one from the archives: Save Ferris

Looking at that picture of my awesome dog yesterday reminded me of a post I made all the way back in August of 2001, on the original WWdN. I think it's a cute story, but it's also an amusing illustration of just how much I've grown as a writer and blogger since then . . .

Save Ferris
by Wil

I'm listening to Cake right now. Have you noticed that Cake is one of those bands that evokes a visceral reaction in people? I mean, they either really, really love it, or they really, really hate it. I dunno, maybe it's just me.

Here's the story of Ferris:

My wife is the coolest, ever. You know that stupid corny hallmark-card thing about someone making you want to be a better person? Well, sorry, I like to be anti and all Emo and shit, but it's true. I love my wife more than anything, and she really does make me want to be a better person. I could gush about her for pages here, but I'm not gonna. I am going to exercise restraint.

Oh, fuck that. I knew from the moment that I saw Anne that I would marry her. Isn't that weird? Has that ever happened to someone who wasn't in some godawful Nora Ephron movie? And the way we met...it was all timing. My best girlfriend, Stephanie, worked with Anne for YEARS, but she never introduced us...I mean, she even babysat Anne's kids, at MY PARENT'S HOUSE when we were younger, and she never introduced me to Anne...because, when we look back at stuff, the timing was just all wrong. We weren't ready to meet each other. But when we did, it was bootylicious.

Anne is beautiful. I mean, she is fucking hella rad.

Hella.

Hella.

Hella.

I always joke that when we are out, people look at us and complain that there's another hot babe with a geek. I say that I am Bob Goldthwait to her Nikki Cox, David Copperfield to her Claudia Schiffer, Sigfried to her Roy...I truly adore my wife, and that's all I have to say about that.

One of the things I adore about her is how she has what Soul Coughing called "Boundless Love". Anne works every day, takes her kids to school, picks them up, deals with their dad, and still has time to make me feel like I'm important in her life.

We have this fake dog poop that someone gave us a long time ago, and we have the game that we play, where we try to put the poop in each other's stuff. Recently, I stuck it in the toe of her shoe, which was in her suitcase. She found it when she put her shoe on in Vegas. She put it in the exact middle of my bed, under the sheets, and it scared the hell out of me when I jumped into bed around 230 or something last week. My point is, my wife is cool, okay? Yesterday, when I was sobbing like a little bitch in our bedroom, she came in, sat next to me, put her arm around me, and just sat there, loving me. I could feel it. Then she gave me Kleenex, and told me that she'd leave me alone until I felt better.

So you need to know that to understand the story of Ferris.

Anne is a sucker for hard-luck cases, especially animals. One time a few years ago, she almost got hit on the freeway, because she saw a kitten running in the slow lane...so she stopped her car right there and got out to save the kitten, but it got hit by a car just before Anne could get to it, and Anne sat on the freeway, holding the kitten while it died in her hands.

She was fucked up about it for months.

So about 18 months ago, she and I are on our patio, and we hear this meowing coming from our garage. We both thought it was one of my cats, Biko or Sketch, (who are both inside cats, but occasionally get out), so we went to look...and out comes this skinny black cat with no tail. Anne immediately falls in love with him, and she takes him to the vet, to get him healthy again, while I make the "Found Cat" posters. Long story short: We thought he was going to die, the vet said he was just dehydrated, we got him shots, and Anne named him "Felix". He has lived with us ever since, and he is one ot the coolest cats, ever.

Shortly after Felix came to live with us, a woman Anne works with told us about this guide dog she trained, who was also named Felix. She told us that Felix works for a guy up in Canada (and you can't spell "runaway production" without Canada!), and Felix had been hit by a car, and they weren't sure if he would be able to work as a guide dog any more. I guess when a service dog has to be retired, they give the person who trained that animal the right of first refusal as a place to live out their life, but Rita (Anne's friend) lives in an apartment with her husband and young son. Not the best place for a 90 pound lab. So Rita asked her if Felix could come to live with us, and of course Anne said "yes". Long story short: Felix was okay, and he's still working with his guy in Canada. Which is great, because I can only imagine what the bond between service dog and owner must be like. I would just speculate that it's similar to parent-child, and I always hoped that Felix would be able to stay with his guy. In the process of waiting to see if Felix would come live with us, we got on a list for guide dogs who flunk their final exam, because we have wanted a dog for AGES, and we thought that would be the best way to get one.

We are ADAMANTLY opposed to pet stores selling dogs and cats, by the way /soapbox.

