for your consideration . . .

Important Update: Please read this post. Thanks.

Last year, I was nominated for a Lifetime Achievement Award in the weblog awards. I didn't mention anything about it on my blog because I was nominated with Fark and Slashdot, and I honestly didn't think I deserved to win. In a few years, maybe we can talk about lifetime achievement, but right now? Not so much.

However, it recently came to my attention that I'm nominated as the best celebrity blogger in something called the Blogger's Choice Awards. Yes, it's a silly popularity contest, and it just drives advertising and pageviews to the award site, and normally I just don't care about this sort of thing, but . . .

I'm getting my ass handed to me by Rosie O'Donnell, who currently has more votes than second, third, and four places combined.

Yeah, you read that correctly. I'm running a very strong second, but I'm getting destroyed by Rosie O'Donnell, and I'd really like your vote.

I don't expect you to blindly cast a vote for me just because I asked, though. I humbly offer the following entries for your consideration:

The Butterfly Tree

Before we finished the shortened version of the math lesson, I heard my little brother's voice from the back of the room.

"Mommy! I can't see Willow!"

All the parents laughed. Mrs. Krocka spun around from the chalkboard, and shot a whithering look toward the back of the room.

I concentrated on my math ditto. It was two columns of four problems, printed in purple ink on that paper that dissolved if you erased it too much. I held my oversized pencil tightly in my now-sweating hand and held my breath.

I heard my mom say, softly, "He's right there, Jer Bear."

"Hi Willow!" He called out, louder. "I see you in school!"

The parents all giggled again. To my horror, a giggle escaped from me, too.

Mrs. Krocka looked directly at me, and through colorless, tightly drawn lips said, "I do not tolerate outbursts like this in my classroom."

In the front of the class, next to the chalkboard, there was a cork board. On the cork board, next to the classroom rules, was a laminated picture of a tree. Attached to that tree were laminated butterflies, each with a student's name on it. If a student got into any sort of trouble during the day, Mrs. Gleason would take that student's butterfly off the tree, and pin it to a different area of the board.

Mrs. Krocka walked to the front of the classroom and was at the tree, taking my butterfly off before I even realized what was happening. As hard as it had been not to giggle, it now became even more difficult not to cry.

Blue Light Special

Wow. The Millennium Falcon. It was so big, it took two hands to fly it. My friend Darryl let me watch as he put his together, and it had two sheets of stickers! It had this place where you could hide your figures, and you could recreate that cool chess game and Luke's fight with the training droid thingy!

Could I do it? Could I save my allowance until I had enough to buy it? What if they didn't have it when I was all saved up, though? Then what would I do? Mom would make me put my money in the bank, and I just knew I'd never see it  again, while it earned something stupid called interest.

My brother came running down the aisle, nearly losing his ever-present blue baseball cap in the process.

"Wil! Look! I got an airplane!" He held up one of those balsa wood planes that always broke on the second flight, provided you didn't break them during assembly.

"Oh no," I thought, "Mom will be right behind him!" I could hear my sister fussing in the cart as it turned the corner and squeaked up behind me.

"What did you decide, Wil?" My mom said. "Amy's getting fussy and we need to leave."

I hadn't had nearly enough time to make up my mind. This was all a plot by my mom to get me to save my money! I had to stall, so I pretended I didn't hear her.

"Oh, that's uh, neat," I said to my brother. "What's it do?"

It's a plane, you dolt. It flies.

"Wil?" My mom said.

For comparison, here's a recent bit from Rosie O'Donnell's blog:

i saw new baby ducks today too
so tiny and cute
i threw them salt free soda crackers
u can fling them pretty far

Also, this:

is this kelli
no rosie
well hello it is betsy
i saw the view today
and wanted to call u
and just say hi and i hope u r ok

Uhm . . . yeah.

So at the moment, she's utterly destroying the field with 7700 votes. I'm in second with 3600 3400, and Neil Gaiman -- the one blogger in the top three who is, you know, an actual, award-winning writer -- is in third with 1032, barely beating an intern from NBC.

