on writing . . .

Ryan is in a creative writing class at school, and throughout this year, I've watched him grow from his first uncertain steps to the confident and insightful writer he is today.

A few weeks ago, his teacher invited me to come to the class and speak about my experiences as a writer, self-publisher, and actor. I accepted instantly.

Yesterday was my day to speak, so I put together my outline in the morning, practiced speaking it aloud to my dogs (who are a very good audience) and felt totally prepared to share some insights in what I hoped would be 45 entertaining minutes.

My confidence evaporated and my stomach tied itself into a tiny knot of terror as soon as I set foot on the campus. No matter how successful I am, and no matter how old I am, when I go to a high school, the muscle and emotional memories of being a teenage geek overwhelm me, and I feel . . . well, like I did in high school.

"Please, no cool kids. Please, no cool kids. Please, no cool kids." I thought to myself as I walked to the office.

"You are a guest speaker today, right?" One of the school staff said to me, as I signed my name on the guest register.

"Yeah, I am," I said.

"Are you excited?"

"Uhm," I said, my voice catching in my throat, "I was a nerd in high school, so whenever I come onto a school campus, I feel really awkward and nervous."

"I think you'll do fine," she said with a gentle smile.

"I hope so," I said. "I guess it's kind of funny how I feel automatically intimidated by kids I'd tell to get off my lawn if I were at home."

She laughed, and handed me a pass with my name on it. "Here you go."

"I think you're supposed to call Ryan and --"

A hand clapped down on my shoulder and I jumped a little bit.

"He's already here," she said. "See? It's already going smoothly."

I turned and looked into Ryan's face.

"Ready?" He said.

"Uh-huh."

We walked across the campus together. Ryan waved to a few of his friends, and I did my best not to embarrass him or myself.

I met his teacher outside the class.

"Thank you for coming," She said. "We're really excited to have you here."

"That's great," I said. "I hope I can connect to your students."

"I'm sure you will," she said. "I'll introduce you now."

She walked into the class and introduced me. I took a deep breath, and followed. The walk from the doorway to the podium in the front seemed to take forever, and I felt just like I did on my first day of real high school: out of place and awkward, certain that everyone was staring at me.

This time, everyone was staring at me . . . but I hadn't done anything stupid yet, so I felt a little better than I did twenty years ago.

I took my sunglasses off, and set them on the podium. While I reached into my pocket for my notes, they slid off and clattered on the floor.

Perfect.

I knelt down and picked them up, this time setting them on a chair next to me. I unfolded my notes and said, "So here's the thing: I was a nerd in high school, so whenever I get around high school students, I am reminded of how that felt . . . so I sort of feel that way right now. Bear with me a minute while I settle down, okay?"

A couple of kids smiled at me. Most of them just looked at me, unimpressed.

Oh boy.

"When I was in school, we'd have people come in and talk about what was interesting to them, but they never left enough time for questions, so we could talk about what was interesting to us. So today, I hope to keep my talking at you brief, and leave enough time for talking with you."

I looked around the room. Nothing. Man, this is a tough crowd.

I took another deep breath. Okay, here we go.

I got into my talk, and I felt myself relax just a little bit. It was so important to me to make a connection to these kids, to give them something that was actually relevant to their lives. Even though I couldn't tell if I was doing it, by an objective standard, I didn't completely suck, so at the very least, I'd have one of those "moral victories" I keep reading about in the papers when people lose.

I talked about the similarities and differences between writing fiction and writing screenplays, what it's like as an actor to get an over or under-written script, and offered some examples from my experiences on both sides of the page. When I was just about finished, I gave them what I called my rules for good writing, which I'll share here, as well:

1. Don't be afraid to suck. It's easier to fix something that's broken than it is to create something from nothing.
2. Write your first draft "with the door closed."
3. Don't try to make everyone happy. If you try to make everyone happy, you end up with According To Jim. Write what you're passionate about, and write to entertain, amuse, and satisfy yourself. To borrow a phrase from Joel Hodgeson, the creator of MST3K: don't ask yourself, "Will anyone get this?" Instead, tell yourself, "The right people will get this."
4. If you're going to write, you have to read. If you're going to write screenplays, you have to read, and you have to watch lots and lots of movies, both for entertainment and for education.

"So, that's me talking at you, and now I'll spend the rest of our time together talking with you. Any questions?"

