WWdN: In Exile

West Coast - I'm on WPT tonight

I just found out that I'm on the World Poker Tour on the Travel Channel tonight. It's the WPT Invitational from Commerce Casino, where I outlasted all the other celebrity players and finished 23rd to land $10,000 for City of Hope. I doubt I'll get much screen time, but my friend Burns! just called Anne to tell her that he saw me.

So . . . now you know! If anyone gets an mpeg or something, let me know and I'll link it up.

Update: WWdN:iX reader Andrew sent me the following captures:

XviD (9 MB)

mpeg2 (30MB)

It 's a great segment. I got a lot more camera time than I expected, and so did Darwin!  If anyone wants to seed .torrents, let me know and I'll update again. Thanks, Andrew!

Update: Brian, who provides .torrent seeds for all the podcasts, has worked his torrent-fu and produced a .torrent of the mpeg2 video file:

http://athena.unearthed.org/torrents/wpt-wil.mpg.torrent

(Thanks, Brian!)

(image via Dr. Pauly)

broke the bonds and loosed the chains

Pauly:

If more Americans read books every night instead of watching TV, we'd live in a more productive society. If more Americans watched the news and read real newspapers and magazines, instead of crappy programs like American Idol, then I'm confident that George Bush would not be our president. But heck, that's what our leaders really want deep down... a mindless, uneducated populous that will work 40 hours a week so they can earn enough money to buy things to keep them distracted from the evil deeds that our leaders and suits in Fortune 500 companies are conducting everyday under your noses.

Amen. It's interesting to think of turning off the television and being less of a consumer as an act of rebellion, but I think Pauly has a valid point, at the very least worthy of consideration if not action. I know how happy and free I feel after cleaning a bunch of needless stuff out my house (and life) recently, and since I'm not completely overwhelmed by stuff that is ultimately not that important, I feel like I can address various mental and spiritual aspects of my life that need attention, now that I'm not constantly battling with a huge pile of material bullshit on a daily basis.

I've been making an effort to turn off the TV, walk away from the Internets, turn on the radio, and read lots of books. It's nothing heady -- I just finished Monster Island, and I'm in the first third of Cell -- but I agree with Pauly. Reading activates and nourishes a different part of my brain than watching TV, even if it's not Hemmingway or Feynman or something weighty. It also makes me want to write more, which is something I sorely need.

I've also made an effort over the last few weeks to unplug, and get out of the house every day, even if it's just out into my yard, or my patio garden. Anne and I have been getting out of the house and walking like crazy, in preparation for the marathon this weekend (you can still sponsor our team here), and though we're down to the "easy" six mile walks this week (we're just tuning up to walk a half marathon, instead of running a full one, remember), it's still great to get out of the house and breathe deeply for a couple of hours every morning. All the flowers in our neighborhood are in bloom, too, so it's almost like walking through the best flower shop in the world, but it's also filled with birds and those really friendly people who get up early to walk during the week.

My soul still needs nourishment, and my life is still out of Balance, but I'm getting closer to finding it. I think all this physical pain in my hip and up my back and on my shoulders is a physical manifestation of my current disarray, and I'm glad my body finally forced me into tuning up my diet and getting more exercise, both physical and psychic.

Update -  just to be clear on something I think I may have been unclear about earlier: I'm not suggesting that watching and enjoying TV, and reading books or being smart and informed are all mutually exclusive activities. If people didn't love TV, I wouldn't have had a job for a long time, and if I didn't watch shows like Lost and Deadliest Catch and NOW and Futurama and Family Guy, I wouldn't have as much joy in my life as I do. From my personal experience, though, and only speaking from my personal experience, I'm happier and I feel more inspired, and more in tune with my creative self, and more inspired, and more willing to use insanely long run on sentences with lots of "and"s in them, when I'm reading lots of books. I don't mean to insult or offend anyone who really enjoys some good TV.

