WWdN: In Exile

I'm saying this for the last time: HIS. NAME. IS. AEOFEL!

I've been pointing out new episodes of the D&D/Penny Arcade/PvP/Me podcast on Twitter, but since the third series draws to a close today, I thought I'd catch up, and then share some thoughts on the final episode.

My last post took us up to episode three, so...

Episode Four:

In this episode, the battle continues in full against Thazin Stormbellow, guardian of the Ambershard mausoleum. That sleeping boar? No longer sleeping…

Episode Five:

In this episode, the members of Acquisitions Incorporated learn about the death and dying rules… but does it concern them, the boar, or the dwarf? They also learn that intimidating a bloodied enemy may force that enemy to surrender… may. And finally, they learn the might of a solo monster—essentially, four monsters wrapped in one.

Episode Six:

Acquisitions Incorporated prepares for their ultimate fight against Leer of the Ambershard Dwarves. As they approach the upper chambers, will they simply bust in and take the guards out? Or quietly bar the other doors, and take a sneakier approach?

Episode Seven:

What's left, but for Aeofel to throw his dagger at the fleeing Leer… and he's thankful he did, despite missing. For the dagger hangs in midair, as if suspended in something… unseen.

Episode Eight:

"At least you're not in the acid pit…."

All caught up? If you're ready, follow me past the jump, where it's SPOILER-TASTIC!

a spiffy rules variant for munchkin

I'm making myself a little crazy trying to write a column about gaming, gamers, gaming conventions, and why they all add up to mean so much to me. It's not that I can't find the words but – well, maybe it is that I can't find the words. Or, more accurately, I can't find enough words, because I can sum it all up like this: "When I'm gaming, I feel like I am with my tribe."

Hurm. Maybe that's a good launching point, and I can get a little more in-depth from there. (Related: Damn you, Twitter, for making me able to say just about everything I want to say in just 140 characters.)

So speaking of gaming, when I was at RinCon last weekend, I played a couple of memorable games of Munchkin. One of them was an official event called Czar Munchkin that, as the name implies, featured a table of us gamers versus the official Munchkin Czar, who happens to be my friend (and editor of all my books) Andrew. Through some exceptionally munchkin-y behavior, I ended up winning the game, making my Munchkin Convention Play record a perfect 2-0. w00t. Go me.

That game was a lot of fun, and Andrew ran it as a Child's Play fundraiser (what a great idea, Andrew! Great minds think alike!) so we raised even more shiny gold rocks while we played.

The other game I played happened in the lobby of our hotel, where we tried out some variant rules that Andrew wanted to playtest with me and some of our other friends. I can't disclose all the different rules we tried, but one of the ones I really liked was announced in today's Daily Illuminator at SJ Games:

Rules Variant - Listening at the Door

We've been trying out this variant Munchkin rule and figured we'd throw it out for y'all to play around with.

At the start of your turn, draw a face-down Door card ("Listening at the Door"). You may now rearrange your items, do trades, or whatever. Then you Kick Down a Door (starting combat if there's a monster) and your turn proceeds normally . . . except that if you Loot The Room, you draw a face-down Treasure instead of a Door.

I had a great time playing with this variant, because it meant we burned through a lot of cards in a short amount of time (using the original classic set only, we shuffled each deck at least once, and I think we did treasures twice.) I have several expansions, and while it's fun to add new cards to the game, it's also a drag to end up with so many cards, you don't get to see them all. Playing with this rule means you get to see more cards, and it increases the chances of serious mayhem by some number you'd get if you rolled percentile dice.

If you're still reading, you probably play the game, so I think you'll appreciate this: Andrew was at level 9, and seemed poised to win the game, so the rest of us teamed up to defeat him. As it turned out, though, we were just delaying the inevitable.

Andrew was a Cleric, and went after me. On my turn, I looked for trouble, and fought (and defeated) the Floating Nose to get myself to level 9. Andrew resurrected the Floating Nose on his turn, and announced that he was fighting it for the win. We did the usual things with whatever cards we had left, and when it appeared that we were going to hold him off for at least another round, he played the Potion of Halitosis to beat the Floating Nose and win the game. It was delightfully silly and Munchkiny, too, because he could have just played the cards together, but he made us all go through our hands and gave us just a little bit of hope, before he dashed it all to hell.

