and grainy, then becomes clearer and more brightly-lit through the middle, and eventually ends in the same darkness as it began. I noticed this when the film was over, and wondered what exactly he was trying to convey when he did that. Is he making a statement about Howard Beale, or is he making a broader statement about the network itself? Does the darkness and light reflect the ratings? I also noticed that we frequently can't see all of a person's face when they speak . . . is that meant to reflect how secretive and guarded people are in the television news business?

Maybe it's all stupid bullshit that I'm reading too much into, but I've already spent too much time writing this to give it the old "what the fuck" and delete it.

Anyone care to comment? Update: James, from Ignore-your.tv has a comprehensive and totally awesome answer in comments. Come see, RSS readers!

(It really is a great movie that everyone really should see, if I haven't run that point deep enough into the ground to personally hand it to the Morlocks.)