WWdN: In Exile

The 2006 Best of WIL WHEATON dot NET:in Exile.

2006 was a very good year. In fact, it was probably the best year I and my family have had since 2003. So, with less than 9 hours remaining, I thought I'd hop in the wayback machine and take a quick look at some of the highlights. Fire it up, Sherman!

I traveled to Montreal, where I saw the beautiful Jardin Botanique de Montreal, and Boston, where I walked the Freedom Trail. They were both places where WWdN readers cared enough about seeing me perform from my books to demand me, and awesome enough to actually show up when I did. I went on CruiseTrek, a trip that I intended to write all about, but never quite found the time or words . . . though I did faithfully recreate prince edward island.

I had my hopes raised about an awesome nerdy TV show that never happened, I attempted and gave up on a podcast (though I got a great ambient tune out of the whole experience, which I made all on my own).

I wrote a story for the Poker Stars blog that I subsequently sold to BLUFF Magazine. I was (surprisingly) cast as one of the leads in the animated short film kyle + rosemary, and I got to play Cosmic Boy on Legion of Super Heroes. I finished twenty-third in the WPT Invitational.

I put together a limited edition chapbook that sold out faster than a jackrabbit on a date. I found a photo of myself and my sides from Star Trek: Nemesis and didn't get sued by Paramount for posting some scans.

I wrote a story about the quest to play Guitar Hero II at E3, and got it published as a feature story in the AV Club. My wife and I did the San Diego Rock-n-Roll Marathon (half of it, anyway) and raised a ton of money for cancer research. We did the Marathon in honor of Anne's friend Kris, who we learned last week is 100% cancer free, partly thanks to a successful stem cell transplant. Go stem cells!

I admitted that, yes, I'm the asshole.

I lived at the Palms in Las Vegas for over most of July and August, writing about (and playing in) the 2006 World Series of Poker. Though it's the sort of writing that appealed only to a narrow segment of the audience, from a pure writing standpoint, I felt like it was the best stuff I wrote all year. I'm positive that much of it will find its way into a book in the future.

I turned 34. I'm officially older than Jesus. My blog turned 5, which is almost as old a Jesus, in Internets years. Star Trek turned 40, which is a billion in Internets years, and older than Jesus and me. I marked the occasion with a bit of a tribute.

iTunes 7 ate all my purchased music, and Apple gave it all back.

My column at the AV Club, Games of our Lives, was awesome, but it was retired before it had a chance to stop being funny. I started hosting InDigital on Revision3. I started a new column reviewing classic Next Generation episodes for TV Squad.
I stopped editing the geek wire at Suicide Girls, and became a featured writer. A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Geek is a bit I wrote there that I'm very proud of. I became a Navigator at Netscape News.

I wrote a statement of conscience. I learned that math is the scariest thing kids can see on Halloween. I watched the entire Star Wars saga in one sitting. I went to SoCal Gen Con and wrote about it for my Geek in Review.

I gave my son permission to read all of my comics. I wrote a shorter version of Open Water. I wondered What would Jesus do.

I added advertising to my RSS feeds. I appreciated the tiny things and how long I've been riding the planet, and found some perspective on beauty and mystery. I got really annoyed at more stupid security theater bullshit and Star Trek: The Next Generation 2.0.

I played a lot of Guitar Hero and reviewed Guitar Hero II. I helped add one more to the Next Generation of Geeks. I celebrated a wonderful little Christmas with my family.

Of course, I wrote about all these things and more, and some of it totally doesn't suck. So here are my favorite posts, which I guess you could call The 2006 Best of WIL WHEATON dot NET:in Exile.

the one about saturday at disneyland.

Nolan rode with Anne, and Ryan went with me. "Do you want to drive?" He said.

"No," I said, "you have your permit now, so let's see how you do."

He laughed and sat down into the car, named "Mac Badger."

The ride operator lowered the safety bar, and we launched out of toad hall, crashing through the library, exploding out of the fireplace, and speeding out into the countryside.

Ryan spun the wheel, while I shouted out, "Look out for the cop!" and "Left! Left! Left!" and "don't drive off the end of the dock!"

