WWdN: In Exile

all good things . . . (part one)

Endings . . .

At the beginning of October, I talked with my editor at The AV Club about my column The Games of our Lives.

"I think I'm running out of jokes," I said. "There are still a ton of games, but I've done almost one hundred of them, and I'm just running out of new and different ways of looking at them."

"Do you want to end the column?" He said.

"I think I should," I said, "because I don't want it to turn into The Simpsons. I'd much rather end it while it's still really good, instead of forcing myself to keep working at it when I feel like that particular creative well is nearly dry. I think I should finish out this month, and then we should send the column to a farm upstate where it can have more space to run around and it can play with other columns."

He agreed with me, confirmed that I have an open invitation to pitch anything I ever want to the AV Club, and that he would keep me in mind as a writer if anything new came along. (That's how I got the job writing Games of Our Lives in the first place.)

Beginnings . . .

Early this year, around Spring, I think it was, I got a call from Kevin Rose, who I have been friends with since we worked together on Tech TV back in the good old days before G4 bought it, fucked it up real good, and then shot it in the back of the head behind a dumpster after taking a dump on it and leaving it to die in the rain as the camera did a slow, stylized, Sin City pull back into an ultra-hot close-up of Miho.

Kevin was doing all sorts of things with Diggnation and was getting ready to launch a new TV network on the Intertubes called Revision 3. Would I be interested in being part of it?

Hells yes I would.

A few weeks went by, and I got a call from another mutual friend of ours, David Prager, who I'd worked with several times when he was a producer on The Screen Savers.[1] David was looking for a new host to add to a show called In Digital, and wanted to know if I was interested.

"Who do you have already?"

"Jessica Corbin and Hahn Choi."

"Really? Cool! What's the commitment?"

"Two episodes a month."

"What would I do?"

"Check out gadgets and tech stuff, and talk about them."

"Can I do something more than just that?"

"Like what?"

"Like some geeky segment, like if Andy Rooney was a geek and not a dick? Something that's more than just reviewing, I mean."

"Yeah, I think that could be pretty cool."

We had a meeting, worked out a small pile of details, and I came on board. I haven't talked about it here before now because we only had one episode[2] completed, and because it was sort of rushed out as a pilot, I wanted to wait until we had at least one more episode completed.

Well, now we do.

This is the show I was talking about on Monday where I said I sat funny in the chair and looked like a big fat bitch, so be sure to keep your eyes open for that. It's a whole lotta fun. My "if Andy Rooney was a geek and not a dick" segment hasn't found its way into either of these shows, yet, but I'm sure that will be coming along very soon; I just have to write them, and if you've followed my blog over the last two months or so, you may have noticed that I've been doing quite a bit of writing and creating and I'm starting to feel a little, uh, "creatively winded." I need to slow down and walk a little bit so I don't pass out, but I have some ideas building, and they should burst out of me like an alien from John Hurt pretty soon.

I'm really excited to be part of In Digital and Revision 3. I believe that online networks like R3 and Channel 101 are way out on the bleeding edge of where television is going. It's specific, it's on-demand, and it doesn't play by any of the traditional rules that make so much of existing television a big old pile of crap. It's really cool to be part of something like this right at the very beginning, especially since I believe so strongly in the philosophy behind the network.

There are more exciting things in my future, but I can't talk about them until some contracts are signed and some other stuff is taken care of, but I'll talk about that stuff in all good things . . . (part two).

Please let me know what you think of In Digital if you watch it. I'm very interested in your feedback.

[1] I don't think I ever mentioned it, but I talked with TechTV an awful lot about co-hosting TSS with Kevin. It would have required a move to San Francisco (this was before they moved down to Los Angeles, and all that unpleasant G4 trauma happened,) and we could never really find terms that made me and the network happy, so we broke up, but totally stayed friends.

[2] I should have pointed this out earlier, but I have quite the potty mouth in this episode. Episode 7 (the newest one) is nice and clean, though.

regarding advertising

If you're reading this via syndication, you'll notice that in the last few days, small ads have shown up at the end of my posts.

I'm experimenting with including some advertising in my blog, including my RSS feed and on my actual site. This experiment will run for about 90 days, when I'll run some numbers and see if it's worth it or not. I hope to keep it as non-intrusive as possible, and there will never be pop-ups, pop-unders, annoying blinky flashy animated bullshit, or anything like that. The experiment has two main components: how much do I personally hate having advertising sitting next to my blog posts, and does the income generated by that advertising make sucking up that distaste worthwhile.