Munchkin seems to be one of those games that really divides gamers into seriously polarized camps. I know it's not for everyone, but I just love it, because it's just so silly.

Hey look! It's the promo for my episode of The Big Bang Theory!

Holy. Carp. Wil's Mind = BLOWN.

This is the coolest thing I've seen all day. I can't believe that CBS chose to make the promo for next week's episode all about me! It's a huge honor, because it means someone at CBS thinks I'm worth audience. 

I've also heard from two friends who have seen screeners of the show, and – even though I like to always keep expectations nice and low – they both said that the whole episode is hilarious.

(via htbhomas on Twitter)

everything you ever wanted to know about w00tstock (but were afraid to ask)

I'm not going to lie to you, Marge: I'm pretty damn excited for w00tstock next week. It's one of those things where it simultaneously feels like years and seconds ago that Paul (of Paul and Storm) called me and said something like, "do you want to do a show together?"

"Yes. Yes I do."

"Wouldn't it be awesome if we got Adam Savage to be in the show with us?"

"Yes. Yes it would."

"Well guess what?"

"What?"

"He is."

"Nailed it."

And just like that, w00tstock was born.

The idea was to put on an evening of unique geek-friendly performances from some of your favorite geek-friendly performers, wrap it all up in a nice musical and joke-filled package, and then vanish into the night like leaves on an autumn wind. Because that wasn't cool enough, we went through our oh-so-impressive address books, and invited some truly phenomenal friends to join us as special guests, unique to each performance. I don't want to give everything (and by everything, I mean anything) away, but I've seen the setlist, and HOLY CARP.

Hey, want to see the poster for w00tstock v1.0-v1.1? 

I know, right? Wouldn't it be great to get those robots on a T-shirt, or get a poster for your very own? Don't worry your pretty little head about it, baby, we're way ahead of you.

Now, onto the part of the post where I go crazy with the bolding, including information about our announced special guests:

w00tstock 1.0 - Monday, October 19. Swedish American Hall in San Francisco. (SOLD OUT!)

Special Guests: sketch comedy group Kasper Hauser; singer/songwriter Molly Lewis; singer/beatboxer/game inventor/all-around creative person Kid Beyond.

wootstock v1.0.1 - Tuesday, October 20. Swedish American Hall in San Francisco. (NOT SOLD OUT!)

Special Guests: singer/songwriter Molly Lewis; singer/beatboxer/game inventor/all-around creative person Kid Beyond.

wootstock 1.1 - Wednesday, October 21. Largo at the Coronet in Los Angeles. (ALSO NOT SOLD OUT!)

Special Guests: screenwriter Josh A. Cagan (Bandslam); singer/songwriter Molly Lewis; actor Jeff Lewis (”Vork” form webseries “The Guild“); several extra-special guests that we are not allowed to name, but we swear are awesome!

Night one in SF is sold out, but there are still seats available for night two. Also, there are seats still open for our show in Los Angeles, which is going to blow your frakking mind. Though I don't want to give anything away, fans of The Guild will not want to miss it. Oh, how I wish I could tell you who else will be dropping in for the Los Angeles show, but we are expressly forbidden from saying or even hinting at who they are for various reasons. However, if you close your eyes and ask yourselves, "Hey, who does Wil know who lives in Los Angeles and would fit right into a geek-friendly show?" you may be able to get some ideas.

I've been asked by fives of people if I'll have books for sale at these shows. Sadly, I wasn't able to get them in time, but if you have your own, and you bring it, I'll be happy to scrawl my name across it.

If you have any further questions that you were afraid to ask, head to the comments and do your thing. I'll answer them as they come up.

Oh, last thing: If you want w00tstock to come to your town (or at least a town that's closer to you than SF or LA) tell your friends who are in LA or SF to come see us, because if these shows do well, it will pretty much guarantee that we take this on the road next year.

PDF version of Memories of the Future Volume One available now

Before I get to the "Hey, I released Memories as a PDF because you asked for it" portion of this post, I wanted to share some early feedback on Memories of the Future Volume One:

"@wilw's MEMORIES OF THE FUTURE is my TNG DVD commentary of choice. Fun and funny and a blast to read all around. nice work, man." - Matt Fraction

"If you remember ST:TNG with equal amounts of nostalgia and facepalm, you need @wilw's new book, MEMORIES OF THE FUTURE." - Antony Johnston.