We were seriously cracking each other up, and as we burst through the exploding TNT room, I took a mental snapshot of the moment: here we are, on our way to nowhere in particular, laughing like crazy, and enjoying the simple joy that comes with being together.

That's when the ride broke down.

Suddenly, flourescent lights came on, and the magical world of Mister Toad evaporated. From somewhere else in the ride, I heard a voice cry out, "booooo!"

"What?" Ryan said.

"Please stay in your vehicle," a voice said over a loud speaker. "You will be escorted out of the ride shortly."

"Clearly, you broke the ride with your terrible driving," I said.

if i could only make time stand still for a moment

Speakng of caring about characters, Nolan has been absolutely glued to this book called Catalyst by Laurie Halse Anderson. As a writer, parent, and book-lover, I can tell you that there are few things as wonderful as seeing him turn off the TV and walk away from Xbox so he can read this book. Last night, he came up to me with a pale face, and red eyes and said, in a quivering voice, "My book just got really sad. A boy I cared a lot about died."

He could have been telling me about the loss of a friend. I felt like I should hug him.

"I totally understand," I said, and pointed to my copy of The Dark Tower, "One of my favorite characters in this book died about two hundred pages ago, and I felt like I'd lost a friend."

"It's weird how a book can make you feel that way," he said.

"I think it's really wonderful that you are sensitive and intelligent enough to let a writer affect you like that, Nolan," I said, "that makes me feel really good as a writer and as a parent."

"You should totally read this book, Wil," he said, "and Speak, too. You'd really like them."

"Okay," I said, "your recommendation means a lot to me. I'll put them into my pile."

He ran into his room, and came out with Speak. He handed it to me, and I saw what a beautiful forest I was in. I marveled at every single tree.

a dream can mean anything

"Hey, Wil," Ryan said, "can we play D&D?"

"Yeah," Nolan said, "you keep saying that we'll play, but we never do."

"Guys," I said, "you know that I haven't had time to put together an adventure."

Their shoulders slumped.

"But!" I said, "I have an idea that may be even more fun than D&D."

I closed the refrigerator door, and went to the phone to order pizza.

"Go to my Big Trunk of Games, and bring out Munchkin."

I ordered a large pepperoni, and met them at the dining room table. Nolan held the box in his hands.

"So this is just like D&D," I said, "without any of the annoying role playing."

I opened the box, and split the cards into treasure and door piles.

"The thing is," I said, "you can't take this game seriously. At all. Even a little bit. The whole point here is to screw with each other and come up with really lame ways to beat each other up."

"I think I'm going to love this," Ryan said.

Grand Slam 2006 - Day Three

I wandered over to the dealer's room, and took a few pictures. I'm happy to say that I only spent $15 before I left, on the coolest bit of geek ephemera I've seen in a long time (I purchased the d20 keychain) before heading back over to the main auditorium to listen to Ron Moore speak.

I knew Ron was coming to the show, because I'd read it in his blog late Saturday night, and I hoped that I'd get a chance to talk with him one-on-one, but I didn't expect that I'd run right into him backstage before he went on.

He lit up when he saw me for the first time in over fifteen years, and my prepared speech about how I didn't know if he remembered me flew out of my head. In one of those "hand on the car" moments, a series of images flashed through my mind in an instant, as I recalled some of the things he did for my character: Yesterday's Enterprise, the first time I got to do something really different on the bridge; The First Duty, the first (and only) time we saw Wesley interact with his peers, act his age, and witness his angst-ridden humanity; and Journey's End, the first (and only) time we saw Wesley as an adult, willing to take a principled stand against his father figure, Captain Picard. I felt a surge of emotion well up in my chest, and before I knew the words were coming out of my mouth, I said, "When we worked together on TNG, I was too young, and too immature to appreciate what you gave me as an actor, and what you did for my character. I know it's fifteen years late, but I wanted to say thank you."

He smiled warmly. "Thank you," he said. "It really means a lot to me to hear that."

climb so high and gain so low

I kept thinking about the Road. When I knew what my Road was, I knew where my Road was, and I knew how to get back on it. I wasn't as far off it as I thought, in fact. I just had to turn the wheel and step on the gas. It also helped to drive with my eyes open for a change.