As it turns out, I had nothing to worry about. There were tons of questions, and all of them were incredibly insightful -- especially for teens. I only got to spend twenty minutes or so in the Q&A format with them, but it was really rewarding for me and seemed interesting and useful for them.

When my time was up, I thanked them for listening to me, and many of them thanked me on their way out of the class for my talk. Their teacher told me that she'd had a few other guest speakers this year, and the general consensus among the students she talked with was that I was the best of the lot. I took that to mean that I connected with them more than anyone else, which made me really happy, because that was my goal all along.

I had one last thing to tell them, which I didn't say. I intended it to be inspiring, but I just wasn't sure if it would come across that way, so I edited myself and left it out. I'll reprint it here, though, in case any of them stop by to read this:

This is entirely unrelated to writing, but it's something I wish someone had told me when I was your age: High school is a really important time in your life, and what you learn here and how you grow as a person will profoundly impact your adult years. But the social thing? It really doesn't matter, because after you graduate, you never have to see anyone from high school again, unless you really want to. A guy said to me yesterday, "If you win at high school, you lose at life," and that made a lot of sense to me. I'm sure you guys are a creative bunch of people, which means you have a certain degree of sensitivity, something that is usually the object of ridicule in school. Well, don't deny that because you're afraid of being unpopular. It's really not worth it. So stay focused, go to college, and thank me in your acknowledgments when your book is published. It's "Wil" with one "L."

On the way to the car, Ryan said that he liked my talk, and appreciated me coming in.

"You were really nervous when you started, huh?" He said.

"Yeah," I said. "I really was."

"You didn't need to be. You rocked."

I smiled. It was the only opinion that mattered.

Comments

[Byron]

Sounds like you had a great day, Wil. My only quibble would be about the "for teeens" comment.

Think about what you would have thought if a 40-ish guy said that to you when you were a teen. I know what I would have thought!

We know better, and they will too in 20 years, but still...

[onegirlmanyideas]

whew. high school. glad that's over.

just to let you know: i appreciate what you say and how you say it. it seems like your self critic's been working over time recently. i say tell him to shut up and go away. you don't need that dude.

you've been dishing out some pretty inspiring gems of late, this one especially.

thank you.

[beelkay]

Hey, Wil, didn't you hear? Us geeks and nerds are cool now! (Sorry, dorks, there's no help for you...)
I'm always glad to read these family-life posts, because your stories always exude such happiness, excitement, pride, and interest.

[starbuck2161]

thanks! I'm about to graduate high school and I guess I've kinda figured it out myself but I think you've kinda hit it spot on. As far as I know, anyway. Now I just need to get through four years of college. That's better, right?

(and beelkay, nerds might be cool in the Real World but they still aren't cool in high school)

[Tekn0phile]

You are right Wil. I do wish someone had told me that in High School.

[pistachoo]

Hey Wil,

These little snippets of life and parenting are, I think, my favorite topic of yours to read. And you have *such* a knack for the perfect concluding line!

Thanks for sharing :)

[KathrynHawke]

Hey,

Thanks for sharing this story! I took a creative writing class too in my final year in high school and it rocked! We had a former student of the class (but he wasn't a published author, not even self-published) who came in practically every Tuesday and Thursday to talk to us and often brought in music to which we would write to. You know, the images that we saw in our heads. It was the best ever and since he was a geek too, I had a lot to talk to about with him before and during class.

I'm glad that the students enjoyed your presentation, it's great to have writers to come and speak to creative writing classes. I wish we could've had someone to come and speak to us but that's the problem with going to a backwater high school. lol. I just hope one day I can get published. Here's hoping!

[Andrew]

High school's no picnic for the teachers, either. I think the only professions more under the microscope are actors and politicians.

Fortunately, being a teacher (and especially a former teacher -- career changes FTW!) also means not having to see former students again unless you want to.

[FABIAN]

Wil,

You had a great day and entry.

FG

[Kristen]

Man, I wish I'd had some good speakers during high school. My experiences with high school guest speakers have all been bland and never memorable.

And wow, I love this - "It's easier to fix something that's broken than it is to create something from nothing." That's something I really learned this semester at school; it's much easier to write 4 or 5 drafts than it is to sit down the night before the paper is due and try to write a perfect final draft.