I don't have The View, and I don't have all the stupid public feuds with idiots to draw attention to my blog, but if not even half of the people who read my blog took three minutes to cast a vote, we could knock Rosie O'Donnell out of first place. If we do that, I'd think of it not as a victory for me, but as a victory for bloggers everywhere and the written word.

Comments

[Soo]

I voted for you, Wil! Your blog is better, because it appeals to everyone (eventually), not just soccer moms.

Fark noticed long before you did that you were running second, and a campaign began to fix that for you. Unfortunately, they also left comments.

Also, Rosie mentioned the contest on her show, which may have helped boost her scores.

[tjp]

I voted for you months ago.
I was nominated for worst blog ever for Ted's soapbox part 1 http://s158363091.onlinehome.us/

Ted www.pafundi.com
===========================
Number of Operations Iraq Freedom and Enduring Freedom casualties
as confirmed by U.S. Central Command: 3830

[Valerie]

You've got my vote. :)

[Jim2]

Vote blindly cast :)

[shewhobeatsass]

I voted for you!

Wish my LiveJournal would get nominated for something. Haven't gotten any comments, but me and my buddy Sylver's recent list of "Things You Shouldn't Do On The Enterprise-D" has gotten quite a few emails from friends saying that their gut is effectively busted.

[nathan]

uuugg. No way we can let Rosie win. Does she have to write like she is passing notes in 8th grade?

I wish they didn't make you register to vote. I think you would get more votes Wil

[Rikki]

I actually did vote for you, back before there wasn't more than 300 votes for anyone, and Ross Mathews was in the lead.

And here, all this time, I thought you knew you'd been nominated, and remained silent. I thought that was pretty classy.
Hmm.

There are 3 celebrity blogs I visit daily. All three have been nominated. Whichever one wins, I will be excited for. This is one of them, obviously.

Maybe Rosie is in the lead because she mentioned it on The View. Maybe it's because us "soccer moms" enjoy her video blogs, seeing her as a normal woman without makeup and hair blown. But, I know it isn't from insulting other bloggers.

Incidentally, the duck excerpt you posted was an answer to a question from a fan. About feeding baby ducks.

Anyhoodle. I still love you lots. I guess in the back of my head, I just pictured that the celebs I enjoy think on similar lines as I do, and therefore, must get along. Not alot of logic there, I know.
Makes me a little sad, regardless.

[Severian]

You got my vote for celebrity blog but why aren't you in the Best Geek Blog? Maybe you're buried in there somwhere... well David Hewitt's geek blog looks pretty good... see what you started?

[Bog]

I swear t'gh0d, reading those blogs of Ms. O'Donnel's put me so firmly in mind of Atlas Shrugged I'm actually slipping into shock.

When even a loon like Ayn Rand starts resembling reality, it's definatley time for the mental floss. I hope you win this one, Wil. For your sake - and for all our sakes.

[Rikki]

He was nominated under geek blog, too, and best blog of all time, I think. Those who make the rules decided that celebrities only get to be entered in the celebrity bloggers category, to give the "little people" a shot at winning.

[1BigBank]

Bro, I read the Blue light Special, and it takes me way back. I had most of the Star Wars stuff you had including the Millenium Falcon, but unfortunately I discovered lighter fluid, matches and firecrackers so most of it is land fill now. I did respect the Falcon though and I think my brother stole that from my folks house for his son. I'm cool with it though.
Did you ever get the Falcon like you wanted? Your story didn't say if you did or not.
I'll vote for you bro, I dig your page even though I don't read many blogs, and I'm no fan of Rosie. I think Rikki was right with his/her post of Rosie putting it out on The View that she's nominated is the reason why her chip stack is bigger than yours, but what are you gonna do?
Lastly, I think you're a pretty good writer even though I haven't read much of your writing. One question though. Have you ever tried any type of creative writing such as short stories, novels, or scripts and such? Just curious.

Anyway be good bro, maybe seeya at the tables,

Mark.