My Road is paved with d20s and TRON DVDs and Atari 2600 games. It's lit by the glow of TNG and BSG episodes and the soundtrack is by Vangelis. It's patrolled by Rover and they sell Soylent Green in the rest stop vending machines. The speed limit is 42, but if you flash your Bavarian Illuminati card, you can use the FTL drive to make it to Milliways in time for dinner.

gazing through trees in sorrow hardly a sound till tomorrow

I can connect with that memory right now as if I'm watching it on a television all over again: Gene presents me with his bars, everyone breaks out into applause, and I feel like I really didn't deserve it -- I was just an actor, after all.

I was too young and immature to fully absorb the magnitude of the gesture, but I recall that Gene shook my hand, then pulled me into him for a big hug, and I felt that sense of pride and embarassment that you get when your dad brags on you in front of everyone at the family reunion for making the final out that won the All-City Championship, but you secretly know that you just held up your glove and the ball managed to find its way into the pocket.

my mind is filled with silvery star

When I was in my very early teens, I had one of those massive teenage crushes that consumes your every waking moment and requires you to listen to endless hours of The Smiths in your bedroom wondering why she doesn't like you "in that way." This particular crush was on Kyra, who was so beautiful, and so smart, and so cool, and so a senior when I was a freshman it was never going to happen. Kyra introduced me to The Smiths (on Vinyl, no less), the Violent Femmes (in her BMW 2002 while we were driving to see Harvey at a local college) and was goth before goth was goth. Though I had such a massive crush on her, we were great friends, and she never broke my heart.

parked under the sunsphere

I've always felt that, as a parent, my job (and greatest hope) is to help my kids grow into the kind of adult that I'd be proud of, and I'd like to spend time with, even if we weren't family: honest, honorable, generous, compassionate, and responsible. Sometimes, as part of the whole Pod People experience, I feel like those efforts are failing. Add the bonus of the really great and neverending loyalty conflict game (that I refuse to play, but have to deal with, anyway,) and it's easy to wonder if any of the work will ever pay off. It's been easy to lose hope.

But over the last couple of months, I've come to believe that the Pods were actually Chrysalises, because it feels like both Ryan and Nolan have emerged as young adults whose company I really enjoy (and I believe the feeling is mutual.) The moments of irrationality are still there, and I'm sure that I am still so lame from time to time, but I have lots and lots of hope.

i meant every word i said

"Yes! I get to put on Live Aid!" Ryan said. He started toward the living room.

"Uh, wait." I said, "we haven't reached consensus."

"Oh, we totally have, Wil," he said with a grin, "you're 25% in favor, and mom, Nolan, and I are 75% opposed. We have a majority."

I was done. I'd lost, and now it was time to take it like a man.

"Dude, I have, uhm, extra . . . uh . . . powers." I said.

"What?" Ryan said.

"Yeah, I went up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start," I said.

"Okay," Ryan said, "so you get extra lives on Contra. What does that have to do with the radio?"

close your eyes and then its past

I grew up in a tract home in the Northeastern San Fernando Valley. All the homes around us were some variation of stucco with asphalt shingle roofs and dark wooden shutters stuck onto the sides of the street-facing windows. If you've seen E.T., you've seen houses just like the ones I grew up in. Another 1980s film that features a house just like mine is Poltergeist. This is the only movie that still scares the everlivingjesusfuck out of me, and every time I hear Kaja Goo Goo's Too Shy, it reminds me of the afternoon I watched it with my older cousins, stretched out on the floor of our den after swimming in our pool all morning in the middle of summer.

Real Love/It's Only Life

Anne came home. I heard her hang up her keys on the mirror by the front door. "Where's Wil?" She said to Ferris. I'm pretty sure Ferris said nothing in return. A minute or so later, she walked into my office.

"Hey, why's the house so clean?" She said.

"Oh," I said, "I was writing."

blue light special

As if commanded by some unseen puppet master, my hand shot out and grabbed the nearest figure from the rack.

"I'm getting this one," I said. "This one is awesome."

"Ha! Take that, mom! Nobody is going to trick me into responsibly saving my money!"

