There's this one corner of my office that's been completely taken over by various bits of flotsam. It's the place where things that really need to be dealt with get shoved aside, partially out of sight, but never entirely out of mind.
I've been putting off cleaning it up, but just before we left for the PCA, I had this overwhelming and undeniable desire to clean out all the bullshit that is scattered around my house, which has been allowed to pile up and overwhelm me over the last year or so.
This is a powerful metaphor for what's going on in my life right now.
I am so fucking sick and tired of all this bullshit that's piled up everywhere that makes me feel like I'm not even in control of my own life, and I'm so sick of making excuses for allowing it to be there, I just attacked it this afternoon. Literally. I grabbed handfuls of books off shelves and piled them on the floor to be sorted. I pulled out drawers from a desk, dumped them next to the books, got the shredder out, and went through almost eighteen months worth of junk and paperwork that should have been filed away or destroyed long ago. It's been a long, occasionally frustrating, but mostly rewarding day, as I get this shit under control. The end is starting to come into view, and now that I feel like this shit isn't controlling me, I can enjoy some of the cool things I've come across, like a stack of old Star Trek trading cards, my script from CSI, some press kits from Stand By Me, and a bunch of really cool Aqualad figures I'd forgotten I had. I found things that made me angry, like correspondence I sent to O'Reilly (unsuccessfully) begging them to stop mispromoting Just A Geek, and things that made me incredibly happy, like a first-edition of Dancing Barefoot, complete with typo(e)s, and the original hand-drawn layout for WWdN from a thousand years ago. I also found some things that made me really sad, like one of Sketch's chewed up rainbow balls. I also found some things that must have seemed very important at the time I collected them, like an envelope with the word "It's Curvy!" written in my this is hilarious! script, and a seven of diamonds with the pips connected like dots. I also found a bunch of poker chips I thought I'd lost, and well over one hundred polyhedral dice. There are CDs, DVDs, pictures, business cards, notes, and lots and lots of games.Most of this stuff is going into boxes and out to the garage, but a lot of it will get thrown into the trash with extreme prejudice. It's empowering to decide what's important enough to keep around, what's worth dealing with, and what's just better off going straight into the fucking trash where it belongs.
For the longest time, the only semi-calm area in my office was about a four foot neutral zone surrounding my computer, but I've nearly reclaimed the entire area in the name of Wil, and it feels awesome. Tomorrow, I will continue to expand my empire out into the rest of my house, and by extension, my life. I'm not sure if I'll be successful, but I'm going to do my very best.
Which is a powerful metaphor for what's going on in my life right now.
