highlights from my damn geeky weekend

So my geeky weekend was totally awesome, and there were a few moments I thought I'd share. Before I get there, though, I need to clear something up: On Friday, as I was running out of the house, I said "Go see Iron Man this weekend. It is awesome. I saw a preview screening on Monday, and other than the score (which is absolute crap) the movie is damn near perfect. I think it’s the best comic book movie since Sin City, and blows Transformers and the last two X-Men movies into oblivion."

Uh. Yeah. I don't know how, but I managed to leave Batman Begins and Ghost World out of that, which is further evidence that I am a complete moron. Lots of people disagree with me about Sin City and X-Men. Those people are all wrong, of course, but my leaving out Batman Begins and Ghost World is just inexcusable. I deeply regret the error, and hang my head in shame while I carefully fold up my nerd cape. I'll be in the corner for a little bit, thinking about what I did.

Okay, now that we're done with that, allow me to share some highlights from my weekend with you:

Friday night I said to Anne, "When I finish this martini, I'm going to think it's a great idea to have another martini. It will, in fact, be a very bad idea for me to have another martini, and I'd appreciate it if you'd remind me of that fact when the time comes."

When the time came, she wasn't at the table. Oops.

Saturday morning, we unsurprisingly slept too late to get breakfast at the hotel, so we went to a supermarket and got yogurt, bananas, juice and stuff. I think we ended up having a more healthy and less expensive breakfast than we would have had at the hotel.

I wasn't nervous at all about my reading at Mysterious Galaxy, which was really weird. In fact, while we were driving there (Anne was driving, I was reading from my book because I got it into my head that it may be a good idea to try something new about 20 minutes before showtime) I said to Anne, "You know what's weird? I'm not nervous at all." It was at that very moment that I got nervous.

There were more people at Mysterious Galaxy than I was expecting, and when I walked into the store, the whole place fell silent and everyone was staring at me. You know how you walk into a room and feel like everyone was just talking about you? It was like that. I mean, they probably were, but it was still weird. It didn't do much for the nervousness.

When I started my reading, I heard words coming out of my mouth, but I didn't know what they were. I do that when I'm nervous and haven't prepared any introductory remarks. If you were there and noticed this, thank you for not booing me.

I usually read blue light special and maybe exactly what I wanted, but I thought the MG crowd would be entertained by and relate to beyond the realm of the starlight. It turns out that they liked it, so my last minute decision to change the usual program was rewarded. In the future, though, I think I'll stick with the cards, lest I get a visit from Nick Fury when I'm done.

Unrelated to this post: Time Machine is making a backup right now, and it's making my mouse jumpy. That is SO FUCKING IRRITATING.

Right. Back to business:

After I was finished reading, I took some questions. The thing about this is that nobody ever has questions when I say, "I'd be happy to entertain your questions," but when I'm signing their book, they have tons of questions, so instead of getting to tell my hilarious and charming jokes to everyone, I get to tell them to one person at a time. I must come up with some way of helping people not feel self conscious when it's Q&A time. I should also clarify that I don't mind answering questions or getting my geek on when I sign your book. In fact, I've noticed over the years that when I sign books for people, we almost always end up having some huge geek moment about movies or software or other geeky topics. I absolutely love that and hope it won't ever go away.

While I was signing books, a girl about my age walked up to the table. She extended her hand and said, "Hi, I'm Gina."

"Hi Gina," I said. "It's nice to meet you."

"I'm a blogger," she said.

"Oh? Cool!" I said. "What's your blog?"

"It's called 'Lifehacker,' and --"

It was at this point that I completely lost my shit and spent the next eleventy hundred minutes telling her how much I love Lifehacker. I think I slimed her pretty hard, but she wrote the nicest thing in the universe about me on Lifehacker today. Uh, wow. Thanks, Gina!

I also met a reader who nearly made me cry when she told me about her relationship with her stepdad, and how my books were a part of it. Stepkids: it means more than you'll ever know when you tell your stepparents how much you love them, and when that moment finally comes where you accept how much we love you back, it's the most cherished moment in our lives.

Saturday night was much more sedate and responsible than Friday night (and how lame and old am I that 3 martinis now qualifies as crazygonuts?)