"Okay, put it in the cart and let's go."

I looked down at the package in my hands, and saw my triumphant purchase: Lando Calrissian.

In my head, I thought of the worst curse word I could muster the courage to think.

maybe you can just enjoy the tour

Just outside the door of the office, I ran into an old friend who is a tremendous actor. He'll probably want to remain nameless, but I'll just say that you'd know him if you saw him, and you may even think better of me for knowing him.

We talked for a minute about life, the universe, and everything.

"Hey," he said, "how is it in there?"

We actors always ask each other this question, because even though we're competing for the same roles, when you divide the world into Us and Them, we have to stick together.

"It's a great room," I said. "It's always a great room in there. They'll make you feel welcome and it's not like this -- " I crossed my arms across my chest and frowned, "at all."

"That's a relief," he said. Then, "Hey, I, uh, wanted you to know that I read both of your books."

Really?

"Really?"

"Yeah." He said, "and I wanted you to know that I loved them both. As an actor, and as someone who's known you for as long as I have, I want you to know that you really inspired me."

"That is . . ." I said. "Uh. Jesus. Thank you."

You're doing more than this," he pointed to the buildings around us, "and what you're doing really matters."

dream country

Over the first eight issues, I could relate to Dream's persecution, and his imprisonment, and I was intrigued by his power -- if this guy could march straight into Hell and win a battle of wits with a demon, maybe I could walk into a convention or a game shop and suffer the slings and +5 arrows of insecure geeks.

Dream was cool and he was sexy and he was mysterious, and cerebral and unflappable, and powerful and Endless. He was all the things I still want to be, and when I read Sandman, when I was in those pages, when I was in the world Neil Gaiman created and artists like Sam Keith & Mike Dringenberg and letterers like Todd Klein brought to life, it didn't matter that I was afraid of girls (besides, none of the girls I knew in real life were as sexy or smart or patient as Death, anyway) and it didn't matter that Trekkies treated me like shit because I was Wesley Crusher.

Though the year had its ups and downs, (my biggest struggle was finding Balance, something exacerbated by a lack of time) when everything is counted (in large amounts) it was a great year for me and my family. I almost had more work than I could handle, and I'm very proud of the stuff I've created, but more than anything else, as I look back on 2006 . . .

"You know why 2006 was so awesome?" I just said to my wife.

"Why?"

"Because my relationship with Ryan and Nolan grew twelve levels. A lot of other things happened, but if I had to pick just one thing, there it is."

Happy New Year, everyone. Thanks for spending some of 2006 with me.

Heroes and Villains

I saw the "What Superhero are you?" quiz at Jason's blog, and my damn curiosity got the better of me, so I took it. Though I was hoping for Green Lantern or Batman (though I totally know I'm not dark enough for Batman), I got Spiderman. It's a little freaky how accurate the description is, I think.

You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 80% The Flash 70% Green Lantern 60% Iron Man 60% Superman 55% Catwoman 50% Hulk 50% Supergirl 45% Robin 35% Wonder Woman 35% Batman 30%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

And for those days when I'm feeling more in touch with my evil side . . . I'm Dr. Doom. I was really hoping for Lex Luthor, but I'll totally settle for ruling Latervia and wearing power armor when I kick the asses of all who oppose me.

You are Dr. Doom

Dr. Doom 77% Lex Luthor 54% Apocalypse 53% Mr. Freeze 53% Magneto 50% Mystique 44% Venom 39% The Joker 37% Green Goblin 36% Juggernaut 36% Two-Face 36% Catwoman 31% Riddler 30% Poison Ivy 29% Kingpin 23% Dark Phoenix 17%

Blessed with smarts and power but burdened by vanity.

Click here to take the "Which Super Villain am I?" quiz...

John Gabriel's Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory

John Gabriel's Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory is as true now it ever was, and is a useful corollary to xkcd's YouTube comic.

(via Ryan Tomayko's blog)

The Good Shepherd

Anne and I saw The Good Shepherd yesterday, and it's in my top 5 movies of 2006, maybe even in my top 3. In fact, the only movies I think I liked as much were The Departed and Little Miss Sunshine. (That's not to say that there weren't lots of great movies out in 2006; it's just that I only saw a handful of them.) It's long, though: 2 hours and 40 minutes, and it's densely-packed enough that you can't really get up to pee without missing something important, so don't load up on Green Tea (like I did) before the film.

