WWdN: In Exile

There's a new episode of Radio Free Burrito

These puppies want you to listen to Radio Free Burrito.

So from time to time, I make this stupid podcast called Radio Free Burrito.

It's this thing that I do because it's creative and entertaining to me, and is an easy way for me to amuse myself and hopefully share some interesting things with people. At the same time, though, it feels like this thing I do that like 100 people in the world listen to, which is kind of weird.

Yesterday, I made a new episode. I think it doesn't totally suck (though it is pretty rambling at points and features some profoundly offensive stuff when I'm demo-ing Cards Against Humanity live), so I'm telling the world that Radio Free Burrito Episode Thirty-Three exists.

I'm on a boat: Radio Free Burrito

I’m on JoCoCruiseCrazy 2, and I’m taking an Internet vacation until I get home. So every day while I’m gone, something from my archives will post here automatically, for your entertainment. I had a lot of fun picking these different things out, and I hope you enjoy them again, or for the first time.

I miss doing Radio Free Burrito as much as the people who ask me every day if I'll do another one. Reading all the old entries that I've published this week has inspired me to write more, so maybe linking to some of my favorite RFBs will inspire me to record some new ones.

Radio Free Burrito

Hi there. I'm Wil Wheaton, and I'm from the Internet.

I grew up in Los Angeles, listening to great broadcasters like Jim Ladd, Richard Blade, and Doctor Demento. I listened to radio stations like KLOS, KROQ, and KMET, all during their glory days from the late 70s until the late 80s. I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't love music, and didn't want to be on the radio.

I got a little sidetracked by an acting career, but even when I was at the height of my acting success, my dream of broadcasting never entirely went away. I was never able to make it into actual radio, but when the internet made podcasting possible, I seized the opportunity to play music, tell stories, and finally satisfy my delusions of DJ grandeur.

Radio Free Burrito is an infrequently-updated podcast, mostly focused on podsafe or creative-commons-licensed music. The first 13 posts here at the RFB homepage are considered the archives, and they cover a time period from 2005-2008. Comments are closed on all the archive posts, but as new episodes of RFB are added, those comments will be open.

A note to the listener: these podcasts are old, and the e-mail addresses I mention in them were sent to the land of wind and ghosts a long time ago. You can send all the mail you want to them, but it's just going to bounce.

Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you enjoy the Burrito.

Episode 26

Holy Crap, it's time for a new episode of Radio Free Burrito!

At long last, the planets align, I have time and ideas, and the GDMF construction next door is quiet.

Show Notes:

 

• The logo was designed by WWdN:iX reader Marc, who asked that I not link to his "in progress" website. Thanks, Marc!
• Radio Free Burrito doesn't work as hard to earn its [EXPLICIT] tag as Memories of the Futurecastdoes, but it still manages to upset mom and get Twitter breakup messages from sensitive people. You have been warned.
• This week's theme music is from The Legend of Zelda, one of my favorite video games of all time.
• On today's show, I read two stories from The Happiest Days of Our Lives, currently available from Subterranean Press as a special edition.
• There is also an audio version of The Happiest Days of Our Lives, if you'd like to hear me read even more of it to you.
• Movin' Right Along was performed by 15-16 Puzzle. If you have some time to check out hismusical archives, I believe you will find it worth your while.
• I decided that this episode was brought to you by coffee ... specifically the amazing cup of Sumatra that I made using beans that were roasted by my friend Aric. He's @WayOfCoffee on Twitter, and you can even order your own amazing beans from him at FremontCoffee.net. Did I mention that they're amazing? They totally are.
• I just realized that I have friends who do awesome things, and I should make them the unofficial "sponsors" of RFB each week, so RFB listeners can discover nifty things. I hope I remember to do that next week.
• When I read Close Your Eyes and Then It's Past, I played music from Robert Rich as a bed. He has a ton of albums at Magnatune.com; I used music from Calling Down The Sky today.
• Actually, well over 90% of listeners said the audio levels were messed up, and that the music, which I'd hoped would be a nice background bed, was actually way too loud and distracted from my reading. Since this podcast is all about me, I remastered the episode and removed the music. 
• Of course, if you didn't get this episode right when it was released yesterday, you probably won't notice the difference. Ahhhh ... BLISSS!
• This episode is about 69.5MB. Yikes.
• This episode is about 48 minutes long.
• I am aware that the tags are screwed up and the feed doesn't validate, so unless you're grabbing RFB from iTunes or getting it directly here, it's a giant hassle to get it. I am aware of this problem, but it's a gigantic pain in the ass for me to correct it, given the tools I have available to me. I'm sorry for the inconvenience, and I'm very annoyed by it, but I can make a podcast, or I can be a bug-squashing code monkey. I can't do both, and I quite frankly prefer making the podcast. Listener Dave K. built a workaround that you can learn all about here. Thanks, Dave!
• Again, no embedded artwork. This distresses me, but it's Apple's fault, not mine, and it's too much of a pain in the ass to get it done. Hopefully, they'll fix the bug REALLY SOON.
• This is the end of the notes. 