I know people don't like ads (I am one of them,) but I'm trying to strike a balance between writing for places that help me support my family, and writing in my blog. The reality of my life is that I have a child going to college next year, and I have to do every single thing I possibly can to ensure that he never hears, "Sorry, I know you want to go there, but we can't afford it. How about here instead?" If I'm leaving money on the table (as they say) when I could be helping to put it into that college fund -- even with handfuls of change every few days -- I don't feel I'm being a responsible parent and provider.

If this works, the end result should be good for me and my family, and
presumably good for people who enjoy it when I write frequently in my
blog, because if my blog is helping to support my family, I can justify
writing in it more and more. I'll be able to work harder to write quality stuff, and that should be good for everyone.

If you don't want to see ads, try using Firefox + Adblock + filterset.g. Of course, I'd appreciate it if you'd whitelist me, because that lets me charge higher rates for fewer ads, but I totally understand if you don't want to.

is that just a sidekick?

If you:

• Have a few minutes.
• Own a cell phone with a camera in it.
• Have ever had that phone taken away before you're let into a movie.
• Enjoy a bit of the funny.

You'll want to go read Ryan's tale Employee of the Month, wherein we learn that his Sidekick has a really crappy camera which is apparently better at making it hard for him to get into screenings than it is at actually taking pictures.

Seriously. What would Jesus do?

In the discussion of the busy body idiots and their anti-peace sign crusade, a lot of people, myself included, observed that the HOA president and his supporters seemed like right wing whack jobs. This lead others, myself included, to comment on how many right wing whack jobs are also Christianist whack jobs, and there was much piling on.

A lone voice spoke up, and said,

um, may I just quietly say that this HOA president who started this whole mess is not representative of ANY Christians that I know, myself included? My husband and I were just as outraged by that HOA president's reaction to a rather tasteful peace-symbol wreath as everyone else here. And speaking of acceptance, it would be nice if people in general would stop lumping all Christians in with the ultra-right-wing Pat Robertson types out there. Most Christians I know just wish to coexist peacefully with our neighbors, regardless of their differing beliefs.

I have thought a lot about this statement since I read it, because I'm recently guilty of lumping all Christians in with the ultra-right-wing Pat Robertson types out there, but I haven't always been that way. I've always made a concerted effort to truly live and let live, and respect how and what other people who want to worship, but since the rise of the people we call Christianists (those Dominionists who want to force everyone into their narrow and intolerent view of morality, by force if necessary,) I've just gotten religion fatigue. I'd like to think that I'm tolerant and patient and open-minded, but the truth is, I'm so fed up with people trying to make laws and decisions for me and my family that are none of their business, and I'm so fed up with being told that I'm a bad person because I don't subscribe to the same exact narrow views they have, whenever I hear "Christian" or "religion" or "morality" or "values", I just shut down.

This morning, I read this:

The president-elect of the Christian Coalition of America has declined the job, saying the organization wouldn't let him expand its agenda beyond opposing abortion and gay marriage.

The Rev. Joel Hunter, who was scheduled to take over the socially conservative group in January from Roberta Combs, said he had hoped to focus on issues such as poverty and the environment.

"These are issues that Jesus would want us to care about," said Hunter, a senior pastor at Northland Church in Longwood, Fla.

Hunter announced his decision not to take the job during an organization board meeting Nov. 21. A statement issued by the group said Hunter left because of "differences in philosophy and vision." Hunter said he was not asked to leave.

"They pretty much said, 'These issues are fine, but they're not our issues, that's not our base,"' Hunter said.

   

As recently as two months ago, that would have outraged me, but today, it just made me sad, probably because I'm relaxed a little bit since the election, and the Dominionists won't have a such a grip on Congress.

I realize that the Christian Coalition is really a political group (a huge problem for our country in and of itself) but if I were a Christian, I would be profoundly upset that this huge organization, with such a loud voice at the table and such a significant presence in public life, is declaring that stopping gay marriage and telling women whether or not they can make a deeply personal decision are more important issues -- and more specifically more important Christian issues -- than helping the people among us who have the least and need the most. Even though I'm not religious now, I went to a parochial school, and the way I understood the teachings of Christ, tolerance, charity, and compassion were pretty high up there on his list of ways to be a good person. That's another reason I am so tired of hearing from self-described religious folks that even though I work diligently to live my life according to those principles, I'm a bad person because I believe same-sex couples should be entitled to everything that the rest of us have, and I don't drop to my knees and declare my fealty to George W. Bush.

I sincerely hope that the Christian Coalition, Focus on the Family, The Family Research Council, and the rest of those organizations don't speak for the majority of Christians any more than that homeowner's association president does, and I sincerely hope that a lot of Christians will read that article and repudiate what their so-called leaders are suggesting.