Sunday morning, we got up early enough to eat breakfast in the hotel, and I wished that we hadn't. I had a waffle with berries and maple syrup, but forgot to ensure that the "maple syrup" wasn't that corn syrup bullshit that makes me sick to my stomach before I infected the entire waffle with it. I still ate about half of the waffle, though, because I was so hungry.

"I am really looking forward to eating lunch at Stone," I said to Anne, "because I'm seriously thinking about going all Karen Carpenter on this breakfast."

We eventually made our way up to Escondido, wandered around the beer garden (which is awesome and beautiful) and settled in for a nice long lunch.

It ended up being longer than I'd initially planned, because the restaurant was ridiculously busy yesterday, and we didn't get our food until about 15 minutes before I was supposed to go read. As I watched tons of people stream in with my book in their hand, I got the nervous stomach and couldn't eat. Awesome. Greg Koch, who is the co-founder of Stone and invited me, reminded me that, once people are in the beer garden, they relax and live on "beer time," which is much more laid back than real time. This actually put me at ease, which is very hard to do before I am about to perform.

Oh! Please enjoy this moment from lunch, which I sent to Twitter:   Anne: It's Jedi day! Me: What? Anne: May the Fourth be with you. Me: OMG I am so sending that to Twitter.

My reading was great. There were about 50 people there, and I felt like my introductory remarks were much better than they were at MG, probably because I spent some time really thinking about what I would say. Amazing how preparation helps me feel prepared, isn't it?

There were lots of questions when I was done, and I had a good time answering them (some marginally inappropriate answers were brought to you by Oaked Arrogant Bastard Ale.) I think everyone had a good time, and Greg said that I could come back with future books, which I intend to do as long as I can keep coming up with stuff that's worth reading.

After the reading, we had dessert, and I was finally able to enjoy a Ruination IPA. Anne drove us home in time to watch one of the funniest episodes of Family Guy I've ever seen, and I ended the night watching one of the most exciting NHL playoff games I've ever seen.

It was a fantastic weekend, and I want to thank everyone from Mysterious Galaxy (which has autographed copies of all my books, now, if you want to order them) as well as everyone from Stone who put on these events. Most importantly, though, I want to thank everyone who made the effort to come out and spend some time with me this weekend. I did my best not to suck, and I think I mostly succeeded.

Comments

[zizban]

What you wrote about step kids put a tear in my eye, since I am a step dad. I sent it to my 19 year old step daughter and said "Just sayin'". I hope she turns all sorts of colors in embarrassment.

[VT]

Wil, I blogged my version of yesterday, here.

To the woman who I promised I'd take a photo of with Wil -- I have two photos for you, but thanks to much Imperial Porter, I neglected to get your email address. See my profile for my email, and drop me a line so I can get them to you.

[GregoryHarbin]

I don't understand your second paragraph, Wil. Ghost World came out in 2001, long before Sin City (2005), and Iron Man is a much better film than Batman Begins. Why are you apologizing?

[madbadger2742]

Hey Wil! I got the article header from Lifehacker in Vienna, and when I went to check it out, I found out just how popular you really are...
http://flickr.com/photos/madbadger2742/2468549065/

Congrats on a successful weekend! And on a wife who can be conveniently absent when the waiter offers a second round. :D

[Alan]

The first Spider-man was really good too.

Iron Man > Spider-man 1?

Although having a baby makes going out the movies a logistical problem that we have not solved yet.

[Wil]

@Alan: it's about a million times better than Spiderman one, because there isn't a single performance in the film that comes anywhere close to being as horrible as Kirsten Dunst. There also isn't a single awkward "we had to put this in here because everyone's still sensitive about 9/11" moment.

There is, however, a comically stupid Burger King product placement.

[Brian]

That bit about stepkids: That made me tear up something fierce for a few minutes. I literally stopped reading and my heart wrenched out of my chest and cried.

I don't think I ever told my first stepdad how much I loved him, until he was on his deathbed, and I think he was too far gone by that point to really know. If there is an afterlife (and I like to think there is), I hope he knows how much I love him.

He came into my life once I was already a legal adult (I was 19), and we connected quickly. He was a computer geek, had been gaming on PCs since there were games to play on PCs. I like to think he'd play a human pally in WoW these days if he were still with us.

He was only in my life for five years, but he left more of a mark than I'd have ever imagined, and was more like a real father than my biological dad.

