early morning conversations with my brain

Right around five this morning, some animals decided to throw a screaming, raging, howling party in my backyard . . . with serious emphasis on the screaming and howling.

My dogs must have thought it was a great party, because they both joined in the howling. For maximum fun, they added some of their own barking and yelping, so I would wake up, see what I was missing, and let them run out there to join in the fun.

Yeah. That wasn't going to happen, so I got up, calmed them down, and hopped back into my nice warm bed to sleep for another three hours.

Yeah. That wasn't going to happen either. As soon as my head hit my pillow, I had the following conversation:

My brain: Hey, are we awake?

Me: We were, but now we're going back to sleep.

My brain: Dude! We're totally awake! Awesome! Weee!

Me: Quiet, you. I'm going back to sleep.

My brain: Okay, but before you go back to sleep, listen to me for a minute. While you were sleeping, I totally came up with this idea for the manga script you're supposed to be writing.

Me: I'm very proud of you. Let's talk about it in a few hours. After I wake up for real.

My brain: But it's so cool! Okay, here's what happens . . .

Me: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

My brain: It's due in 11 days, dude. I think you should just get up and start writing.

Me: It's . . . [look at the clock] 5:13 in the morning, dude! It's still dark.

My brain: Okay. If you really want to sleep, go ahead. I'll be here when you wake up.

Me: Thank you.

30 seconds later . . .

My brain: '"I'm a cowboy! On a steel horse I ride! I'm wanted (wanted!) Dead or alive! Bow wow wow woooowwwwww."

Me: What. Are. You. Doing.

My brain: I sing to myself when I can't sleep.

Me: But . . . Bon Jovi? Really?

My brain: Hey, maybe you should play less Rock Band.

Me: I hate you.

My brain: As long as you're awake, why don't you get out of bed and write down this awesome story idea I have? It'll be fun!

Me: I'm going to kill you with so much Arrogant Bastard tonight.

My brain: Yay! Everyone wins!

I got out of bed. The house was cold and dark, and my Macbook's screen hurt my eyes when I woke it up, but I sat down at the dining room table, and worked on my script for the next four hours.

This is how I know I'm a writer.

Comments

[dake]

speaking of the WGA, it looks like Dave Letterman is helping to break the AMPTPTDSWEPOEIRU/whatever by negotiating directly with the WGA, and Leno and Conan are going back to work, joining Last Call with Carson Sellout (Seriously! The first thing I thought when I heard that he was going back on the air was, "Wasn't he cancelled like 5 years ago?") in sticking it to the writers... Boycott the Tonight Show!!!!

[amityisland]

I used to get that feeling whenever I had a paper to write in high school or college. Always did my best work from 6-10am - I blame my Dad...he get's up at 3:30am just to RUN before work (sheesh).

"Having said that, if a job came my way that was covered by WGA, I certainly wouldn't take it, because that would be scabbing, and scabs should be boiled in oil and forced to watch The View"

Now that's cruel, Wil.

[DavePress]

WEIRD. My brain did that to me too this morning, and I woke up and wrote for an hour about the Buffalo Bills souring loss on Sunday eliminating them from playoff contention.

And also tried to find my wool cross country skier winter cap because the high today was 26.

[merindab]

I totally understand this! I had that the other night when I was going brushing my teeth and about to go to bed.

brain: okay so my name is Pisces...
me: great can we right this down in the morning, I'm tired?
brain:and then this happens...

so I spent the next hour writing stuff by longhand....

[Spamelot]

Very inspirational! I'm jealous!

[1BigBank]

OK, so when my brain deprives me of sleep I pull a Homer and threaten to stab it with a Q-Tip. My Brain promptly shuts up and leaves me alone.

Try it, it works.

Be good homeskill Wil.

Mark.

[Louffi]

I totally loved reading this and I even more love it that I Am Not Alone.
Great :)

[vincentsmommy]

At least you have something cool like Bon Jovi running through your head when you wake up at odd hours. Well, too me Bon Jovi's cool. Because, when you have a sixteen-month-old baby running around the house, you sometimes end up waking up to the theme songs of "Franklin", "The Wonder Pets", or "The Backyardigans" stuck in your head! That's so NOT cool at five in the morning. What's worse, there's usually nothing creative happening to cover up the sound, either! Yikes!

[kristinalead]

No sympathy from me, as I get up at 5 for work every day...

I saw Bon Jovi live on Saturday night in Vancouver and I totally couldn't sleep afterwards cause "Dead or Alive" was spinning through my head all night and into the early morning - what is it about that song?

On a totally fucked up note, have you seen this ad for warcraft.com? Is nothing sacred anymore? *insert sounds of disgust here*

[Simply Caitlin]

You know I love you, Wil...but...I. Hate. Manga.

I work in a bookstore and the kids are obsessed beyond ALL recognition. Some don't even have a mere 5 paragraphs in them but parents don't care because the kids are reading. But they're reading crap. Good luck on yours, I know you don't write crap so I'll give you a little bit of leniancy..but. Jeeze.