"Wil is a funny writer, and funny writers can make anything entertaining, including reviews of Star Trek episodes, especially when he was acting in them as a kid and forced to wear the worst clothes anyone outside of a max-security prisoner or someone from the 1970s forced to wear. I therefore commend your attention to this book as a Funny and also Interesting book that is otherwise about a tv series I wouldn’t go out of my way to watch. Put another way: I wouldn’t keep the tv episodes in the house, but I would keep the book. Yes? Yes." - Warren Ellis. (Who, incidentally, is responsible for the title of the book. Thanks, Uncle Warren.)

Excuse me while I squee, just a little bit...

...and now we're on to business:

In case you missed it on Twitter yesterday, I have made Memories of the Future Volume One available for DRM-free PDF download. It's just $10, and it's available from Lulu.

I had planned to wait a week, so the digital release could coincide with Monday's podcast, but so many people were asking for it – especially people who can afford $10 but not $19.87 and people who are in far off lands where packages are still delivered by steam-powered autogyro – I went ahead and released it last night.

When I did the PDF version of Sunken Treasure, I wrote a FAQ for it. The FAQs are pretty much the same, so...

Q: Can I read it on my iPhone?
A: Yeah, it's a regular old PDF file, so it will totally work on your iPhone's PDF reader.

Q:How will it look on my iPhone, though?
A: I don't own an iPhone, so I can't say from firsthand experience, but I've heard from a lot of people who have read it on their iPhones, and they were happy with the experience. Trying to read it in Stanza is wonky, though.

Q: What about other formats?
A: I'm looking into it. I know lots of people want it for [DEVICE THEY OWN] and when I have the time, I'll figure out a way to make those formats available. At the moment, though, it's not my top priority.

Q: Why not just sell it through Amazon for the Kindle?
A: I may eventually do that, but right now I don't know if I can sell enough copies to make up for the massive cut of revenue I'd have to give Amazon. I'm happy as hell to be selling in the hundreds, but if I went that way, I'd have to either increase the price significantly, or hope to sell in the thousands. I'm not sure that there are thousands of people who a) want to read this and b) also own Kindles.

Q: If I buy this, can I convert it to a different format?
A: Sure. You can use calibre to convert it to a ton of different formats. Calibre is free (speech and beer) by the way. Incidentally, if you're one of the Kindle owners, you can use calibre to convert the PDF to a Kindle format. People who bought Sunken Treasure on PDF used Calibre to convert it to Kindle format, and the images I saw from them looked fantastic.

Q: I already bought the print version. Can I get a copy of the digital version?
A: Sure you can. It's just ten bucks.

Q: I see what you did there.
A: That's not a question, but thanks.

Q: Can I give this to my friend/husband/wife/mom/girl or boy I'm trying to impress?
A: Once you have it, I can't stop you from doing whatever you want with it, and I certainly wouldn't expect you to treat it any differently than you would a paper book. However, I hope that we all understand the difference between sharing with our friends/spouses/famies and "sharing" with an entire forum, or hundreds of people simultaneously. I'm not trying to be a dick about this, and I'd rather people read it than not, but it's only $10, you know? 

Q: If I buy this, can I make my own print copy?
A: As long as you don't sell it, absolutely. However, the economics of it may work out to make it cheaper for you to just buy the print copy. Having said that, if a print shop doesn't want to print it for you, show them this: I give you permission to make one printed copy of Memories of the Future, Volume One, for personal, non-commercial use.

Q: If I make my own print copy and bring it to a con, will you sign it for me?
A: Hells yes I will. That'd be pretty cool, actually.

Given recent events, some of you reading this may be surprised to hear that I remain committed to releasing my books in non-DRM digital formats. For those who have chosen to make me some kind of proxy target for our totally justifiable outrage at the insanity of the RIAA and MPAA over the last decade, I guess that would be a surprise. But consider this, which I wrote when I released Sunken Treasure in a digital format:

[After I released the PDF,] I admit that I had a brief flash of doubt. "Did I just screw myself? Did I just sell one and end up giving away a hundred?"

"No," I reminded myself. "People who will steal from me were never going to support my work, anyway. You're doing the right thing. You're making it available to people at a really fair price, in a super portable format. And maybe people will like it and want a paper copy for themselves or to give as gifts."

