Yesterday, I woke up feeling about 50% of normal. It's the closest I've felt to normal since I went in for surgery, so it was a huge improvement. I got all the way up to about 70% by the late afternoon, but was back down to 50% by the time I went to bed.
I feel pretty much the same, this morning (maybe slightly better than last,) and all kinds of brown goo is coming out of my nose, so I guess I'm healing up and my body is kicking shit out that needs to get out. This is probably why I'm feeling steadily better.
I miss writing and blogging, but I have to assume that following my doctor's instructions and fully embracing Operation Do Absolutely Nothing But Watch TV And Sleep has a lot to do with the massive turn for the better I've taken in the last 24 hours.
I almost ruined everything, though, last week. Anne was out at a class, and my back was hurting from sitting at a 30 degree angle for several days in a row, so I thought I'd take a warm bath to relax it. Still hopped up on painkillers and shit, I made the bath too hot, and by the time I realized that I was sweating like Roger Ebert (about 15 minutes later) and got out, the damage had been done: the hot water relaxed my back, but it also relaxed all the blood vessels in my body -- including the ones in my sinuses that we want to keep, uh, not relaxed and not bleeding -- and was, according to my doctor, "the absolute worst thing" I could have done for recovery. In 15 minutes, I undid about a week's worth of healing, had a massive sinus headache, blood coming out of my face, and generally felt like shit.
I was furious with myself for being so stupid, which raised my blood pressure, which made me bleed more, which made me more mad, which made my headache worse . . . you can see where this is going. It took me two days to fully calm down and accept that I did something profoundly stupid, had nobody to blame but myself, and would just have to wait it out until my body undid the damage and put me back where I was before The Bathtub Incident.
(Oh, and for a big bonus, the swelling I gave myself made me snore again, pretty much canceling out one of the main reasons I had the surgery in the first place, and forcing me out of my own bed so Anne could get a good night's sleep, which she needs now more than ever, because she is doing literally everything in our house while I sit on the couch.)
So when I woke up yesterday morning, feeling better than I have in the last three weeks, it was worthy of some celebration! I moved from one side of the couch to the other, and there was much rejoicing.
I feel congested on the left side this morning, which is where my body is dumping the brown goo. I'm pretty sure this qualifies as progress, but it's also kind of gross. I was hoping to upgrade my status today to 60% of normal or better, but I think I have to be realistic and stay at 50%. At least I don't feel irritable and irrational any more. That was really getting to be a problem for me.
I see my doctor again tomorrow, and if everything looks good, I'm supposed to get my stitches and splints out, and there will probably be some vacuuming of goo out of my head as well. If I'm real lucky, I'll be cleared to drive and start getting back to my life.
Oh! I've been able to fucos enough to read again, so I've been re-reading Dark Knight Returns (in Absolute form) and I started The Atrocity Archives. The Atrocity Archives is fucking brilliant, and as much fun to read as advertised. I highly recommend it.
It's absolutely beautiful here today. I think I'll suspend Operation Just Watch TV and throw the switch on Operation Sit In The Sun And Read A Book On The Patio For An Hour Or So.