[John Fiala]

God, yes. Total agreement with you on high school.

Congratulations on your talk going so well!

[Peter D]

Hi Wil.

My biggest problem is #3 - being a nerd in school I have a constant need for approval - I am terrified of writing something that sucks and won't be red. But you're right - the right people will get it.

Thanks.

[Kristin]

Wil-

I am all bubbly and excited about this post. I teach high school English (10 years and still excited to go to work in the morning), and my favorite years are the ones when I get to teach creative writing.

Over the years I've invited many people into my classroom and had the privilege of working with a number of talented authors, but what I love the most is watching students like Ryan make the transformation you described: from the "first uncertain steps" to "talented and insightful" writers.

I wasn't able to teach a section of CW this year, so I decided to try to start a new National Poetry Month celebration for my school instead--the highlight of which was a schoolwide poetry slam run by two of my dear friends, National Poetry Slam coaches who flew all the way from Massachusetts to participate in our celebration. We now have two proud Slam Masters of the Middle and Upper divisions. It was so amazing, and my visiting poet friends raved about the entire experience.

I don't know if I'm going to be able to teach creative writing next year, but I sure as heck want to do the slam again. SO much fun.

After all that babbling, really what I wanted to do was to thank you for being a part of high school students' writing programs and to tell you that I love your advice for teens.

Thanks-
Kristin

[heather]

awesome post, vivid imagery (felt like i was there with you) and harmonious. nice work!

[R]

well told, Wil. You've definitely put into words why I could never imagine teaching high school (tho' that job is so crucial). I think it was smart to edit out what you did; I agree with you, but it's the kind of thing that you can only fully get in hindsight. IMO.

Anyway, I'm so glad they responded well...especially Ryan! You've come a long way since "I feel strange, but also good!", which I saw you say today (I chortled heartily--thanks for that). :)

[Marc Costanzo]

Wil,

I have 4 daughters, 3 of them in school. I often volunteer to read to the class and the like. I think you would agree it is one of the most rewarding experiences.

[Jenn M.]

That's great advice about high school. I'm glad it went well. That's going to be an awesome memory for those kids.

[BenPaddon.co.uk]

Inspiring, insightful and generally superb. I think this is probably my favourite blog entry of yours to date.

[APj]

Thanks for sharing this story! I was asked by my daughters Lit.teacher to come substitute teach their class one day -- I was very nervous, but had a blast discussing/comparing/contrasting our writing styles.

Thanks for telling them how important their time is NOW -- these are the years that they will look back on (hopefully) fondly, and with (mostly) good memories.

[angie k]

Thanks for sharing that! My creative writing class in high school could have benefited from some great speakers like you. It's great to hear that you could do that for Ryan's class. I think the advice on the list I still need to follow, even after many years past high school, is #1 - don't be afraid to suck. In my writings in undergrad I was still afraid to fail and wanted my first drafts to be perfect. It's hard to get over.

Glad you had a good time! (P.S. When you post about writing and then writing and education I keep feeling pulled to finally go ahead and try to be the English and Theatre teacher I've wanted to be forever. If I ever do I'll work you into the curriculum. ^_^)

[SantaFlash]

Thanks for sharing Wil!

I only hope my son says great comments like yours. I feel that no matter what I do, if my son views me as a "hero" in his eyes, that is really all I need!

[CHV]

Wil:

Even though your post-scripted take on high school was dead-on, IMO, I think it's a good idea that you left it out since you were asked to speak on writing, not deliver an editorial on life during and after high school which might have come across as a tad preachy.

Again, I think your take on the matter was near-perfect, but those kids will learn soon enough that high school is not, in fact, the end-all, be-all of human experience.

God help us all if it were.

[fairnhite451]

"If you win at high school, you lose at life"

I smell a new t-shirt!

[DJC]

Good self-edit, Wil.

As others are saying, the 'winning at high school' statement resonates with us now but you could have been dismissed for it, ruining what sounds like a very good connection with them on writing and being writer.

The two had nothing to do with each other and more to do with commonly-held insecurities. I can relate but, as grown-ups, we can step over that corpse and move on.

Well done.

[Almost Lucid (Brad)]

These are my favorite kind of posts from you, Wil. Nicely done.

BTW, you screenplay very well. I bet you'd write an excellent movie.