victory is mine!

The prodigal bag has returned.

Late last night, I got a call from the baggage department[1] that it showed up, sad, alone, and confused -- but safe -- at the airport. A little math on my part leaves the impression that it either went ahead to Oakland and then came back to Burbank on the next flight, or it missed my flight from Vegas entirely (perhaps because it was playing Double Diamond Deluxe) and somehow missed the next two flights out.

In any case, a very nice man just dropped it off, and it's safely sitting on the floor in my living room, happy to be back home. It's also a little hungry, so I'm going to go feed it right now.

After we eat, we're going to have a little talk about paying attention in the airport so we don't miss our flight home.

[1] The Baggage Department may be a funny bit for a comedy sketch (even if it's a little high concept,) where characters are from a relationship's different 'department,' like the baggage department and other 'emotional' departments. Okay. That was a nice random off-the-top-of-my head bit which I should really delete, but I'm leaving, so I can look at this post later and think about what I did, especially since I've now realized that this isn't that funny an idea after all. Are you paying attention, SNL? This is how you get a mildly amusing one-joke idea, realize that it's not funny, and dump it entirely.

Comments

[Samuel McConnell]

Yep. By not dropping it at all. :)

[robotsandeggs]

Baggage *Claim* could have potential.

[PA_ChanMan]

Glad you got your stuff safe and sound...that's why I have yet to check a bag in the past three years. I guess you learned your lesson about playing the odds :)

The last time I checked bag was back in 2000 on our family's trip to Alaska and they lost a bag. They found it before our cruise ship departed so it didn't ruin our fun...but it came close!

-Justin

[ErkDude]

I think Pfizer has a new drug that allieviates symptoms of chronic thinkyourlugguagecaresosis.

::side effects are mild and may include bleeding rectum and verdigo.

[justme]

Maybe your bag just took that "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" line just a little too literally.

[zume]

Monty Python could have done it. the difference between SNL sketch comedy and the English tradition of sketch comedy is that SNL style requires every sketch to last at least 5 minutes... how can that possibly work?

In one show (within the Argument Sketch) Monty Python did have a visit to a Complaints Department.

>>Protagonist Opens Door

>>Protagonist: "I'd like to complain..."

>>Complaints department guy: "You want to complain! Look at these shoes I've only had them two weeks and they're completely..."

>>Protagonist shuts door.

So my version of the Baggage Department would be:

>>Protagonist opens door marked Baggage Department.

>>Clerk behind desk speaking on the phone: "Mother, I've told you I can't go over this again while I'm at work..."

>>Hangs up phone.

>>Protagonist closes door.

[leathej1]

Trust me - SNL wouldn't be interested in it. First of all, there isn't the possiblility of beating the dead, gay, one-trick pony further to death. Did I mention that the dead pony was gay?

[NotAPokerBlog]

Posts like this are why I totally <3 you.

[James Orr]

Usually when I travel, I travel light (last time I flew was a one day trip and I didn't even take a bag of any kind), but bags over a certain size have to be checked and you're only supposed to bring on one carry-on.

People who circumvent this are just annoying to other passengers.

[KaliAmanda]

>>Are you paying attention, SNL?<<

Christ Katan just called his agent for a new franchise!

[MamaSlyth]

Just because it might not be cut out for a comedy sketch does not mean it is without worth. It was a very healthy way of dealing with the frustration involved using humor.

As we all know, humor is very therapuetic and yet comedians can be very unhappy. I think something similar happens to them that can happen to a trained artist who takes art therapy - they access the talent for stress relief and then instead of just letting go and letting the humor do its job on a personal level, they start trying to think of ways to create from it, right then and there. Trained artists can still do art therapy to deal with the problems, but it is suggested that they not do any professional work during the time, if possible, because stressing over something's commericial value will get in the way of the healing. The other solution is to have them do their art therapy in a group with nonartists to help curb this thought process and unlearn for a few moments their training.

So, this post needs to stay because it is still cute and it shows how you dealt with a stressful situtation. It doesn't need any more value than that.

[jdifran]

So I said to the person at the check-in counter, "I want you to send this bag to New York, that bag to Chicago, and the other one to Philadelphia."

"I'm sorry sir, but we can't do that," he replied.

I said, "Why not? You did it last time."

*rimshot*

[Mad Monk]

I can see the headline at technorati.com:

"This week, read as wil wheaton posts about his bag."

[Poet with a Day Job]

This is awesome. Once, I had to send my cat to Mass. from Calif. and back again. Well, wouldn't you know it, on the way back when I went to retrieve her the nice lady at Delta Dash said she wasn't there. I said why? Where is she? And the lady says "She missed her connection in Dallas." Yes, that's my cat, getting drunk in the bar and missing connections.

[starshine_diva]

LOL. I love it.
It's the kind of thing I say, and have people looking at me weird.

[spacewriter]

"...you're only supposed to bring on one carry-on.

People who circumvent this are just annoying to other passengers."

Well, technically it's two carryons, one small and one personal. I just flew home cross-country yesterday and I continue to marvel at what people consider "small" and "personal."

And, I am NOT referring to the folks who (like me) must carry a medical device along... those generally tend to fit in the overhead bins without problems.

But, the woman next to me brought on the mother of all roll-aboards and took up an entire bin with it. When asked to turn it around and push it in wheels-first, she had the stupidity to tell the FA, "Oh, it won't fit."

The FA (bless her) said, "Then I'll check it for you." and she grabbed it out and took it to the front before the "road warrioress" next to me could say anything. But, she did spend the rest of the flight whining to the guy next to her, who (I'm sure) was wishing he had a personal music device to put on. I did, and I put it on immediately and blissed out to Santana, brass music, and other such good stuff all the way home.

Glad you got your bag, Wil. Mine arrived all safe and sound, which never fails to amaze me.

[Alan]

"Bob? What are you doing in the Emotional department?"

"Uh... The boss is going on a blind date tonight and I can't find the baggage."

"Oh my god! That is so sad!!!"

Emotional agent goes running off and slams the door behind her.

You're right. It was funnier as Herman's Head.

[I]

Reading Wil's blog is bad luck. I've never had a problem with Southwest and my baggage, till the very first flight I took after reading this post.

Luckily, it showed up on the next flight in from Tampa, an hour later.

[fferret]

Hm, I forgot about Herman's Head. I was going to mention Psychonauts, the game. It has emtional baggage scattered throughout the levels. You have to find the baggage tags, and reunite them with the bag in question. Find all of them, and special movies unlock in the game!