Anyway, cut to Memorial day this year. We have no dog. Anne is taking the kids to Home Depot, so they can buy the materials necessary to make a grind rail (they're all about the short boards. I'm all about the long boards. It makes for an interesting dynamic when we skate).

Funny aside: Ryan (12) and Nolan (10) were talking about how excited they were to get a grind rail, which they kept calling a "pole". Nolan says to Ryan, "We TOTALLY have to get some grinding wax, Ryan!" Ryan replies, "Yeah, so we can wax our pole!"

Okay, so they're leaving the Home Depot, and instead of going to the Left, to get back to the freeway like they always do, Anne goes right, and passes this bus stop, where this tiny little dog is chewing on a t-shirt. Anne says that she felt compelled to stop and save her. So she did. As soon as she got out of the car, the dog ran into some Oleander bushes, and Anne spent close to 30 minutes getting her out, and took her to an Emergency vet, for some shots and to get the ticks out of her ears.

So Anne brings home this skinny, 27 pound, depressed little dog, and, I must be totally honest, I was pissed. I was so mad that she had made this huge decision to take on the responsibility of a dog without consulting me. I mean, we have enough responsibilities already, you know? We really had it out. There was much gnashing of teeth, and Sir Robin soiled his armor. We finally agreed to keep her for a few days, and see how she was, and if she wasn't any better, we'd take her to a shelter where they don't euthanize the animals.

Well, she was terrified of me. She had CLEARLY been abused by a man, and she was terrified of men. "Great," I thought, "I'm going to be responsible for a dog who never lets me pet her. Terrific."

And for the first 12 hours--wait, I know I'm not supposed to start a sentence with a conjunction. But I can't spell for shit, so why are you complaining now? Jeeze. Get off my back, Mrs. Lee [9th grade English teacher who flunked me because she said I couldn't write. I win.]--for the first 12 hours, she sat by the side door, never moving, never eating, just looking depressed. But somehow, my amazing wife loved this dog enough, and totally turned her around. Within 12 hours she was wagging her entire body, eating, chasing a tennis ball, and generally acting like a dog. And she let me pet her, and started following me everywhere around our house.

So we decided to keep her. But she needed a name...and that was very important. I wanted to give her a name from Mythology..."Athena" or "Psyche" or something. I know, lame. Deal. The kids wanted to name her "Haley", which didn't work for me at ALL, because in high school I had the most painful crush on a girl named Haley...so we decided that we'd try on different names for a few days, and the right one would reveal itself to us.

Anne comes home from work the next day, comes in the door, looks at me and says, "Ferris."

"Bueller?"

"Sort of. Save Ferris!"

Okay, there is this band from OC that we LOVE called Save Ferris. They play with our friends fairview a lot. They rule.

Anne says, "Get it? Save Ferris. I totally saved Ferris!"

I looked at the dog, looked at her sweet, marble eyes and soft little puppy-fuzzy-head, and it was perfect. Not surprising, considering that it came from my wife.

So her name is "Ferris".

Isn't that a cool story?

Anyone?

Anyone?

Bueller?

Bueller?

Comments

[Nika]

I think this is one of the first stories I ever read on WWdN. That's why I always think of "Save Ferris" whenever you have a story about your totally awesome dog.

[KatieKatie]

Yes it is a cool story.
And I love "Save Ferris" also. Just recently heard of them.. they are awesome!
Oh, and so is your dog. :o)

[Beyond Ken]

>Well, sorry, I like to be anti and all Emo and stuff, but it's true.

Wow. Wheaton was EMO before EMO was cool!

[Jen]

Sadly, saveferris.com doesn't appear to belong to the band? Nor .net, nor .org :( But they're awesome, and I want another album!!

[beelkay]

Why were you crying like a little bitch?

[SantaFlash]

Well, now I don't feel so bad being a sucker for hard-luck cases! I've had several and they always seem to make the best pets. Why buy from a store when there are so many that need a home and are FREE (well....minus the vet bill). Ferris looks a lot like my previous dog, Sheba, who had been abused by some old chick with a cane. I miss her. :(

Just a comment: I always assumed your misspellings, grammatical errors and such were due to the EXCITEMENT you were experiencing while typing/writing. Am I wrong?

[SandieK]

While we're on the topic of rescued pets making better pets, Jessica over at Indexed has done it again.

