My contribution to dinner tonight was some yummy asparagus, it totally didn't suck, so I wanted to share the simple steps to create it with the Internet:
Wil's Yummy Asparagus
1. Get some asparagus.
2. Wash it off.
3. Cut Snap off the bottoms where it's all fibrous and gross.
4. Put about 2 inches of water into a pan.
5. Put some garlic salt into the water.
6. Bring your about-to-smell-great water to a boil.
7. Put the asparagus into the water for about 2 minutes, turning it or rolling it over once after about a minute.
8. Put some olive oil into a shallow dish.
9. Put a little bit of powdered garlic and ground pepper into the olive oil and mix it up real good.
10. Brush the tasty oil onto the asparagus.
11. Grill the asparagus (if you don't have a grill, you can use one of those grill pans) for about 4 or 5 minutes, turning a few times so you get nice charring all over it.
12. Serve immediately.
13. The next several times you pee, that's your body saying, "Dude! You had some seriously yummy asparagus tonight!"
Update: Reader Sans Diety offers this addition: During the last minute of grilling, squeeze a lemon over it, and then add a slight bit of grated Parmesan, just as it comes off the heat.