okay, i'll admit it. i have a problem.

This was originally going to be about how the Internet has made me stupid and lazy. I was going to offer as an example my decision to sit here in the living room and search the 'tubes for several minutes to see how many issues are included in the first Fell trade paperback instead of just walking into the other room, taking it off the shelf, and opening up the damn thing to see for myself . . . but it, uh, went another direction as I was writing it.

Consider this a warning, but feel free to ignore it.

I don't read many comics in single issue format anymore. Back in the salad days, I had a habit that would shock and horrify -- or entice and thrill -- most people. You know how once a year or so the local news shoves some poor reporter into a disgusting house where some crazy cat lady didn't throw a single thing away for a decade? You know how there's always a tower of newspapers that go back to the Nixon years in that place? Replace the papers with comics and the cat filth with polyhedral dice and you've got a damn close approximation of my house.

Well, before Anne came along and straightened all of that shit out. One of the casualties of growing up and getting responsible was the weekly trip to the comic shop where I'd trade piles of shiny gold rocks for the likes of Batman, X-men, Grendel, Sandman, whatever Alan Moore was doing, and too many "gotta have this because it crosses over into this other thing I like" issues to count.

In fact, from about 1996 until last year, I hardly read any comics at all. I'd pick up a few trades here and there, but I mostly stayed straight and sober.

Man, have I fallen off the wagon.

Hard.

It all started with a few trades of Transmetropolitan and Fables. That snowballed into other trades for the books I mentioned in this old Geek in Review about great graphic novels you may have missed, and before I knew it, I was picking up absolute editions of various things I already owned in single issue and TPB format. Because, you know, I needed to have them.

I was teetering on the precipice of a weekly habit when TokyoPop sent me out to different comic shops to promote the Star Trek manga.

Weekly.

Like, once a week I'd go to a different shop where I could see what new stuff had come out that week.

And buy it.

To have.

I mostly got trades of books I'd wanted to get caught up on, like Y: the Last Man and Blue Beetle, but I also found myself leaning toward single issue books again.

Like Batman.

It's important to point out that I am the biggest Batman geek on the planet. I love Batman more than anything else in comics. I have so many Batman shirts, my wife frequently says, "Why do you have so many Batman shirts?" I have a LEGO Batman on my keychain. I plotted to blow up the world when the Batman movies were all such shit (World, you can thank Batman Begins for saving you. A fruit basket would be a nice gesture.)

But still, I didn't want to get sucked back into reading Batman, Detective, Robin, Dark Knight, and Batman We Really Don't Have A Reason To Put Out This Book But We're Going To Anyway Because It's Batman And Batman Geeks Like Wheaton Will Buy It. Partly this was due to financial considerations, but mostly it's because I just don't have the time.

I've been doing very well, to be honest. Because there's such a huge backlog of trade paperbacks for me to get through (I'm still working through Fables, Y: the Last Man, and a few others I'm too embarrassed to admit right now) I've only bought two titles in single-issue format: Batman (GODDAMN YOU GRANT MORISSON WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO AWESOME?!) and Doktor Sleepless (GODDAMMIT WARREN STOP IT JUST STOP IT.)

Then I went to Wizard World with Matt Fraction. Matt and I had a conversation about this very issue, and Matt said, "You know, I buy a lot of books weekly because it's professional courtesy. I never know when I'm going to run into [huge list of names that made me fall down]."

Now, I'm no Matt Fraction (BUT I'M READING FUCKING CASANOVA IN SINGLE ISSUES NOW BECAUSE IT'S SO AWESOME GODDAMMIT MATT) but I've been bumping into more and more comic writers thanks to TokyoPop, and as I am presently working on a comic of my own (way to bury that one, Wheaton. Thanks, I try!) I may also find myself in a position to run into [smaller list of names that would make some of you fall down].

So, yesterday, I went to the shop -- on Wednesday -- planning to only pick up Casanova and Anna Mercury.