[SandieK]

Oh, right. Forgot to comment on the post itself.
I remember reading it the first time and tearing up at the kit on the freeway.
It wasnt too long ago I more or less went through the same thing. I came upon a cat that had just been hit. I tried to get him to the Emergency vet, held him in my lap as I drove. Of course, he didnt make it.
A year ago July, one of our cats was hit by a car during the night.
This entry made me tear up then, and it did again this time.
And your teacher said you couldnt write?????

[Adrienne]

I loved this story the first time, thanks for the reminder. (oh shit, have I been reading WWdN for that long?)
Don't ever think another book of stories, however slim, won't fly off the virtual shelves! You are a great writer.

[JohnD2000]

I've been reading your blog for a long time -- thanks for being one of the most accessible and intelligent actor/writers on the planet. Now I realize that you are one of the most humane ones as well. I've rescued a number of lost or neglected animals over the years. I know the work that it entails. I also know that the love you get from the rescued animals is the most true love you will ever find. Thanks for sharing the love and the joy.

[Riley Joy]

You guys are good people.

[Riley Joy]

I went to our local humane society last week and adopted a little guy. I always go to the humane society to adopt but damn it's a hard place to be. I wanted to bring everybody home.

[angie k]

Bueller.

That's a great story. What a flashback. Your stream of consciousness is as awesome to witness now as it was then. Actually, it was more awesome to witness now since your writing style has changed. Hella aweseome. :)

Ferris is a beautiful dog. And very lucky, too, to have found such a wonderful family like you guys.

[Fish]

So yeah, you're a MUCH better writer these days.

[Starr01]

That is a great story...Thanks for the re post as I only tuned in recently.

I do have to say you have "matured" some as a writer. I had to chuckle at hella rad Anne hehe. Although she most definitely is.

[hotmama]

Snarf Snarf!! That was a great story. It really made me smile! I am a new reader (old fan). Your pets are very lucky to have you.

[dreamer87]

This is a very good entry, one of my favorites. I read it in Just A Geek last night. By the way the book is fantastic and this website rocks out loud!!

[R]

I remember this one. It's a great story, and yes, it's true that you've come a long way writing-wise. thumbs up :)

[RachelH]

Sweet story. Animals come to us because they know we'll love them.

I too had a lost and injured kitten die in my arms, and, though I spent several years as a verterinary assistant before that, i still was messed up about it for quite awhile.

I can see why your blog became so popular, and yet, I can also see that you have improved significantly as a writer since then. You're a much tighter writer now. Things flow, instead of ping-ponging around.

By the way, Ferris looks like the sort of dog that you can't help but give smoochies to!

[peanutbutter]

I remember reading this story when you first posted it. Just as good the second time around. And now with pictures...or picture, rather. :)

[SonWorshipper]

Wil,
My family just heard devestating, WTF is wrong with this world, made-my-momma bawl news. While I couldn't exactly laugh to your story, as is usual for such a story, one corner of my mouth turned up.
fyi.

[starshine_diva]

Thanks for the flashback!

[phedrang]

Animals are cool. One of our cats pretends he's a dog, most of the time.
Neat story!

[TitanKT]

I think that's a sweet story and well told. You may have grown as a writer, your writing now is different, more polished maybe... but clearly you've always been a good writer.

And I think it's wonderful how much you love your wife. It makes me feel badly about all the people who get married and don't love each other as much. It doesn't make sense to think of it in those terms, I know... but it's a sense of pity I feel for people who never know the kind of love you have.

Anyway, I also think people who rescue animals absolutely rock. You must know Neil Gaiman just rescued a dog. He rocks. He rocks in so many ways I can't count, but the dog he rescued is awesome and even more awesome that he named the dog, who looks like a white German shepard, Cabal. How perfect is that?

Cheers to people who rescue dogs and give them such great names!

[passinthru]

Your prose may have become more subtle, over the years, but it’s still a nice post. The story has good pacing, and the sentiments are genuine. Both actors’ strengths, you’ll notice.
I have a friend who’s a fairly prominent blogger in environmental/political areas. He writes extremely well, in that he has an eye for detail and an accurate and vivid use of language. His politics are unexceptionable. But he’s not a real pleasure to read, on a regular basis, because he’s an SOB. He’s frequently negative and smug. (Longtime friends are privileged to notice such things. ;o) )One of the true merits of your writing, in my opinion, is that your considerable wit is not being used to replace being emotionally present. That’s a rare and valuable quality in person OR writer. Nice work.