Is stopping two people who love each other from getting married really more important than feeding and clothing a family who need help, especially during Winter? What would Jesus do?

Geek in Review: Destroy All Humans 2

Over a cup of coffee last week, I said to my friend, "You know what the best thing is about writing for Suicide Girls?"

"The boobies?"

"I am obligated to deny that," I said, "but that's not the answer anyway."

"Oh. What is the best thing about writing for Suicide Girls?" He said.

"Well, it's --"

"It's really not the boobies? Because those goth girls are hot."

"Dude."

"Sorry. What is it?"

"It's that I get to --" I began.

"I mean, Zoli? Come on, dude. You have to at least admit that."

"Dude!"

"Alexis?"

"Shut up!"

"Mary?"

"I'm going to kick you in the nuts."

"Posh?"

"Okay, Posh is pretty hot and she's a geek, too." I said.

"Totally!" He said.

"I mean, NO! Stop it! Let me make my point."

"This is pretty funny though. You can put it on your blog."

I thought about this.

"Yes. Yes I can. Do you know what else I'd like to put on my blog?"

He blinked at me and waited for me to continue.

"I WOULD LIKE TO PUT WHAT I FUCKING LIKE THE MOST ABOUT WRITING FOR THE FUCKING WEBSITE!"

"Sorry," he said to a single mom sitting with her five year-old on a nearby couch, "he's had a few."

"You know what? Screw you. I'm not going to tell you what I like the most about writing for Suicide Girls, and you'll just have to wait until next Wednesday to find out."

I sat back triumphantly and took a long drink from my cup.

After a few seconds he said, "It's the boobies, isn't it?"

"I hate you."

So. Would you, dear reader, like to know what the best thing is about writing for Suicide Girls? Uh-uh! Don't you dare say it. Just sit back and listen.

I get to do geeky things, like spend a day at a game con or watching Star Wars, or spend a week reading Absolute Sandman, and get I paid to write about it. I can justify doing things that I love, because it's part of my job. Isn't that the dream? To get paid to do what you love? To write things that you're proud of? (I really liked writing The Portrait of the Artist as a Young Geek.) I'm a very lucky guy, and in those moments (coming more and more frequently the last month or so) when I miss acting so much it hurts my soul, I need to remember that I am very luck that I can support my family and have a creative outlet at the same time. And I'm only 34, so hopefully I'm not quite dead yet.

Anyway, on to this week's Geek in Review. Remember when I wrote that I had Destroy All Humans! 2 sitting here, and I couldn't play it because I needed to work?

Ha. I win, Universe.

Destroy All Humans! 2 picks up a decade after Destroy All Humans! ended. Cryptosporidium-137 is gone, but his clone, Cryptosporidium-138 is alive and well, masquerading as the president of the United States, and wreaking havoc from within (Hrm. Maybe Dick Cheney is an alien. I'll have to look into that. It would explain a few things.) Everything is going beautifully, until the KGB shoots Cryto's mothership out of the sky and kills his commander, Orthopox-13 (who then spends the rest of the game as a floating holographic head.) The destruction of the mother ship, and Crypto's search for revenge is what we writers call the "inciting incident" or the "hook" to get the story moving, and get moving it does.

You'll begin in Bay City, which is suspiciously similar to San Francisco and swarming with those damn Hippes, before moving on to Albion, which is suspiciously similar to London, and also swarming with Hippies. From there, the story takes you to Takoshima (want to guess what that's suspiciously similar to and swarming with?) and points . . . beyond, as new and unexpected enemies arrive and give Crypto plenty of opportunities to make war, not love.

[. . .]

Good for Geeks Because: You're playing an alien and you can destroy buildings with your flying saucer. If that's not enough to get your slide rule, uh, sliding, there are enough pop culture references to get their own VH-1 special, and many of them are really geeky (Rocky Horror, Red vs. Blue, The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny.) With a little bit of work, you could even turn it into a drinking game. But remember, geeks: if you're drinking alone, you're not partying. You're an alcoholic.

The Newswire is Safe for Work today, so check it out, if you'd like to read my full review. I have to get back to, uh, work.

HBO developing Preacher series

Since I haven't unleashed a ZOMGBBQ!!1 in a while, I thought this would be an appropriate time:

HBO is developing a one-hour series based on the popular 1990s Vertigo comic series Preacher, according to The Hollywood Reporter. Mark Steven Johnson, who directed the comic-book adaptations Daredevil and the upcoming Ghost Rider for the big screen, is writing the pilot. Howard Deutch (The Whole Ten Yards) is set to direct. Johnson and Deutch will executive produce along with Michael De Luca, George Agusto, Chris Bender and J.C. Spink.

