itchy feet and fading smiles

So apparently Jerry O'Connell was on the Howard Stern Show this morning, and claimed that I bullied him when we made Stand By Me.

I haven't heard the interview, so I don't have context beyond, "Hey, Jerry says you bullied him when you made that movie," and normally, I'd just laugh this sort of thing off because it's entirely untrue, but I'm a little sensitive to being misrepresented, especially on a show like Stern where there are eleventy million listeners.

So.

This isn't true, and you'll shortly see why it's so important to me to set the record straight.

Keep in mind that Jerry was 10 or 11 when we shot Stand By Me, and I was 12, so neither one of us is the most reliable narrator in the world about events that are nearly 25 years in the past, but my memory on this particular issue is crystal clear: River and Corey really picked on Jerry and me, because I was the nerd and he was the fat kid. It wasn't constant -- River and I were pretty good friends for most of the production and remained that way for years after -- and I'm sure there were moments when all of us formed temporary alliances because that's what pre-teen boys do when they're in any social situation like we were, but I never bullied Jerry or anyone else.

I know this to be an unimpeachable fact because I've only been a serious bully once in my entire life. I was 10, and my brother was 6. We were spending the weekend at my Aunt Val's house with our older cousins. My brother and I were pretty sweet little kids, because that's how our parents raised us. Our cousins, however, were not. They were really cruel teenagers who delighted in tormenting us whenever they could, so on this particular weekend, in the interest of self-preservation, I made a cowardly decision to gang up on my brother with them, so they'd leave me alone.

Jeremy had a little parakeet at Aunt Val's, called Mister Feathers. Jeremy adored this little guy, and I thought he was pretty neat, too, but when our cousins thought it was real funny to run their fingers across his cage and scare the shit out of him so Jeremy would cry, I went along with it. Eventually, Aunt Val heard all the commotion and came to Jeremy's rescue. I only saw Aunt Val angry one time in my life, and that was it.

I felt terrible that I made Jeremy cry, because I knew that big brothers were supposed to protect their little brothers, but our cousins were relentless and ruthless in their bullying of us, and on this particular day I wasn't strong enough to stand up for us both. I don't recall why, and I've spent a lot of time over the years unsuccessfully searching for a satisfactory answer, but the best I can do is "I was a kid, I was scared, and I didn't know any better."

The thing is, I learned from that experience. I felt so sick about it, and so guilty (still do) that by the time I was 12 and we shot Stand By Me, it is absolutely impossible that I would have bullied anyone, especially Jerry, who I really liked.

12:12pm: In comments, casbar says:

It wasn't that bad. When asked if any of the other kids were assholes to him, O'Connell said he got along with Phoenix but Feldman and Wil Wheaton would bully him a bit cause it was his first job and he was the youngest. He clarified that it was because you guys were all Hollywood kids so it was some kind of "professionalism" bullying.. if that makes any sense.

Man, that's actually worse than what I thought he said. Corey was an absolute nightmare the entire shoot: totally unprofessional, always looking to be the center of attention, and excessively cruel to me (when we shot the "dog pile" thing right before we discover the leeches, he delighted in jamming his knee into the back of my knee, and that wasn't even the worst thing he pulled during production) so to be lumped in with him in Jerry's memory makes me really, really sad.

NB: I understand that Corey's finally gotten his shit together. If so, good for him, and I don't hold a grudge. It's just that when we made the movie, he was pretty terrible to be around.

Comments

[Bike Stop]

Hey Wil,

I wouldn't worry about it too much (though if I were in your position, I probably would too) but everyone knows anything they hear on Stern is bullshit anyway.

[PA_ChanMan]

Is the interview online anywhere yet? In Jerry's defense, I'm betting his memory of the event just kind of grouped all three of you together if he had a bad experience. Most of my childhood was spent being picked on (I was one of like three chinese kids in my school and I was a geek). When I look back it's difficult for me to seperate the kids who were mean to me from the ones who were just off on the sidelines watching. They all kind of blend together after 15 years.

[starshine_diva]

Similarly, I'm a nice little girl. I've only been a bully in one situation and never again.

But I don't want to talk about it unless it's to apologize.

[Anna Harriman]

First, I'd like to say that I find it hilarious that people are actually reporting stuff like this to you. It's the Wheaton Spy Network! LOL

Second, there could've been sarcasm involved. I mean, it IS Howard Stern's show...wouldn't be the first time someone missed the sarcasm.

[Sweeneybird]

Your concern is completely understandable - I've only once done something that qualifies as bullying, and I'm still embarrassed and ashamed and baffled by my behavior. Like you, I'm very sensitive to being perceived as a bully as a result. Good for you for clarifying!

[AJ]

No one has audio of this? Do I have to do everything myself around here?

*sigh* Fine. I'm firing up my Sirius.