Everything about this movie satisfied me, from the script to the cinematography, to the editing and directing, to every single performance. Matt Damon is brilliant (like he is in everything he does) and I admitted to myself yesterday that I am equally admiring and envious of him and his career. He gets such great opportunities to do such magnificent roles, and he always lives up to the demands of the role. If I thought that I could work my way back into that realm of the industry, where I can compete for roles like that and one day work with actors like Matt Damon, it would almost be worth it to go back to the miserable frustrating and ultimately depressing experience of auditioning several times a week.

An interesting thing that I noticed about the film: if you see a commercial for the movie, you'll see something like, "'The Godfather of spy movies!' - Newsweek" . . . which, according to the film's Wikipedia page, isn't exactly accurate:

David Ansen in his Newsweek review wrote, "For the film's mesmerizing first 50 minutes I thought De Niro might pull off the The Godfather of spy movies... Still, even if the movie's vast reach exceeds its grasp, it's a spellbinding history lesson."

The way I understand that, he's saying that it almost makes it as The Godfather of spy movies, but even though it doesn't quite get there, it's still good. That's pretty different from saying that it's The Godfather of spy movies, isn't it? I don't know why the studio's PR department needed to misuse that quote, because the film stands entirely on its own and doesn't need a misleading ad campaign to get people into theaters; word of mouth and the intriguing trailers should do just fine.

Anyway, I highly recommend it; it's the Goodfellas of spy movies.

more numbers stations

If you were intrigued by my numbers station post a while ago, you'll definitely want to read this story about the numbers from today's Washington Post. It has all the usual information about the Lincolnshire Poacher, and the station we call V2, which probably comes out of Cuba, but it has new information I've never seen in another story before: official recognition by the the US that numbers stations are, indeed, intended for spies:

While hobbyists guess at the meaning of each cryptic message or which spy service sent it, it's no mystery to intelligence officials, who confirmed the purpose is espionage.

The signals are too strong to be made by amateurs and are often on licensed frequencies. The State Department once complained to the Israeli Embassy in Washington that "E10" was blocking a U.S. broadcast, a source said.

"I can't imagine who else would waste the time in front of a microphone reading numbers" but a spy, said James Bamford, who has written about intelligence. Bamford calls number stations "simple but effective" spycraft.

"It's extremely effective," agreed a senior intelligence official. "If you have a one-time pad, the code can't be broken, and you can send out dummy broadcasts as much as you want to confuse your enemy."

(via Slashdot)

something shimmering and bright

Mortal as I am, I know that I am born for a day. But when I follow at my pleasure the serried multitude of the stars in their circular course, my feet no longer touch the earth.
    - Ptolemy

I love backyard astronomy. Ever since I got my first telescope -- a rather unwieldy 15" Dobsonian-mounted monster that's taller than me, but delivers absolutely spectacular views of deep sky objects -- I've loved to take a star chart, the red flashlight, and head out into a dark location to see what's up.

I have the Petersen's guide, the Rough Guide to the Universe , H.A. Rey's really wonderful The Stars: A New Way to See Them, and a few virtual planetariums that I use to plan an evening's viewing, like Stellarium and KStars.

While I rarely drag the huge telescope out of the garage any more (it's just too big to really be practical) I frequently take a blanket out back, a pair of binoculars, and play "find that Messier object."

If you're into this sort of thing like I am, you may be as excited as I was to read about a Free ebook offered for download called What's Up?

If you like the weekly “What’s Up this Week” column in Universe Today, you’ll love this. The entire viewing schedule for 2007 is available as a free, 410+ downloadable ebook. You can download the whole book, turn to the page for tonight’s suggestions - print off the page and head outside.

