i don't want to go on the cart

I feel happy! I feel happy!

In all seriousness, I'm recovering at exactly the right pace, according to people who keep score on this sort of thing.

Warning: this is about to get gross.

I'm off all the meds, except for some stupid steroid for swelling that makes me really fucking irritable and regular Tylenol for this very minor headache that I guess is also pretty normal, once you've had a bunch of stuff the size of a Weighted Companion Cube yanked out of your head, and a "major septoplasty". Oh! and the most awesome thing? The stuff that looks like chicken liver that comes out of my nose about four times a day.

My doctor says I have some kind of post-surgical hypertension, which is why I can't do a damn thing other than sit here and watch movies for another three or four days, so I'm starting to get <i>really</i> bored and antsy. And irritable. Goddamn am I irritable. So don't fuck with me, or I'll shoot chicken liver at you from my nose gun.

Oh! You know what I learned a whole bunch about on TV yesterday? Trains during wartime and secret underground Cold War tunnels. Exactly WTF I'm going to do with this knowledge, I don't know, so I'm looking forward to removing it from my brain with Guinness once I allowed to drink alcohol again . . . in three goddamn miserable weeks, because alcohol makes me bleed, which remains bad.

Did I mention that I'm bored and irritable? Because boy, howdy.

However, I can smell things again. I can taste things again. I can sleep through the night without snoring, and I don't regret having this surgery for a single moment. Sincerely, I don't. And my doctor is some kind of superhero, who I think came from space and the future to carve a 4x5cm chunk of polyp-covered Horta from just one of my sinus cavities. There's more, but I think I've been gross enough for one day.

Thank you, everyone, for all your get well wishes, here and at Fark. That was really, really, cool. I totally broke the "just sit here and continue to do a bunch of fucking nothing" rule during breakfast this morning so I could check up on e-mails and stuff.

I better go back to the couch. My couch groove is starting to lose its shape. Have a nice weekend, everyone.

Comments

[Starr01]

Monty Python!?
Glad your'e happy.

[logicalnoise]

oh Wil, j00 so krazay.

[Mike Sperry]

Yes, some of those cold meds can be very fun. ;)

[Madrigorne]

That's not my nose...its a carrot...

[Gaerin]

Thoughts transmissions... "Life of Brian" I said. Fucos will be the English word of 2008.

[Wintermute]

She turned me into a newt...

[ennKay]

i'll give you ninepence if you promise not to be stone dead in a moment.

[kaellinn18]

Ok, that is just freaky. There was a Holy Grail skit (the Anarchosyndicalist Commune, if you must know) playing on my iTunes when I brought up this post.

[Patrick G]

Funny you should mention this movie Wil I was just introducing my girlfriend to it the other day. I'm sure you're probably laughing as much or more than I was. Enjoy.

Obligatory quote:
"One, two, five!"

[Roosterfeet]

Try this
http://armorgames.com/play/269/the-last-stand

It will make you fell better for half an hour. Found that on www.rockpapershotgun.com

[Lytspeed]

"You're not fooling anyone, you know."

Had to be said.

Glad you're feeling better, Wil.

[jhankins]

One really weird thing that happened after my septoplasty and sinus scraping... I woke up in the middle of the night after all the chicken livers had gone away... and I heard a stranger breathing in my bed!

It was my own damn nose, but the pitch of my own breathing changed enough to scare the shit out of me when I first heard it.

[Aaron Dunlap]

Speaking of sinus problems, I am just now eating some sweet and sour chicken left over from what I cooked last night, and after a mouthful I felt a lone piece of rice going up my throat instead of down with its buddies. I feel it now, chilling out near my sinus area. It's not pleasant.

Anyway, since I heard about the sinus surgery one thing I've been wondering about but didn't want to ask until it was clear you weren't going to die horribly is if there was ever any talk about your voice being affected as an effect. If I were a professional voice actor person I might consider getting an insurance policy on my heavenly voice before being cut open -- like Mary Heart's legs.

Or so they say.

[Aaron Dunlap]

Oh and I'm glad you didn't die horribly. Should have mentioned that before.

[head.fairy]

There I was thinking a horta was something medical... I'm not as think as you geek I am.

PS. Madrigorne - I think you'll find it's a parsnip... ;)

[leathej1]

No you're not - you'll be stone dead in a minute.

Now the question everyone is thinking... how does it taste?

[Sarah]

So I wanted to thank you for making me laugh a lot. Seriously, I just giggled a ton at the chicken liver nose gun, even if it's completely gross. I truly appreciate every moment I've been able to laugh in the past 24 hours, so thank you.

-an NIU student

(I hope you feel better, though, because even though it made me laugh -- uh, ew. And it sounds painful. <3)

[Sarah]

So I wanted to thank you for making me laugh a lot. Seriously, I just giggled a ton at the chicken liver nose gun, even if it's completely gross. I truly appreciate every moment I've been able to laugh in the past 24 hours, so thank you.

-an NIU student

(I hope you feel better, though, because even though it made me laugh -- uh, ew. And it sounds painful. <3)

[Roosterfeet]

Tyron?

[BZArcher]

Glad you're doing better!

However, I'm calling a mild "Bullshit!" on you.

You're a writer, Wil. I can't believe that you'd get 3 hours worth of info about "Secret trains!" and not have it spark a story idea -somewhere- in your head. :D

[Star Trek Kitty]

Although I shouldnt encourage you to do things you have been told not to do but if your healing up as planned and udating this and twitter isnt effecting you then why should you stop doing something you enjoy.

Besides sitting on the couch watching tv (as much fun as it is) if your not used to doing it can be more stressful than stuff you usually do.

Although saying that you should still take it easy we dont want you getting worse because that would be like really bad.

Rest up and get well soon Wil.

[GrammaLolly]

I will never be able to look at a chicken liver again without thinking of you! Thank God I've never been a fan of eating them! Take care, get well soon.

[Peasweet]

You rock, Wil. My husband, a geek, found your blog and sent it to me, a sorta geek, and now we are both hooked. I've had the surgery you are talking about - and that same night hosted a boxing party at our house. Musta been the drugs....hope you get better fast!

[Wayne Zachary]

Wow, well I'm not gonna eat for the next few hours! JK LOL. Sorry to hear your still jacked up . Drops a Dark Side of the Moon hat in to a pool of Chicken Liver blood next to the train tracks .

[S.E. Dogaru]

dude, high five!