I hoped that PDF sales would be solid ... well, they were solid, for about ten minutes, and then they exploded. In less than an hour, the total PDFs sold exceed 1/5 of the total print copies sold. People were e-mailing positive feedback, people were Twittering positive feedback, and people were starting to talk about it on their blogs.

"Okay, this is awesome," I thought. "I definitely did the right thing."

I realize that the same people who claim I've lost all credibility due to my unhappiness at recent events may have a hard time reconciling this with my disappointment at seeing unauthorized copies of my work being distributed by douchebags who want to profit from it. I'm not going to spend a lot of time trying to change their minds, which appear to be made up, and stuck in an infinite loop arguing the semantics of the word "steal."

To everyone else, though, I hope you'll enjoy the book in whatever format you choose, and once you've had a chance to read it, you'll let me know – honestly – what you think. Thank you, so very, very much for your support! I am doing everything I can to continue earning it.

In which Memories of the Future Volume One is released

I am beyond excited to announce the release of my newest book, Memories of the Future, Volume One.

I worked harder on this book than anything since Just a Geek, and it wouldn't have been possible without a bunch of people, who I thank in the book, but wanted to thank here, as well:

Andrew Hackard, Brent Spiner, David Gerrold, Jamais Cascio, John Rogers, Keith McDuffee, Memory Alpha, Phil Plait, Will Hindmarch, .tws, everyone who read and commented on my original posts at TV Squad, and especially to my wife and kids, who watched more TNG than they ever thought possible while I was working on this.

If you've just heard about Memories of the Future for the first time, and are wondering what it is, I'd like to share the introduction with you, which I think explains the whole thing rather well:

Introduction to Memories of the Future

In August 2006, Brad Hill, an editor at Weblogs, Inc., hired me to write humorous reviews of Star Trek: The Next Generation from my unique point of view as an actor and a fan of the show.

I started at the beginning of the first season, re-watching episodes that I hadn’t seen in a decade or longer, faithfully recording and sharing the memories they released. Along the way, I came up with some silly episode recaps, and an interesting perspective on the first season, twenty years after we brought it to life. The columns were very well-received, and tons of readers asked me if they’d be collected into a book. I didn’t plan on it originally, but AOL cut TV Squad’s budget before I’d even made it to the halfway point of the first year, and I decided that putting the entire season into a book wasn’t just a good way to finish the season, it was a moral imperative.

A few months after I began working on this book in earnest, at the 2009 Nebula awards dinner, I sat at a table with David Gerrold, who is best-known for writing the original series classic The Trouble With Tribbles. (Fun fact: David wrote and sold The Trouble with Tribbles when he was 19. My wife Anne asked him how he had the courage to do that, and David told her, "Because nobody told me I couldn't." That's so awesome, and everyone who is creative should commit that to memory.)

We were talking about all kinds of writerly stuff, and I mentioned to David that I was working on this book. As I started to describe it to him, I could see that he wasn't into it, but was too polite to tell me why.

After a minute, he said, "You have to be careful with your tell-all book..."

"Ah, that's why he wasn't into it." I thought.

"It's not a tell-all book. I hate those things," I said. "It's more like you're flipping through your high school yearbook with your friends."

I called on all my improv skills and held an imaginary book in my hands.

"It's like, 'Hey! I remember this, and I remember that, and did you know that this funny thing happened there, and ... oh God ... I can't believe I thought that was cool...'"

His face lit up. "That sounds like a book I'd like to read."

Here it is, David. I hope you enjoy it. (Additional fun fact: David Gerrold suggested me for the role of Wesley. If he hadn't done that, I don't know that I'd have ever voluntarily worn a pumpkin-colored sweater.

Despite that, though, I'm extremely grateful to David for convincing Bob Justman and Gene Roddenberry to take a chance on me.)

Volume One takes you from the pilot to Datalore. Volume Two will take you from Angel One to The Neutral Zone. During our journey together, we’ll certainly be going where no one has gone before, except those times when we go 20% to the left of where the original series went and talk about stuff a whole bunch without actually doing anything ... but that’s part of what makes the first season so much fun to watch, especially knowing how greatThe Next Generation eventually became.

