[F]or the vast majority of Suburban Americans between the age of 14 and 24 in the early 80s, when it was time to make out and you put Escape on the turntable, you were automatically spotted two bases. Honestly, if you didn't have a hand under a bra or massaging a button fly by the end of "Who's Crying Now," Steve Perry would stop what he
was doing, fly to your house and then beat the crap out of you for blowing a sure thing.
I'm laughing so hard right now, I just peed a little.
