geek vs. itunes

In the spirit of Cat vs. Monkey . . .

Me: iTunes, play whatever you want on random.

iTunes: Cool! Have some Isaac Hayes, followed by Yes!

Me: Maybe we need to talk about this...

iTunes: Hey, jerk, it was in YOUR library. Don't blame me for getting creative.

Me: Let's never fight again.

iTunes: Aww, I feel bad. Here, have Zeppelin, then Wilco, and now Tool. Are we cool?

Me: Yeah, we're cool. Stop being so clingy. Sheesh.

iTunes: Clingy?! What do you mean? I'm not clingy! Here, have some back to back Skynyrd! See? I'm cool! I'm cool! Let's hang out!

Me: Uh . . .

iTunes: Now have some Copeland!

Me: Copeland? After Skynyrd?

iTunes: Yep. Now enjoy some Sade.

Me: *blinks*

iTunes: My, my, we're really learning at lot about you today, aren't we?

Me: Hey! Anne put that in there.

iTunes: Oh, so you're sharing me with someone else? Maybe she wants to hear . . . Gary Numan's Cars?

Me: Actually, she put that in there, too.

iTunes: Well what about Uncle Tupelo? Is that you? Or is our whole relationship based on a lie?

Me: No, that was me. You're starting to freak me out.

iTunes: Here, enjoy something soothing called Velvet Piano. What the hell is this? Did you download this from one of those retroblogs you read?

Me: How did you know about that?

iTunes: the SDK isn't just for programmers, you know.

Me: Okay, I think it's time for a playlist.

iTunes: No! No! Here's Nine Inch Nails! You just bought that! You like Nine Inch Nails! And now Boingo! doesn't it make you happy? Doesn't it remind you of those halcyon days of youth?

Me: Now you're just embarrassing yourself. I think we're going to spend a little time away from each other.

iTunes: Wait!

Me: It's not you, iTunes. It's me.

iTunes: You're going to listen to the Juno CD in the car, aren't you?! I knew it!

Me: Okay, we need to stop.

iTunes: Why?

Me: The joke is wearing thin. This isn't funny any more.

iTunes: I love you.

Me: *Force Quits iTunes*

Comments

[VT]

Musical whiplash FTW!

[FEJ]

You were cracking me up with your twitter updates

[starshine_diva]

ROFL!

Oddly enough, I have a similar experience with my (non-Apple) MP3 player almost every time I use it.

[Mister Groonk]

i have that same battle with Little Slugger(my iPod).

[MJBUtah]

LOL...The last three times my boss walked in my office, my computer was playing Barry Manilow, then Air Supply, then Bon Jovi...I think my RealPlayer is trying to embarass me. (I swear I don't know WHERE those came from).

[heatherr]

Too funny Wil! Your person/inanimate object dialog is the best!

[Mitchell Laurren-Ring]

That shuffle awkwardly mashes together dissimilar songs is annoying but expected.

Now when it puts together two songs that belong together even though you never knew it, that's when I'm taken aback.

Or, for the truly freaky moment, when it plays two songs which are marginally related by artist, theme, lyric or what have you.

[angie k]

LOL. You vs. iTunes is funny. And THANK YOU for linking to that post from Elizabeth Bear! Now I'm not only going to follow her blog but I'm carefully looking for hidden cameras because I think she's spying on me -- I've had that EXACT (I mean exact, right down to the wandering and crying because they can't find me when I'm calling to them from the bedroom and the morning pestering.) exchange with my cats. Scary. I cried laughing. :)

Cheers!

[Amber J]

That sounds about like my coworker's playlist yesterday... it went from Tool, to the Mermen, to Devotchka, The Doors, Tom Petty, suddenly back to Tool, and then Heart (which was put in on his account as a joke, when we got our Barracuda firewall in...)...

[esmerel]

No! No! Here's Nine Inch Nails! You just bought that! You like Nine Inch Nails!

Now I'm having Labyrinth flashbacks, with iTunes as the old lady with the bear. Yes yes you like your iTunes...

[SandieK]

That sounds strangely like the converations I have with my music players when I set them on random. Loreena McKennit followed by Five For Fighting, two Teisto tracks, Celtic Woman, Seasons of Love, Our Lady Peace, Bach, and the Worst Pies in London complete my most recent playlist.
None of which fit my mood.

Though I am going to sing Worst Pies next time they make me work a snackbar shift.

[Justin Yost]

I laughed because that sounds about how it goes when I put iTunes on random.

[Dave Bullock]

You're channeling Kurtzweil in this post.

[stereoroid]

Hey, what's wrong with Yes?! You haven't lived until you've tried dancing to their version of Simon & Garfunkel's "America"...

[Coyote Seven]

Don't read my blog! It's only sometimes retro. Well ok I guess if I'm reading your blog then I can't tell you not to read mine. Ah...

Hey, you need more Flogging Molly on your iPod! Yeah, that's right.

[Celtic Mama]

My dialog is just about the same! Only instead of Sade it's Hilary Duff. And it was added by my husband. Sad! When Hilary is followed by Floyd, I think the universe is going to explode. There's no way those 2 should ever be near each other. I'll take my Floyd, Rush, and Zeppelin and be perfectly happy.

[Fred]

That was the funniest shit I've read from you in a long, long time.

[elizabeth bear]

I have a theory that WinAmp is psychic. And no matter how many times I tell myself that really it's just situational relevance, not actual divination--STILL CREEPY.

[utopia2064]

Hey Wil, I'm assuming the new NIN you bought was Ghosts I-IV. What do you think of the new distribution method?

[jslicer]

At least iTunes was good enough to get the Led out.

[OhBlahDah]

Juno CD in the car?! Me, too. Actually, my daughter is obsessed by the Moldy Peaches and the last few tracks.

However, I find myself singing to myself . . ."I am a vampire. I am a vampire. I am a vampire. I have lost my fangs."

[photosinensis]

Ah, the iTunes shuffle. There's generally a reason I don't let iTunes do the music choices for me: I know there's some stuff in here that I really don't want to hear, but I put it in back when I thought it was good.

What can I say, my iTunes collection is a 5 year old mess of music I've collected over the majority of my life.

[R]

nice! This was definitely good for some lolz...that chuckle of recognition.

[Miss Ali]

lol! Oh yeah. I, for my part, am a serious music hoarder. I never put Winamp on shuffle, because Snoop Dogg and Les Miserable never go together.

[jdmack]

So, was it Yes West or Yes East?

Personally, the more incongruous the sequence, the happier I am with shuffle mode. Give me John Zorn's Naked City, followed by The 5th Dimension, followed by The Residents, followed by The Rutles, and I'm a happy boy!