[Gudlyf]

Hey Wil. I didn't hear the interview (yet) but a quasi-transcript at marksfriggin.com shows this:

"A caller asked Jerry if he was treated like an asshole when he was shooting ''Stand By Me.'' Jerry said that was his first job but River Phoenix was nice to him. He said that Corey Feldman and one of the other kids were kind of bullyish toward him but not really bullying. He said that he's friendly with Corey now. He said he actually went to a CD signing he was doing one day."

[Coyote Seven]

Wait, I'd heard that you pulled Shannen Doherty's hair.

Or no, she pulled your hair.

No wait, I think it was that she pulled your hair and then fell over a cliff.

Wait wait! You both had a cold. Yeah, that was it.

[R]

Well, hey--you got a good storytelling moment out of it, at any rate. Learning experience FTW!

[chuckgoolsbee]

Stern HAD eleventy million listeners. Since the jump to satradio, he only has small fraction of his past audience... BUT he does have half a billion bucks. I'd take that trade.

--chuck
http://chuck.goolsbee.org

[Chuck]

I believe you, and having had older sisters growing up, I know how being falsely accused sucks.

But remember, you'll always have Bootytown with Ashley Judd.

[Angela]

I agree with Bike Stop, I can't imagine anyone of your many readers who feel like they have gotten a feel for who you are would ever take a comment like that seriously.
On another note I'm bummed I didn't make it to see you in seattle last weekend. I wanted to meet you and tell you that I was the dumb untech savvy girl who asked what "teh" meant on this blog awhile back, and to ask how Chris is doing. Maybe next time. :(

[Sidra Vitale]

"...but the best I can do is 'I was a kid, I was scared, and I didn't know any better.'"

That's a very self-aware conclusion that shows a lot of compassion for your younger self. I think our past selves need compassion and understanding as much as the people around us in our present do.

[nullvariable]

I once coaxed my youngest brother into the dryer and turned it on...I'm sure that qualifies as bullying but I always claimed it was because I was too big to fit in and wondered what it would be like...lets just say my little bro doesn't listen to what I have to say much...and I learned my lesson too! (spankings were much more acceptable back then)

[crusader1973]

Wil,

I was listening to Stern this morning and heard the topic in question. Jerry didn't really say that you were a bully. A caller wanted to know "if anybody on the Stand By Me set was a d1ck" and Howard was pressing the question pretty hard to Jerry. He reluctantly said that you and Corey were veteran kid actors and he was a bit intimidated, that was all. He seemed like a pretty nice guy.

[casbar]

It wasn't that bad. When asked if any of the other kids were assholes to him, O'Connell said he got along with Phoenix but Feldman and Wil Wheaton would bully him a bit cause it was his first job and he was the youngest. He clarified that it was because you guys were all Hollywood kids so it was some kind of "professionalism" bullying.. if that makes any sense. The only part that pissed me off after that was he said recently he saw Corey at a CD signing and actually got a crappy Feldman CD signed but no mention of you or your books at all.

[Riley Joy]

I would never believe anything I heard on Stern's show, even if I could summon up the intestinal fortitude to actually listen to his show. He's just a schmuck who's famous for being obnoxious. Like Paris Hilton, famous for being rich and indiscreet. Or President Bush, famous for his wonderfully articulate speeches.

[Lea-Hernandez]

I can see why this is important to you. It sucks to feel like only one side of the story is told, and that side makes you sound like a jerk. And it sure sucks to get it right after a nice weekend. I know this from personal experience.

Try not to let it harsh your Seattle buzz.

[TheOpie]

It went down pretty much as casbar said, I hope my tweet didn't cause this, I was just joking.

[Wil]

@casbar: Man, that's actually worse than what I thought he said. Corey was an absolute nightmare the entire shoot: totally unprofessional, always looking to be the center of attention, and excessively cruel to me (when we shot the "dog pile" thing right before we discover the leeches, he delighted in jamming his knee into the back of my knee, and that wasn't even the worst thing he pulled during production) so to be lumped in with him in Jerry's memory makes me really, really sad.

[James M]

Have you thought about writing a parenting book? I'm going to save this post for my 3.5 year old when he's a little older. I want him to be his little brothers protector.

[Mad Monk]

Carly Simon recently said of a book that tells part of her past:

"...it brought back things that I didn't want to remember and from other people's voices," Simon said in a recent interview with The Associated Press. "I saw things in a way that to me seemed just too harsh..."

It's hard to defend yourself in someone else's memory.

Besides, he's banging that hot blue chick. What's he got to complain about?

[Andrew]

Besides, he's banging that hot blue chick.

Smurfette?

[Mad Monk]

Andrew:

Now THAT would have been an interesting literary adaption.

Magneto: "I'm sorry, my dear girl, but homo sapiens superior shall now take their rightful place!"

Smurfette: "OHH BOO HOO HOO"

I'm sure someone else could write that better.

[casbar]

Agreed, Wheaton. I wouldn't want to be lumped in with Corey Feldman either. I did get the feeling O'Connell at least tried to be nice but I'm with you.. that just hurts.