I, uh, walked out with issues 670-674 of Batman (OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU GRANT MORRISON LET'S NEVER FIGHT AGAIN), three issues of Suburban Glamour (Wow. Jamie. Seriously. This is a beautiful book), the 25th anniversary edition of Killing Joke (which I already have in like four different printings, including a Mint First Printing, Bitches) PvP (which is mostly okay because Scott Kurtz is my friend) a few other things that looked interesting to me and . . . Secret Invasion.

I know, I know. I don't even read fucking Marvel books, and I haven't paid attention to Civil War at all, but the idea of gleefully reading this miniseries all summer long, which we all just know will take some massive twist or something right around San Diego Comic-Con, was just too much for me to pass up, and after reading the first issue, I know that I chose ever so wisely.

When I was up at 12:30 this morning, sitting on the floor in my office, surrounded by the books I'd bought, I had a flashback to 10th grade, and I knew it was time to admit it:

I have a comic problem.

It's not a big deal, though. I can stop reading any time I want to, and even scale back to just a few trades every few . . . months . . . so I don't . . . go . . . to the comic shop . . . every . . . week. . .

. . .

OH MY GOD I CAN'T IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT MY COMIC BOOKS SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME.

Comments

[pistachoo]

ROFL! I love that I can picture having the same problem just by reading your description of it!

Thanks :)

Now... back to the Mt Everest of marking that awaits all schoolteachers...

[angie k]

LOL. I'm running into my own version of that. I walked out of my local neighborhood comic store yesterday with $80 in trades and single issues. (Of course that only happens once in a great while.) And I felt bad because I don't follow more comics! I used to follow single issues of Y:The Last Man and some others a few years ago, then I fell out of it. Now I'm back to my comic fix. Funny. :)

omg. You're working on a comic of your own? What? A regular running series? Or a single run trade? Or a story in part of a larger collection (like Star Trek: the Manga)? What? Rad!!

[castewar]

Pffft. You don't need help just yet. I used to work at a shop - and there was a guy - Nice guy, maybe 60ish - and he would buy single issues... then bind them.

He had a room, wall to wall shelves, filled with his own, handmade hard cover collected editions.

Once you get there, you're in trouble. Until then, head between legs, deep breaths.

[Wil]

castewar: OMG that sounds so cool.

*hangs head*

I know . . . I know . . .

[MartinCahn]

Wil, I feel your pain. I was spending so much on comics back in the 90s that my 29th birthday gift to myself was to quit buying comics cold turkey. I then sold off my entire collection so it wouldn't entice me to buy more. Bad move, since I only got 10 cents on the dollar and probably had over $1,000 worth of comics.

Thank goodness for the Internet; I've kept up pretty well over the years. In the meantime, I stick to shows like Smallville and, yes, movies like Batman Begins. I can't wait for The Dark Knight.

In the meantime, while I'm certainly not saying you should do what I did all those years ago, I wanted you to know that I get it. Comics are great, but they're also addictive.

Good luck, man.

[Jesz]

*hands you a plate of cupcakes*

Because a cupcake problem is cheaper than a comic problem, and tastier, too! Though, I have found, cupcakes AND comics make for a great combination...

[maycomb]

Wil, that was so funny, and I only understood half of it.

[Amber J]

Do I need to call A&E to have the people from Intervention come out to you?

I mean, I suppose if I do that, you could turn the tables and have them come visit me for my video game addiction...

[DavePress]

Dude, if you have a problem I have a straight up tapping the vein addiction that I tweek out if I don't buy comics once a week. I mean seriously: read my blog, I work comics into a post about baseball. Which, y'know, Matt Fraction does too.

[Pablo Defendini]

Castewar: wow. that's so full of win.

On a similar note, those Absolute editions are beautiful, aren't they?

[lauren]

Hi my name is Lauren and I am a comicaholic. Welcome to the club Wil!

[Incredible EDBeale]

Well...It could be worse, you know. You could be addicted to CNN or something.

[Steven E. McDonald]

I cycle in and out of comics reading myself, but the last blast of singles-buying had been replaced by trades.

