the perfect plan

I've been a baseball fan my entire life. I've been known to keep score at games, carry the binoculars, listen to the radio, and manage the game from the stands. I've been known to play fantasy baseball (and win my league all the time, because it's all about using math to get solid players in trades for over valued marquee players) and I've been known to drop everything when a friend says, "Hey, I have an extra ticket to the game tonight, can you be ready to leave in twenty minutes?"

However, my love affair with baseball has diminished over the last decade.

I guess the steroid abuse, the strike, and Scott Boras have driven me away from baseball as much as the increased responsibilities which have made my free time more valuable and limited. I still care about the game, though, and I still watch games a few times a month (down from a record high of several times a week, keeping score and referring to the Baseball Prospectus between innings).

I know a lot of other once-faithful fans who are as disillusioned with baseball as I am, but I have this great idea (which has nothing at all to do with me being a Dodger fan, I swear, really,) to restore our faith in the game: for the rest of the season, whenever Barry* comes to the plate, every single team in Major League Baseball pitches around him, regardless of the game situation. When he is finally forced out of the game for being a lying sack of shit and a cheater, Hank Aaron's record finally falls to someone with class who earned the title.

It's the perfect plan. Bulletproof, really. [mustache twirl]

Comments

[Pat G]

IMNSHO, Bonds has been a jerk since starting out with the Pirates in the mid 80s. That's why I wished he didn't end up with the record, not because of steroids.

And Bug Selig is only the latest in a long line of commissioners that had the interest of the owners, and not the game of baseball, in mind. We will never get another purely independent commissioner again.

[m_faust]

You know, I know this isn't really analogous, but the very first thing I thought of was when pitchers pitched around Hank Greenberg in 1938 to keep a Jew from breaking Babe Ruth's record.

[mitch]

Maybe I'm biased living in SF, but I have never seen Bonds be anything but incredibly respectful to the sport and his teammates. He always seems very humble and soft-spoken when it comes to his accomplishments.

I realize this is completely counter to everyone else's beliefs, but I'd like to see one link or video where Bonds is being rude or a jerk.

Yes, he may have taken steroids a few years ago when he saw McGuire and Sosa get all the glory for their home run chase but do you really think he is the only one?

BTW, for anyone convinced that he took steroids because his head is so much bigger than before, take a look at some young/old pictures of John Travolta or Alec Baldwin. Are they on steroids too?

[alikitty619]

I have to admit, I'm not a big baseball fan. But even though I don't care for baseball that much, I think the bullshit w/ Barry Bonds is just that.....a big steaming pile of shit. I like your idea and I agree that he should be pitched around (or beaned) just so he can't get the record.

[Tokens Only]

I love that people say you can't "prove" Bonds* took anything. You're right. He ate his green vegetables and became suddenly gigantic. No, Bonds is not the only one to take steroids. But he's the only one gunning for a record that was honestly earned by a true ambassador for the sport. We need to START by blocking Bonds, and work our way down to stopping everyone else.

[grrbear]

I am reminded of the great Chris Rock:

"It'll be all right if you just say you did it. It'll be all right - I got it on film! Just say you did it."

"I did it. Is it all right?"

"Nah, it ain't all right!"

At this point, Bonds can't win. Despite living in a country that still operates on the 'innocent until proven guilty' principle, the majority of Americans believe that he is guilty, and furthermore, that he should be punished severely. Why is it easier to convince people that Bonds is more harmful to the game of baseball than Dick Cheney is to the United States of America? Is it because Barry's had a contentious relationship with the press his whole career? Is it because he's black?

It is very possible that Barry Bonds has used steroids, or some performance enhancing drug, to increase his muscle mass. Let me throw some names at you:
Ken Caminiti - steroid user, career ended at age 38, died at 41.
Rafael Palmeiro - failed drug test, career ended at age 39.
Jason Giambi - steroid user, career nearly ended at 33; since he stopped using, he's struggled to stay healthy and play well.
Sammy Sosa - suspected steroid user, career essentially done at 36 (hit .221 and .239 his last two seasons).

The common thread here is that steroid users do not typically last into their forties, and as we've seen with athletes in other sports, they don't tend to live very long either. The list of pro wrestlers who've died before the age of 45 is long and depressing. And yet here we have Barry Bonds, probably the most scrutinized and hounded athlete on the planet, still playing at 43. Yeah, he doesn't play every day, but find me a 43 year old ballplayer who does. This season he's hit a home run every 12.7 at-bats, which over a full season would put him at 45-50 dingers. Of course, Bonds rarely sees a strike these days - hasn't for several years now - so it's hard to determine how many more home runs he would have hit if pitchers weren't so afraid of him. But he's doing this - hitting as well as anybody in the league - despite having a mountain of pressure placed on his shoulders, despite enduring constant criticism and second-guessing, despite watching most of the other sluggers of his generation getting a free pass from the media.

I'm cheering for Barry Bonds because I still believe a person is innocent until proven guilty. I'm cheering for Barry Bonds because with or without steroids, he's the greatest player since Willie Mays, and he deserves our respect. I'm cheering for Barry Bonds because he's a fellow human being trying to accomplish a great feat.

Plus I'm a contrarian SOB by nature, so that explains a lot, too.

[yankee17]

I wholeheartedly agree. Barry should have been plunked with a fastball in the head his first at bat of the spring.

[Neil M.]

Man, the hockey commissioner sucks, too. What's up with that?

I started watching baseball again this year for the first time since 1998. Re Bonds: don't care. As somebody else said, Alex Rodriguez* will break Bonds' record before he's 40.

SP

[Piper]

Disclaimer, I'm from SF Bay area. However, why is Bonds the only poster child for roids? Just because he is the best at what he does, just yesterday, frickin' Neifi Perez was banned for 80 games for being caught for the 3rd time testing positive for a banned substance. How many pitchers took roids? You can't tell me that Roger Clemens, power pitcher, is still throwing hard without some help.
BTW, I think he did some, but I also think that all of the players from Aaron's era were on greenies, another kind of PED. Still like your blog :)

[rhinocero]

This is a horrible plan. If Bonds doesn't break the record this year he'll play again next year, and probably for a few more. And the Giants will continue to pay him ridiculous amounts of money. And suck. And I really don't want that.

[Myshtuff]

HAHA. Coincidentley, me and my brother were talking about this a while ago. We were saying that they should just keep throwing balls or go around him. Or hit him. Good times.