Put on your shoulder pads, set a course for 1987, emit an inverse-tacyon pulse into the heart of the anomaly, and engage! By Riker’s beard, you shall be avenged! (Um, as soon as Riker’s beard shows up, next season.)

Namaste,

Wil Wheaton
Pasadena
June 2009

Man, I can't believe I wrote that all the way back in June. This really has taken a long time to get across the finish line, hasn't it?

For the last six weeks, I've been doing podcast previews from the book. I think they're pretty amusing, and they're also a pretty good way to figure out if this book is something you'll enjoy:

• Memories of the Futurecast Episode 1 Encounter at Farpoint, Part One
• Memories of the Futurecast Episode 2 Encounter at Farpoint, Part Two
• Memories of the Futurecast Episode 3 The Naked Now
• Memories of the Futurecast Episode 4 Code of Honor
• Memories of the Futurecast Episode 5 The Last Outpost
• Memories of the Futurecast Episode 6 Where No One Has Gone Before

I've also put up an extensive preview on the book's product page at Lulu, so you can take a look inside the book and read the chapters that cover Encounter at Farpoint Part 1 and Justice. If you have this thing called The Internet, you can also read the chapters in their original, unedited form at TV Squad.

There are bound to be some FAQS about this book, so let me attempt to answer a few of them now:

Q: Will there be an audiobook?

A: Maybe. I'm hopeful that this book sells well enough to justify the amount of time and energy that goes into creating an audio version.

Q: Will there be a digital version, a version for my Kindle, or [my electronic reading device]?

A: Probably.

Q: When?

A: Soon. 

Q: Why not now?

A: Because I haven't decided how I want to release a digital version (how to make different formats available or just do the PDF that is easy at Lulu) and what a fair price for it will be.

New Answer: Yes. The PDF is $10 at Lulu, on the same page where you can order the print version. Enjoy!

Q: Can I buy a signed copy?

A: Well, you can buy a copy and bring it to a con or something, and I'll be happy to sign it for you there, but since this is printed on-demand, when you order it, there's no way for me to sign it before it makes its way into your hands, tentacles, clamps, or whatever you use to hold a book.

Q: Will there be a 300 like you did for The Happiest Days of Our Lives?

A: I hope I can do that; it's just a matter of making the economics work.

Q: Will this be in regular bookstores?

A: Probably not. I'm an indie publisher with razor-thin margins, and since the vast majority of my customers are online, it just doesn't make sense to end up with a few cents on the dollar per sale, which is what would happen if I were to get this distributed into bookstores. I've blogged extensively about how and why I publish the way that I do. If I can find the links to those posts, I'll add them here.

Q: What about Amazon? Can I get it at Amazon?

A: Sometimes Lulu sells books through Amazon. If this is one of the titles they choose, then you'll be able to get it there. If you can, I'll update this post. I think it ends up costing the same whether you get it from Amazon or Lulu, though.

Q: Why is shipping so expensive?

A: That's a Lulu question, not a me question.

Q: So why did you put it here?

A: Because it's frequently asked.

Q: I'm not in the US. Do I need to wait for a World edition?

A: No. One of the many cool things about using print on demand from Lulu is that the book will be printed in whatever country you place your order, which keeps jobs closer to home, limits delivery and shipping fees and time, and makes everyone happy. Yay!

Q: You didn't answer my question.

A: That's not a question, it's a statement. But go ahead and ask it in comments, and I'll do my best to answer it there.

So there you go. As always, thank you for your support. I hope you enjoy my Memories of the Future.  

Memories of the Futurecast: Episode Six

Holy crap! It's time for Memories of the Futurecast.

Memories of the Future, Volume One, covers the first 13 episodes of TNG, so each week, I'm choosing something from one episode, and performing an excerpt for you. It will mostly be from the synopses, which is where I think the real humor of the book lives, but from time to time, I may work in some things from the other parts.

Two important things:

1. This does not mean the book comes out in 13 weeks. It comes out much sooner than that. In fact, it is available right now! Woo!
2. These are not excerpted from an audiobook. These are recorded specifically for this podcast. I'm not sure if I'll do a full-length audiobook, yet, but I'm open to the idea.