What I've REALLY gone dorkshit with, though, are the black and white phonebooks -- the Marvel Essential editions, and the DC Showcase Presents. I just got (cheaply) ESSENTIAL ASTONISHING ANT-MAN fer chrissakes. I have SHOWCASE PRESENTS BOOSTER GOLD on the way. I've been working my way through the Fantastic Four volumes (all six) and dipping into the Amazing Spider-Man volumes (all eight, and two of three Peter Parker volumes.) I read more current stuff, too, I admit -- things like EX MACHINA and MANHUNTER and the adorable BLUE BEETLE, but I'm more gleeful over the hardcover of the Superman Dailies, which is heavy enough to stun a horse of ever I need to.

Just being able to pull those big books out and read some good old fashioned comics crack is a total pleasure. I keep forgetting how balls-out fun comics could be (and some of these things are hilarious as well; one of these days I really have to do a reading from some class Lee/Kirby dementia....

[Wil]

Oh, I don't care about missing white women or shark attacks nearly enough to become addicted to CNN.

It's the little things that make me happy.

[Audent]

Shhh... nobody tell Wil that Joss Whedon has been writing comics as well.

Oh the humanity!

[Hisham]

I've just decided to buy single issues again after many many years of not doing so, starting with DC's Final Crisis and Legion of Three Worlds.

If Wil isn't voicing Cosmic Boy in Legion of Three Worlds straight-to-DVD animated movie should they decide to produce it, I'm taking a bazooka to WB.

[SenseLess]

If you start finding 12 step pamphlets hidden in between your comics pages be careful about answering the door, it might be that intervention show...

[Alex]

I remember being so addicted to comics, I was walking miles back and forth from school because I spent all my money to buy the latest issues. And when I got a job, it only grew worse.

[kytyn]

I have so many Batman shirts, my wife frequently says, "Why do you have so many Batman shirts?"

oh my, that was funny. Like re-read it to make sure that's what it said then startle the cat while snortling at it funny.

My husband did Civil War, he'd been pretty much on the wagon for about 7 years before that. (Let's just not mention D&D/d20 supplements.) I have many, many of the Elf*Quest spin-offs, most unread because I didn't have time. And now those are being released online for free. (!)

-kytyn
Austin, TX

[Mama Gaea]

Wil, Wil, Wil.

When I met my ex-husband in 1990, he had 40 LONG BOXES of comics. He still collects single-issue comics regularly. How many long boxes do you think he has by now? He got me going on Lady Death and Witchblade. Dawn and Darkness. I currently collect Lady Death, all Whedon comics, Chaos Reigns, and got the Eternals by Gaiman. I hope you picked up those, at least.

[Mama Gaea]

Oh, that reminds me, I have a t-shirt you might want if you don't already have it. Although I did collect some autographs of some one-hit wonder hair bands on it.

20 year old Batman Tee from the first movie. It's yours if you want it. I was going to put it in a yard sale otherwise.

[dake]

Oh, I don't care about missing white women ... enough to become addicted to CNN...

Posted by: Wil

I think that's Faux News, but your point stands nevertheless...

As to your addiction, there IS a simple fix... Anne would probably be HAPPY to take care of that for ya... :)

[Dalian Moon]

The weird thing is, this could have been written by my 24 year old self, or my dad, or my ex-boyfriend, or any of my friends.

[PJDonnell]

Yeah, everyone I know seems to run into this problem, too. I've decided to go the TPB route, mostly because the funds aren't there for monthly purchases, and I can get TPBs discounted at cons. I even cleared existing bookshelves and bought new ones so I can have a sort of library.

By the way, a Batman fan? Tell me you've bought Batman: The Animated Series on dvd. Best movie or television iteration of Batman out there.

[Dave]

Wil, I feel your pain. I also recently fell off the wagon. I collected seriously in the 80's and 90's, but then I got a job that forced me to live in a remote area with no access to comic shops. It was hard. It was like rehab. It was Hell...but I recovered.

Then I moved back to civilization and Matt Wagner released Grendel: Behold the Devil (which, as an aside, is AWESOME).

DAMN YOU MATT WAGNER!!

Now I have a monthly habit that includes Grendel, any George R.R. Martin titles like Hedge Knight or Wild Cards, Detective Comics, and is soon to include Ellis' newuniversal and Captain America.

If collecting comics is wrong, I don't want to be right.