ZOMGBBQ!!1

I will now add the obligatory: pleasedon'tfuckitup.pleasedon'tfuckitup. pleasedon'tfuckitup.

(via Warren Ellis, who says he won't reprint what Garth Ennis[1] said about the project. That forces me to repeat: pleasedon'tfuckitup. pleasedon'tfuckitup. pleasedon'tfuckitup.[2])

[1] Warren Ellis calls Garth Ennis "Garth." I guess you get to do that when you're one of those guys.

[2] This is bigger than Preacher. If they don't fuck this up, it could open the door to adapting Watchmen as a 1 hour series.

it's a mug's game

Annie is celebrating her one year blog-o-versary. (Yeah, I said "blog-o-versary." So what? You wanna fight about it?)

What was I doing one year ago? Oh. I know. Dusting off the Millenium Falcon, boo beeping R2’s holograms, and learning codes and 'a ref-hef's = things and shit" to wage war on the boys in the Blogosphere. I was trying HARD to keep my end of the bet with Duke Nickerson and King Wheaton but shit, they were tough. They blogged HARD! Retorts, replys, even replays of bad dance moves set to animation. (Thanks AJ). Man, I tried to anti-blog their bloggity blog vlog iblog bullblog eggblog blogdog clogblog flogblogrog, but truth be told, I lost. Even my ghetto photoshop and secret spy tactics didn’t have a shot. I got nailed by the nerds. Nailed! And not in the hot way. (Nerds who by the way, recently spent an evening together under the starry LA sky listening to the romantic sounds of video game theme songs).

‘Dude, I hope to God they play the theme song to Ms. Pacman for the encore!’ 
‘I know, Wil.  Man, if they play Dig Dug then Paperboy I’ll lose my shit!” 
'HIGH FIVE!!!  UP HIGH, DOWN LOW, IN THE MIDDLE… HUG ME!!!!’

But alas. The bet ended. They officially won. Rock, paper, elbow, send, beep beep, red wine, tap dancing, good times, leg warmers, score cards, blackmail pics, action figures, poker talk…AND…scene. It was super fun times. Times in the yearbook. Times not forgotten. Cue Saint Elmo's Fire theme song.

    Despite all her efforts to avoid it, Annie became a wonderful blogger (duh. she's a talented and brilliant writer, why wouldn't she be an equally great blogger?) and I'm glad that all it took was my perfect read of her RoShamBo strategy, combined with Nickerson's power of Hawesome to start her down the path.

Happy Anniversary, Sertich. Next time I see you, I'll give you the appropriate merit badge for your nerd cape.

walking with a dead man over my shoulder

Note: This title has nothing to do with this post, but Boingo just came on the "Xmas + Top Rated" party shuffle smart playlist, and it's as good as anything my brain has kicked out on its own in the last ten minutes.

Hey, why don't we skip through a few days of television shows together? That'll be vague (for you)  and fun (for me.) I'll even include links to TV Squad recaps where appropriate, because they're my friends. Nyahh.

Oh, and when you read the day of the week, make the Law & Order "KunkCHUNG!" sound. It'll make you smile, and if you do it out loud, it may get your co-workers to give you a little extra room. Trust me.

Okay, here we go.

Saturday:

Nothing first-run, but I caught a lot of the James Bond marathon on Spike. I was really sick with the flu on Friday and Saturday, so I was drifting in and out through several films, and realized that you can randomly mash together just about anything from a Bond film between 1978 and 1983 (when they went back to Connery) and still end up with a story that makes sense and has continuity. It may help to be running a fever and puking your guts out, though, so approach with caution.

Sunday:

The Simpsons
I think this could quite possibly be the worst episode ever of this once magnificent show. Can anyone think of one that sucked more? This, of course, assumes that you felt, like I did, that it sucked. Okay, I can't talk about it anymore, because my damn wiener kids are listening.

Family Guy
Pretty funny. More Brian and Stewie, with bits of Peter for balance. I'd like to see some more Quagmire (the giggidy variety, not the Commander Kookoobananas variety), Cleveland and Joe stories before this season is over, because the "Peter is stupid" thing is starting to get played out for me. It's funny in little bits, but too much of it gives me a rash.

American Dad
GodDAMN I love this show. I hated it for the first few episodes, but I think it's gotten steadily better and better. I wish all sitcoms were written as well as this one is.

Monday:

Before we get to Monday, did you make the sound? See? I was right, wasn't I? Okay. Moving on.

(KunkCHUNG! Hee Hee Hee!)