Episode Notes:

• The Memories of the Futurecast works hard to earn its [EXPLICIT] tag. You have been warned.
• The theme song is Mister Fancy Pants, by my friend Jonathan Coulton. It is from his fantastic Thing A Week (my fingers autotyped "Thing A Geek" just now. Heh.) and is used under Creative Commons license.
• This week I read some of the synopsis from Where No One Has Gone Before, also known as "that one with the Traveller."
• This week's show weighs in at just over 18MB.
• This week's show is just over 19 minutes long.
• Garageband still refuses to let me embed artwork in the MP3. Feel free to grab the image from this post and use it, if you need it to go with all your glasses and your shoes, so you have them.
• Memories of the Futurecast doesn't have anything clever to add this week, it just hopes you enjoyed listening to it and will consider picking up the book.
• Yeah, that's right, you can buy Memories of the Future Volume One for just $19.87 RIGHT NOW! YAY!

Download Memories of the Futurecast episode six

Everybody walk the dinosaur. Well, except for you. You're not working out.

I have no idea what the title of this post has to do with the content of this post. In fact, I think there's no relation at all, other than the fact that I wrote them both. But when your brain compels you to quote Was (not Was), it's best to just do what it says, and slip in a Simpsons reference if you can manage it.

So. Moving on.

RinCon was awesome this weekend. The delves were a huge success, even though both parties managed to finish them, despite my best efforts to kill them all. I am absolutely going to run Child's Play Charity delves at future cons (and may even organize a special event here in Los Angeles at a local game shop, if enough people commit to playing) and those delves will all be of my own original creation, because running these two delves and listening to our D&D Podcast has made me want to write and run a campaign more than at any other time in my life. I know I keep going on and on about how easy it is to pick up and play 4e, but ... dude, it is so easy to pick up, play, and run 4e, the only reason I'm not playing every week is because I haven't had the time to do it. (Fun fact: we had players in both delves who were totally new to 4e – one of them hadn't even played since 2nd edition! – and it took all of about 5 minutes to get them into the swing of things. I know 4e has its detractors, but I just love it that this system is so easy for new players to pick up, whether they're PCs or DMs.)

I had an incredible time playing a lot of new games, as well as many of my old favorites. I especially enjoyed an indie game called Castle Panic , and an unreleased game from SJ Games that I wish I could tell you all about. I also picked up a storytelling game called A Penny For My Thoughts that I think was the sleeper hit of the convention. The Rock Band party was also a lot of fun, and some of you may be interested to know that James Ernest is an absolute beast on the drums.

A full con report, including some various thoughts I had about gaming at cons and why they are such an important part of our community is forthcoming, probably as this month's Geek in Review column.

Now, on to business:

My episode of The Big Bang Theory airs next Monday, October 19, on CBS. Yes, I'm excited enough about this to use the silly bold letters in my blog. Yes, this also means that I won't get to watch it live because I'll be performing at w00tstock San Francisco while it airs, but it also means that those of you who wanted to see w00tstock San Francisco on Monday but could only get tickets for Tuesday can still get your USRDA of Wil Wheaton sightings (snort) without ever leaving the comfort of your own home. Because, um, that sounds funny in my head.

SPOILER ALERT! Info about my episode of The Big Bang Theory follows:

The ‘Star Trek: TNG’ alum is guesting next week as a nastier version of himself. And as it turns out, this Wil Wheaton has a longstanding rivalry with Sheldon. How did this geektastic casting come to be? Says Kunal Nayyar (Raj), “The writers were discussing, ‘Who would be a good villain for Sheldon?’ just as Wil Wheaton was writing into them, saying how much he loves the show.” 

(via)

Okay, the final bit of business before I hit publish and go to work on the Memories of the Future release post and a few related bits: the project I've been working on that I wasn't sure if I could talk about, has been revealed. I'm voicing Bill Willingham's Peter & Max: A Fables Novel. It's been a delight to spend five hours a day exploring Bill's world and brining his characters to life, and we're going to have something very special when the whole project is completed.

Wil Wheaton's 2009 Dwarven Dungeon Delve of Doom! Benefitting the Child's Play Charity

I'm about to head out to RinCon, and before I left, I wanted to make sure I let everyone attending know that I'm doing what I think will be a pretty awesome fundraiser for Child's Play while I'm there.