It's 24MB, and it's in .pdf format, so you can easily print it out or view it in a variety of readers. It offers different celestial destinations and observations for every night, along with historical and scientific information about the stars and planets, but it's much, much more than just a guide. It's beautifully written (Look at January 3rd, for an example) and educates as it challenges the reader. If you're looking to get your kids excited about astronomy, review a day's entry, then take them out that night and tell them, as they look at the Full Wolf Moon:

In Europe it was referred to as the Moon after Yule and 387 years ago on  this night, Galileo Galilei changed the face of astronomy when he observed it. Pointing his newly developed telescope at our nearest celestial neighbor, his observation of mountains and craters on the surface opened the world’s eyes to what lay just beyond the range of human sight. Said Galileo, “It is a beautiful and delightful sight to behold the body of the Moon."

As you can probably tell, I love astronomy, I love history, and I love science, so it was only natural that I'd love this book, and I'm delighted that the author is offering it for free. If you're the type of person who likes to support this sort of thing, you can also buy a copy of the book in dead tree format for $25.

Clear skies, everyone!

(via Netscape News)

Geek in Review: The Next Generation of Geeks

This week's Geek in Review started out as a commentary on how computers, which were supposed to give us more free time, seem to have done just the opposite. With our cell phones, Blackberrys, constant access to the Internets, and a globally-connected world that never really sleeps, it seems like we're expected (and able) to do more than we were before. It's like adding roads in SimCity to try and alleviate traffic: the cars will just expand to fill the available space, and before you know it, you have a traffic 'copter and there's a monster stomping through your stadium.

But when I started writing that, my stream of consciousness took me to an entirely different place: while I don't have as much free time as I once did, what little free time I do have I spend with my kids, who, I realized as I was writing, reflect an awful lot of my geekiness back at me.

So I wrote about how I helped add +2 to The Next Generation of Geeks:

There was a time when I wondered if I'd ever be able to make strong bonds with my stepkids because I don't have that sports gene that most guys have. "I can't throw a curveball to save my life, but I can throw a d20 to save vs. poison," I once said to a friend of mine . . . and instantly realized that instead of trying to be someone I wasn't, and instead of trying to play into the typical "fathers play sports" thing, I could just share with my kids the things that I love, that made me who I am today. I carefully introduced my boys to the geeky things that shaped my life.

The Newswire is SFW, if a little suggestive today, so there ya go.

really cool photo mosaic image making thingy

You know those cool photo mosaic thingies, where you get one big picture, but it's actually made up of hundreds of little pictures? It's sort of the 2000's equivalent of the 1990s Magic Eye posters in the mall.

I was Netscapin' this morning, and came across this bookmark, which goes to an Image Mosaic Making Thing, which lets you upload your own pictures and turn them into image mosaic thingies, like mine right there. The higher the contrast in the original image, the better the mosaic result. Also, I converted this from 1.4MB  file to a 32K .jpg (you're welcome, dial-up users) but if you simply must burn my bandwidth and see the full-sized file, you may click it to embiggen.

I recall reading somewhere that there's a tool you can use to build these using your own images, but if you're just interested in getting one made quickly and easily, this is a dangerously fun way to avoid being productive.

loud dumb people

This is probably my favorite xkcd of . . . well, ever. xkcd always makes me laugh because it's smart, funny, and true, but this one is just dead on perfect.

YouTube, MySpace, and parents who give their children unsupervised and unlimited access to the Internets has brought around the Eternal September all over again.

which linux distro is best for new users?

As a Linux advocate, I am frequently asked by all sorts of people which particular brand of Linux is "best" for a new user.

It's a deceptively simple question, and if you ask ten different nerds, you'll probably get ten different answers. If you're lucky (and you don't ask a ponytail) you won't have to listen to endure a forty minute diatribe about how everyone should be able to modify software however they want, and how much "winblows" sucks, including several highly-technical and detailed reasons to support this claim.

Whenever someone asks me, I typically answer something like, "The best one is the one that works best for you. As a new user, I suggest something easy to install configure, like Ubuntu or Fedora. Ubuntu is my distro of choice, and I especially like how I can take a live CD into the store and test out hardware with it. Also, you're standing awfully close to me, man. So could you back off?"

There's a great discussion at Slashdot today about this very subject. If you're interested in trying Linux out, and you read it at +5, you may find some information that's really useful, or at least entertaining.