And speaking of good TV: boy, G4 really screwed the pooch with Star Trek 2.0, didn't they? Way to make one of the greatest Sci-Fi shows in history into an afterthought in a broadcast that even the most ADD-stricken among us find annoying. Great job, guys. Really, really fantastic.

two burning questions, answered

Question the first: What if comic geeks re-enacted comic book battles the same way history geeks re-enact Civil War battles? Answer: Re-Enacting Marvel Secret Wars. (via Wired)

Question the second: What would happen if the Enterprise D battled with the original Enterprise? Answer: Sci-Fi Battles: Kirk vs. Picard (Thanks, Columbo!)

i meant every word i said

Dinner is finished, and Anne is helping Nolan with some homework at the dining room table. I'm sitting outside by the fire pit, enjoying the fruits of our weekend of patio labor. I am surrounded by freshly-planted wildflowers, two types of tomatoes, and the sweet smell of lavender, roses, and just-turned dirt.

I was listening to Big Tracks on XM, through DirecTV, on our home stereo. I sang REO Speedwagon's Keep On Lovin' You a little too loudly while I sipped a Stone Pale Ale and digested the most amazing chicken soft tacos (marinated in tequila, lime, salsa and Tapatio) I think I've ever cooked, when Ryan came out to the patio from the kitchen.

"Can I turn off XM and put on Live Aid?" He said.

"No, you can't," I said, a little perturbed that my REO Speedwagon rocking had been interrupted.

"But you've been monopolizing the TV, and you're not even inside," he said. Very reasonable.

" . . . I meant that I loved you foreverrrrr, and I'm gonna ke--" I sang. "Dude. I'm trying to get my rock on, and you're totally harshing my mellow."

"You're trying to get your rock on . . . to REO Speedwagon?" He said, incredulous. Tough to argue with that. "You're the only one listening to this, so isn't it fair to consider the rest of the family?"

Dammit. I raised him to think like this. I'm so proud of him, but . . . Big Tracks, and Stone Pale Ale, and sitting by the fire pit! Shit. Shit. Shit.

"Did you ask your mom what she thinks?" I said.

"She's going to say that she doesn't care, because she's helping Nolan with his homework." He said.

REO Speedwagon ended, and Asia began: "I never meant to be so bad to you . . ."

"Okay," I said, "let's go inside and ask your mom what she thinks."

We walked into the house, and found Anne and Nolan at the dining room table. Ryan related our discussion, and asked Anne if she cared if he changed the channel.

"I don't care," she said.

Ryan jumped up and pointed at me. "Ha! I told you!"

"I don't care about the radio, either," Nolan said, with a pointed smirk at me.

"Yes! I get to put on Live Aid!" Ryan said. He started toward the living room.

"Uh, wait." I said, "we haven't reached consensus."

"Oh, we totally have, Wil," he said with a grin, "you're 25% in favor, and mom, Nolan, and I are
75% opposed. We have a majority."

I was done. I'd lost, and now it was time to take it like a man.

"Dude, I have, uhm, extra . . . uh . . . powers." I said.

"What?" Ryan said.

"Yeah, I went up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start," I said.

"Okay," Ryan said, "so you get extra lives on Contra. What does that have to do with the radio?"

I don't know how he knew that it was the Konami code, but I'm sure he picked it up from me, somewhere over the years.

"Okay," I said, "just because you knew that, you win. Go put on Live Aid."

Queen is blasting out We Will Rock You, from Wembley Stadium in 1985, as I type this.

radio silence

Some days, you just have to accept that you're not destined to do the things you want to do. You just have to say, "I did my best, but it's just not going to happen."

Like this fucking podcast, for example. After spending nearly three hours working on it yesterday, only to have my machine completely eat all of it and leave me with nothing but an empty feeling and a tiny ball of rage to show for it, I sat back down today to give it another go. As a bonus, I even convinced my wife to let me take out the old iRiver and ask her some questions about dating, and then being married to a geek. It was awesome.

However, the gods had other plans, because when I imported my audio from my iRiver to my Powerbook, it was totally useless, just like it was after the Grand Slam convention. Only this time, instead of being totally blown out, it decided that it needed to skip all over the place and drop out about every three seconds. I've discovered that the only thing this particular iRiver is good for is hitting with a sledgehammer, then setting on fire, stomping into a ball of goo, and launching at the invading Viking army via a trebuchet. (And it's not even very good for that, to be honest.)