First, some history: Way back in the olden days, when 8 bits were enough to blow your mind on a 13-inch television and digital watches were a pretty neat idea, the concept of the Dungeon Delve was born. It's pretty straightforward: a group of players and a Dungeon Master sit down together, and the players have 45 minutes or so to make it through the end of a short dungeon, while the Dungeon Master does his best to kill them. The delve ends when the players defeat the final boss (or solve the final puzzle, or something like that), the time limit is reached, or the players all die horrible but noble and heroic deaths.

It's different from the collaborative storytelling experience that we experience in my regular D&D games, but it's still a hell of a lot of fun, and the time limit makes it perfect for running at conventions.

So, with that bit of historical context in your heads, allow me to announce ...

Wil Wheaton's 2009 Dwarven Dungeon Delve of Doom! Benefitting the Child's Play Charity.

I'm going to run two delves; one on Friday at 6pm and one on Sunday at 12pm. There are five spots open for each delve, and they'll be available on a first come, first served basis starting on Friday when the con opens. 

Because I'm doing this to benefit the Child's Play Charity, I'm asking for a $50 donation to get into the game. For that donation, you get:

• A "very special, very awesome" gift bag from my friends at Wizards of the Coast. I don't want to ruin the surprise, but I talked to my friend there yesterday, and OMG is it going to be awesome. And special. But mostly awesome. 
• Your very own set of dice to take home with you, engraved for the occasion, and provided by the good people at Gamestation dot Net.
• Your old pal, Wil Wheaton, as your Dungeon Master.
• You'll also be supporting an absolutely wonderful and worthy charitable organization.

We'll provide the characters, the minis, the dice (though you are of course welcome to use your own) and the dungeon. All you have to bring is your imagination and a donation to Child's Play.

To get into the game, all you have to do is sign up at the main registration desk before the available slots are filled. Even if you've never played D&D before, you can still have a lot of fun, in a relaxed and non-serious environment, with players and a DM who will certainly help you understand what's going on.

I'm pretty sure these spots will fill up very fast, but even if you can't get into the game, there will be space to come and watch us, if you're interested in that sort of thing.

an open letter to the guy who put just a geek the audiobook on his website for people to steal

Hi there, guy-who-I-won't-link-to-for-obvious-reasons,

I'm Wil Wheaton. I wrote Just A Geek, and I created the audiobook you're helping people steal. You may not know this, but I 'm just one guy, without a publisher, so when you help people steal this copy of Just A Geek by making it available for download, you're basically stealing directly from me. You're not stealing from some big publisher with deep pockets who is trying to rip you off with overpriced stuff; you are stealing directly from me, an indie artist and publisher who counts on every sale to make a living. I have to tell you, guy-who-I-won't-link-to-for-obvious-reasons, what you're doing sucks. It sucks a lot.

I worked hard on this audiobook. I invested almost 50 hours into the production, spread out over several weeks. I priced it under the average market price for audiobooks of its length, and I deliberately did not put DRM on it, because I don't believe in treating my customers like they are criminals. I mean, let's face it, guy-who-I-won't-link-to-for-obvious-reasons, DRM only punishes honest customers, because people like you, who steal from people like me, always find a way around it.

I notice that you have a nice big banner at the top of your webpage, imploring the people who are visiting your site to click on the ads you've put there, so you can keep the site running. I also see that you have a link for people to donate money to you. That's, um, that's rather ironic, isn't it? You are stealing from me and other authors, and then asking your fellow thieves to click on ads and give you donations, so you can make money from our work. Maybe it's just me, but that strikes me as what we would call "a real dick move."

I realize that I can't stop you from doing what you're doing. Even if I went through the hassle of filing DMCA takedown notices and filing complaints with the various authorities who handle this sort of thing, you'd just open up a new site somewhere else, and start all over again. But listen, guy-who-I-won't-link-to-for-obvious-reasons, maybe you don't realize that you're actually taking money right out of my pocket, and maybe you don't realize that what you're doing is no different than walking into a store, putting an audiobook under your jacket, and walking out with it. You're stealing from me, guy-who-I-won't-link-to-for-obvious-reasons, and I hope you'll read this, and stop.

I'd really appreciate it if you'd take these links down, and replace them with links to the place where people can purchase it from me, support my work, and ensure that I continue to release audiobooks without DRM or other annoying restrictions.

Thanks for listening,

Wil Wheaton