Heroes
Dear producers of Lost: This is how you do it. I love every. single. thing. about this show. If I can find a way to not totally fuck up an audition for it, (Let's go to the big board, where we see that Wil is currently 0-2 this season, Bob!) I may  even get a chance to be part of it. As hard as it is for me to let my guard 100% down (been there, done that, saw Fire Walk With Me) each episode makes me happier than the last. I just hope that the creators have the entire thing mapped out already, and that NBC leaves them alone enough to wrap the whole story up before they decide to bring in some new Heroes named Paulo and Nikki.

Studio 60
After an unsteady, but promising, start, I finally feel like the show is settling into its rhythm. The actors all know their characters, and the writers all know the actors strengths. I've been backstage for countless live comedy shows, and this is exactly how they feel, especially among the actors and writers. I realized last night that I heavily identify with Matthew Perry's character as much as I do because I want so badly to be that guy.

Channel 4 News at 11
Man, what a fucking downer.

Channel 2 News at 11
Come on, guys, I turned away from channel 4 to get away from this depressing news!

Futurama
Ah, that's what daddy ordered. Still better than nearly everything in first-run.

Okay, I guess I should get around to finishing my Geek in Review so I'm not late for my deadline. Back to work.

busy body idiots relent (one in a not frequent enough series)

Common sense prevails:

A subdivision has withdrawn its threat of $25 daily fines against a homeowner who put a Christmas wreath shaped like a peace sign on the front of her home.

Homeowner Lisa Jensen told The Associated Press Monday that the board of directors of the Loma Linda Homeowners Association had apologized, called the incident a misunderstanding and had withdrawn its request for the wreath's removal.

I'm glad Lisa Jensen got her apology, and will be allowed to hang her peace sign from her house this holiday season, but what misunderstanding? This isn't the first time this HOA has gone nuts about a peace sign, and they threatened to fine the homeowner $25 a day, because "three or four" idiots, including the HOA's president, think that the peace symbol is Satanic.

"The peace sign has a lot of negativity associated with it," said Kearns. "It's also an anti-Christ sign. That's how it started."

Wrong again, stupid. It got started because you have nothing better to do than stomp around your little fiefdom and impose your narrow views on everyone who is unfortunate enough to live there under your watchful eye, and your anti-peace sign crusade didn't even begin or end at Lisa Jensen's house!

The committee's former chairman, Jack Lilly, said Kearns had told committee members he was going to have them removed because they didn't think the wreath and another, unrelated peace symbol in the neighborhood should be taken down.

(Emphasis mine.) The more I read about this incident, the more it seems like this is just one man on a mission to eradicate a symbol he personally finds offensive. There was no "misunderstanding," other than the HOA president misunderstanding what is and isn't appropriate use of his limited authority. And apparently, I wasn't the only person who thought it was outrageous:

"We would like to thank everyone who has contacted us with moral support and offers of financial support. We are grateful to hundreds of complete strangers who felt so moved by this story they contacted us," she said.

"It seems whenever someone tries to say 'Peace on Earth' it is met with so much resistance," she said. "The incredible amount of support we have received over the last couple of days really is proof to us of how many people believe in peace and in our right to say it."

Yeah, what exactly do these self-appointed arbitrators of what's acceptable and what isn't have against peace? You know, peace means a whole lot more than "not war."

more fun with creative commons

Grab your copyfight badges, kids, because it's time for another example of the spirit of the Creative Commons!

Last week, I scanned this picture of myself, taken in costume and character when I worked on The Day Lincoln Was Shot[1], as Robert Lincoln, and posted it to Flickr.

The photo was in a box in the garage, and the years and weather had cracked and faded it a little bit, which I felt was entirely appropriate for the tone of the image.

Over at flickr, one user suggested adding a sepia wash to it, so flickr user trishie10 picked up the metaphorical ball, and did just that, adding some fading and other aging effects to it, too.

What's really cool about this, is because of the Creative Commons license I use, this sort of derivative work is encouraged and entirely legal. I imagine if she did this with an image from a film like Glory that the studio had copyrighted, she may be hit with a nastygram, or some stupid DMCA takedown notice. Instead, thanks to the Commons, she gets a big Thank You from me.

And while I have the page open in another tab, did you know you can see all my (or any flickr user's) flickr favorites in one page? That's a cool way to discover new images that I wasn't aware of until just now.

[1] I'm really proud of this movie, and I think it's quite good. I can't say that about a lot of things I've done in the last ten years (sad, but true) so if you haven't seen it, I recommend picking it up and giving it a look. It's appropriate for about ages nine and up.