[karenls]

I heard about it weeks ago and went straight there DID vote for you. Unless the weather is making me nervous, your site is my first surfing appointment EVERY DAY, and depending on how home/chairbound I am, I check back during the day, and before sleep at night. I hope your numbers climb, climb, climb. k t w in PGH, PA.

[canadian lemming]

I work in the closed- captioning department of a Canadian television network. My co-workers and I have had long and painful discussions about grammar, and spelling, and the subtle differences between using them to convey clarity, meaning, and the rhythm of speech. Things have been thrown at people in the course of discussions about commas. Sharp things. Pointy things.

I've got too damn many passwords and usernames to remember already, but I've just signed up for a TypeKey account and a Bloggers' Choice Awards account just so I can vote against Rosie's blog. Yes I have.

More power to ya.
("ya" = n. Informal: "you")

[cybele]

Blogger Choice is run by Pay-Per-Post. I'm not sure what they're doing with all those registrations, but when I signed up to vote for my buddies and then thought better of it, they said that it was "impossible" to delete a voting account once it'd been created ... only deactivate any subsequent voting.

[Lew]

Consider it done!
Lew

[heatherr]

Wil,

I have been reading your blog for years and have enjoyed your family and everyday life stories you write about so much! They show us the important things in life.

That said I am a reader of both yours and Rosie's blog. I'm kind of shocked you feel the need to suggest, because you feel your writing style is correct and or better than hers, that it is crazy she has more votes than you.

She speaks out on a lot of topics that are current world needs to speak out about. Quite frankly I don't see you bringing any of these issues to the forefront.

You do realize that these so called celebrity feuds you metioned are fed to the general population by mainstream media to sell more papers and increase veiwership = money. Not to mention bring your attention away from real news stories. Terror, Terror, Terror, Celebrity, Celebrity, Celebrity! That is what they are selling.

I sort of feel you have the same tone against her that people have against Wil Wheaton as Wesley Crusher. How could he have more votes than me?!
How could Rosie have more votes than me?!

I actually could carless about this award and haven't voted and don't care who wins.

I come to read both of your blogs because I enjoy them, but more so it makes both of you real people with with families and feelings, that us "regular" people can relate to. I just didn't think you would stoop the way you just did.

Heather

[Keith L. Dick]

I voted the first time I saw this on Fark or digg, don't remember which it was on. :)

[stargazer]

Voted! You are such a great story teller, Wil, and proper grammar being one of my biggest pet peeves, I hope you blow Rosie out of the water :)

[Heather Harper]

Wil's comments are not that serious. I think they are playfully humorous. With Rosie's sense of humor, she would probably think so, too.

-The other Heather

[MrSpock]

You may not have feuds, but you have minions. Monkey minions. The worst kind. Oh and yeah, your blog kicks Rosie's blog's ass any day.

[SantaFlash]

I voted as well, although it is a slight pain to register. Ah, such is the price for supporting someone cooler (no stretch there) than Rosie...err more cool? I hate grammer.

Um, hey...I'm a pessimist. Although I usually do this for the ladies (grins)...if you actually win, I'll send you an Iced Mocha. My treat*. :)

*Offer subject to change without notice. Cannot be combined with other discounts or promotions. Additional Terms and Conditions may apply.

[justgreg]

You totally own those other blogs (ahem Rosie) You got my vote!

[MJ]

Dude,
I totally voted for you weeks ago. And I am a soccer mom (and don't watch the view, don't get me started on the catty crap, she totally dissed Elizabeth). Anywho, I voted for you 'cause I didn't have a stupid tweener crush on Rosie when I was twelve. Any guesses as to who the crush was on? Ahem, moving right along...
So I voted for you...

[phraktyl]

Done.

Both because you deserve it, and because Rosie bothers the hell out of me.

[CosmicDog]

Yeah Wil, I voted for you a couple months ago. At that time, you were #1 and I had to choose between you and Neil Gaiman. I figured that Neil has enough awards, so I voted for you. I did, however, vote for Neil for Hottest Daddy Blogger, whatever that means.