This really needs to just work. I really need to be able to just sit down, take what's in my head, and put it into a recording. It's clear to me that if I want to do this podcast on any regular schedule, it has to be as technologically easy as it is for me to write, and I just don't have the tools for that right now. I have to get some sort of reliable recording rig that is NOT a USB headset into fucking Garageband that crashes, and the iRiver that decides to just stop working one day. I need stuff that just works.

This is all a roundabout way of saying: I'm really frustrated, and really upset that I've poured five hours of my time into this fucking thing, and I have nothing to show for it. It's the end of the week, I'm hungry and cranky, and instead of trying to start all over again and force a show out by the end of the day today, I'm going offline for several hours, to have dinner with my wife. Thank you all for your questions and the time you spent asking them; I'll do my very best to get the technical side of things worked out quickly, so your time will not have been wasted, as well.

Have a great weekend, everyone. Please drive safely.

guinness is good

This is funny because it's true.

learn to swim

Eventful is getting lots of press, which is great for Brian and his entire team, because I believe that it's a tool that indie artists and guys like me will be able to use to connect with our audiences in ways that just weren't possible as recently as a year ago.

But I'm getting really tired of reading things like this:

The Eventful demand system is still new, and right now the system is overwhelmed by a collection of demands to hear former Star Trek actor Wil Wheaton speak. But don't let that put you off.

I'm sorry, but why would that put anyone off? Because it'd be better if Eventful was filled with demands for huge artists that don't care about meeting their audience, and wouldn't listen to demands, anyway?

Yeah, it's a really terrible thing that I hopped on board with Eventful, and consulted with Brian before it even launched, because I believe in it, and my upcoming trips to Montreal and Boston are perfect examples of how it can work, right? And it's equally off-putting that because of Eventful, the people who read my blog and I have a way to figure out where and when I should come perform, right? Yeah, that's just terrible! It's so off-putting!

And excuse me if this puts you off, Mr. Web 2.0 writer, but could we maybe retire the phrase "former Star Trek actor?" I know it's hard for you mainstream media types to understand that I've done a few things with myself since Star Trek ended over a decade ago, (like publish two books, write several weekly columns, and provide voices for several video games and animated series,) but I have a lot more in my life than just being a "former Star Trek actor," which you would have known if you'd done your homework.

Update: The article's author has apologized:

I'd like to apologize to you, Wil. I did not mean to offend nor to diminish your work. My tongue-in-cheek comment about how a ton of Eventful Demand posts to see you might be overwhelming to people trying to set up their own demands was not meant as a slight to you personally (although I can see how it was insensitive). As I said to one person who wrote an email to me, it's clear that you've done a lot for Eventful and Eventful has done a lot for you. That's how good business gets done.

I'll buy a ticket to see you when you come to SF.

Thank you, Rafe. Whenever I hear "former Star Trek actor . . ." without any mention of anything else I've done with my life, I do feel diminished and slighted. Apology accepted and appreciated very much.

the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have

Today is Towel Day, a day when all geeks can carry their towels with them in tribute to the hoopiest frood of them all, Douglas Adams.

I absolutely love that I'm recording an all-geek podcast on this most sacred of days.

Updated: Oh! You know what I love even more? Spending 2.5 hours working on the podcast, then losing the entire thing to some weird confluence of system lockups and crashes.

I'm taking a long, long, long don't-break-anything walk, and I'll try again in the morning. Sigh.

the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have

Today is Towel Day, a day when all geeks can carry their towels with them in tribute to the hoopiest frood of them all, Douglas Adams.

I absolutely love that I'm recording an all-geek podcast on this most sacred of days.

bearing 325 degrees

I am about to begin production on Episode 9 of Radio Free Burrito, but before I get started, I wanted to share a hilarious John Kovalic cartoon with you all.

More to come later . . .