I also don't know that I'll ever be able to profess my love for my second stepdad, which makes me immensely sad. He came into the picture faster than I was ready for (although I'm not one to deny my mom happiness, by any means) and I really can't connect with the guy.

Even though it basically put my day on halt for a few minutes, thank you Wil.

Damnit, I'm crying again. I'm stopping now.

[Brian]

By saying "I also don't know that I'll ever be able to profess my love for my second stepdad", what I meant to say was "I also don't know that I'll ever be able to honestly say that I love my second stepdad".

[Craig S. Cottingham]

@wil: "I must come up with some way of helping people not feel self conscious when it's Q&A time."

I think it was Tom Brokaw I heard this about. He finished his speech/presentation/remarks, then asked "Who has the first question?" Awkward silence follows. So he says, "Okay, the answer to the first question is 'yes'. Who has the second question?" That broke the ice.

[a.real.girl]

As the girl who nearly made you cry, I should add the bridge HDOOL created for me and my (step)Dad was unexpected and wonderous. I've been reading books with my Dad for 24 years, but yours changed the world. Thanks for that.

[Eric Lee]

"I must come up with some way of helping people not feel self conscious when it's Q&A time."

Wait a second, in light of the narrative above, the answer is obvious: serve beer to the fans at Mysterious Galaxy!

[Fia]

Apparently the Jedi Day thing was all over the web yesterday, but it didn't catch up with me until you twittered. So then I, of course, had to share it with everyone I knew, geek and non-geek alike. Your wife is truly awesome. :D

[Mad Monk]

Wil did you ever hear the story about the Beatles meeting Elvis and he had a jukebox with records playing on it, and they observed that it was cool he was a music fan?

That's kinda how you come across in this posting, that, yeah, you are wil-fucking-wheaton, writer and actor; however, you are also a fan of writing and acting.

Also, I spent an entire evening catching up on the Radio Free Burritos. They were almost as good as the six pack I consumed whilst listening.

All praise St. Arnold.

[CrashTest_]

You are seriously the only geek/blogger/guy I read that the entire time I am reading my head is nodding up and down. I totally dig being a geek myself, and every time I go to a tech meetup or a Drupal group, I end up staying outside talking to my geeky friends for hours afterwords. I hope that never ends as well.

Definitely going to have to get your "Just a Geek" book now.

Later,

CrashTest_
(yes, that's my geeky IRC name :) )

[Merbrat]

re:May the Fourth be with you!

I emailed that to several worthy geek friends, and one replied
"Will two days from now be the Revenge Of The Sixth?"

Just thought you should know.

(obligatory nagging: When are you coming to Austin?)

[angie k]

It sounds like you both had a really (really) good time! That's awesome. Thanks for sharing your geeky weekend.

P.S. I already twittered a reply about May the Fourth but darn, that's the most awesome thing I've ever heard. Anne is way cool. :)

Cheers!

[ChrisW]

My wife has the same martini weakness, though she makes me stop her after one (granted, they're pretty damn big martinis). However, there must be some weird spousal aversion field that drives the spouses of martini drinkers from the table at key moments, because whenever I get back from the bathroom, I find her with a fresh martini.

[Paula]

Congratulations on the great weekend! My friends and I were at the Stone reading and it was fantastic. We drove down from LA and it was totally worth it. Thanks for being rad and loving Flogging Molly! Hooray for exclamation points!

[Mad Monk]

I'm not sure I like the pro-martini (hence anti-beer!) sentiments!

[Chris]

Um... shall I assume that you mean Ghost Rider, not Ghost World?

[Mad Monk]

Beer is a jealous lover.

[Wil]

@Chris: You absolutely may not. In fact, we may have to fight if you don't take that back.

Ghost Rider was one of the worst pieces of shit in the history of pieces of shit.

Ghost World.

[Mad Monk]

ooh ooh!

Lego Wesley would have known that Mott wasn't the barber!

Am I too late in the game on this one??

[Giladani]

The FG part with the frog slew me. I was utterly incapacitated for several minutes.

[Russty]

Wil,

Thanks for a great Saturday afternoon. My friend, Vicki and I both agreed over desert afterwards that you were just as awesome in person as we thought you would be. And thanks for introducing me to a great bookstore I'll definetly be visiting again.

:)Russty