Oh and I love your Brain, too :)

[Jon C]

Heh, while I'm not a writer, often this happens to me with my D&D items, right as I'm falling asleep my brain will go, "Hey Jon, yknow what would make a cool campaign?" and "I realize you don't actually run campaigns anymore Jon, but you know what would be a good one if you did?"

Usually happens on nights where I've got an early meeting the next morning. Fun.

[oregonchick]

Even if you ever doubt that you are a writer, it sounds like your Brain is absolutely certain that it is a writer.

Ugh. I'm watching Clash of the Choirs (I've been in choirs most of my life and thought it would be fun. Now I'm not sure). Michael Bolton's choir is singing Living on a Prayer. I'd take my own brain singing Dead or Alive any day over this!

Perhaps, Wil, your singing creative brain could come up with a solution to the WGA impasse, so that good (or at least relatively better) programming will be available in the new year?

[weather89]

random songs always run through my head at random hours, last night was Christmas carols, courtesy of the attempt to stay warm and awake at 3:30 after the fire alarm in the dorm went off, causing my friends and I to sing Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer as loudly as we could.

When the alarm finally shut up (around 5, I think, they were working on it all night - it went off again at 7:30), I couldn't get my brain to shut up, chemistry and Christmas carols.

Needless to say, my final exam today was fun after a grand total of three hours of sleep.

Good luck with the fight with your brain.

[Cassandra St Thomas]

At least your muse is working Wil. The local Kookaburra family decided to give little Kooka his/her training wheels this morning right outside my window. No muse or 'musement to be drived from 15 minutes of solid maniacal Laughing kookaburras living up to their name. Except maybe watching Junior learning to balance with short stubby wings and tail, on our washing/drying line. Aaaaaww, for about a minute ...

[Roxanne]

your brain is an awesome place to hang !

[JenBreier]

I'm envious of you (and the others who posted here) that your brain wants you to do something productive when it doesn't want to go back to sleep.
My brain just starts worrying about all sorts of things - at 3am. Or it informs me that it is going on vacation while I'm at work. And lately, it has been singing that Wham! Christmas song.
If only my brain kept me awake to do something productive and sang songs that were at least okay.

[Onaree]

I used to have a similar problem with my brain. However, mine was always waking me up going over what bills were due, when the checks would be back to the bank if I sent it out on such and such date, etc. This would go on for hours. Thankfully, I put an end to that. Lexapro works wonders. *smile*

[AT]

Best post in awhile. Points for the Bon Jovi reference.

[Scott_the_Survivor]

VERY funny! Now I'm gonna have that song stuck in my head all day! I know the drive to write, too!

[SarahD]

...and that is why I can't watch Battlestar Galactica after 10 pm, because my brain won't. shut. UP. about it. I forgot about this when Razor came on, and for hours it was blahblahCylonsblahblahblah Apollo blahblah Starbuck blahblahblah.... I have never threatened it with drunkenness before, however, so I must try that.

[Nadia]

"This is how I know I'm a writer."

And a damn good one too.

[JenBreier]

Please excuse the O/T. A friend just sent this to me to help my work day go by with some humor. I thought Wil and those who frequent his blog may enjoy this look at various types of geeks:
http://www.yourpics2008.com/geeks.html

[Jabbertrack]

If I play too much Rock Band I get this thing where if I wake up in the middle of the night I have this vision of the goddamn note charts and I can't get them out of my head. They could be sync'd to the rain outside... my dog snoring... anything. But ya... my brain is basically telling me that I need to stop playing that damn game so much.

Screw you brain... DO YOU HATE FUN?!

[jdevanspa]

Wil,

I have to curse you. My son woke up this morning (20 months old) around 5. So I got him back into bed and couldn't go back to sleep. Was thinking I could go work on a story. But no, I have to go to work in a little bit, I should go back to sleep. And then what pops into my head?

"wanted, wanted, dead or alive"

Yep, only I get mine as I'm falling asleep.

Brain, "Steve, you still awake, I've got this wicked line for a story..."

"Wait, don't tell me, I've gotta get to sleep. Work is early tomorrow."

"No, really, wicked line, here it is..."

"DON'T!"

The brain says the line. "No, wait, here, this is better," the brain rewrites on the fly.

"Damn, that is good," I say, turning on the light, grabbing paper and pen and scribbling it down. "Any more?"

"Sure," dictates out a paragraph.

"Uh hunh, that's pretty good. That replaces 500 words of waffling with 35 words of concise tight prose. Any more?"

"Nah, that's it. I guess."

"Good," I say and turn off the light, thank the Muses and start back to sleep.

"Oh, hey, remember when I said I didn't have any more. Uh, yeah, I lied. Here's this next cool part."

And so it goes for about a half hour. Light on, scribble, light off, light back on, scribble, rinse, repeat.