Ready? Then put down your kazoo, step away from the punch bowl, and 

Download Radio Free Burrito Episode 26!

Episode 20

Holy Crap, it's time for a new episode of Radio Free Burrito!

I must say, I'm pretty proud of my ability to get this one out on time. If I keep this up, I may have to remove the phrase "infrequently updated" from the show's description.

Show Notes:

• The logo was designed by WWdN:iX reader Marc, who asked that I not link to his "in progress" website. Thanks, Marc!
• Radio Free Burrito doesn't work as hard to earn its [EXPLICIT] tag as Memories of the Futurecastdoes, but it still manages to upset mom and get Twitter breakup messages from sensitive people. You have been warned.
• This week's theme music is Super Bon Bon by the legendary Soul Coughing, fronted by the equally-legendary Mike Doughty.
• On today's show, I read a story from the forthcoming special edition of The Happiest Days of our Lives, called Green Grass and High Tides Forever (and ever and ever and
• If you liked that story, you may want to check out the audio version of The Happiest Days of our Lives.
• Green Grass And High Tides can be yours for 99 cents at Amazon. That's, like, 10 cents a minute, which would have been a big deal in long distance pricing back when digital watches were a pretty neat idea.
• You know what's cheaper than building a time machine and going back to 1977 to watch Wizards? Yep. Watching it on DVD right here in the future.
• I don't know why Thundarr The Barbarian isn't out in a deluxe Criterion edition, which it obviously deserves. We will just have to console ourselves with the Dungeons & Dragons animated series.
• The Dark Tower at Boardgame Geek.
• The Dark Tower online.
• The Dark Tower commercial featuring ORSON FUCKING WELLES.
• Flash version of The Dark Tower.
• This link that has nothing at all to do with The Dark Tower.
• This episode is just over 27 minutes long.
• This episode is about 26MB.
• This episode doesn't have artwork embedded, because I still can't figure out how to get it into the goddamn file without exporting as .m4a and converting to .mp3, doubling the filesize in the process. I mean, I could probably figure it out if I spent a lot of time working on it, but that's not nearly as fun as just producing the show.
• This is the end of the notes. 

Ready? Then put on your awesome dragon shirt and

 Download Radio Free Burrito Episode 20

And finally, the RFB Mixtape, Volume One

As long as I can remember, my friends and I made mix tapes for each other. We'd grab stuff off the radio, record each other talking, tape tracks from records, and even grab stuff off the television.

A few minutes on the Internets revealed that I was not unique at all in this activity, which is as unsurprising as it is totally awesome.

I found myself in an empty house this weekend, and I became inspired by a midnight viewing of Videodrome to audio hijack some dialog from the film, drop in some of the weird audio I've scraped off the tubes in the last couple of months, and put it all together just like I did with those magnetic tapes so many years ago.

The audio levels are not as equalized as I'd like, but that's the way it was back then, too, so try to think of it as part of the charm, instead of an annoying technical failing on my part.

There aren't any show notes for this one, because we didn't bother to make show notes back in the old days. There are some titles embedded in the file, though, so you can imagine that they're scrawled on the TDK cardboard insert in blue Bic pen.

This was fun as hell to make, and I hope you like it. If you can spare a mirror, I'd be most grateful, because the file is quite large to preserve the audio quality.

• Mirror  (Thanks, herdivineshadow!)
• Mirror via MoronLife.com (Thanks, Clay!)
• Mirror on S3 (Thanks, Keith!)
• Mirror at Effluxity (Thanks, John!)

Torrents, from Brian May:

High (orig):http://athena.unearthed.org/torrents/radio_free_burritos_mix_tape_volume_one.mp3.torrent

Low (mono, VBR bit rate range 0-24, 5.6 megs):http://athena.unearthed.org/torrents/radio_free_burritos_mix_tape_volume_one-low.mp3.torrent

Download radio_free_burritos_mix_tape_volume_one.mp3

TRT: 32:30
Filesize: 29.6 MB (Yep, it's all music, so it's huge, even encoded at 128).

(Image via Make)

 

knock me your lobes

I have begun a new project, which until I come up with a better name is called Project Do Something Creative Every Day For The Rest Of The Year (Yes, This Includes Holidays).

The first entry in PDSCEDFTROTY (YTIH) is a new episode of my neglected and long-overdue-for-updating podcast, Radio Free Burrito.

On this RFB, I deliver a bunch of weird audio collected from the internets, a whole lot of thank yous, and a reading from the special edition of The Happiest Days of Our Lives.

I don't usually promote RFB on my blog, but I had a lot of fun putting this episode together, so there you go.

Speaking of things I don't promote enough, did you know I partnered with Jinx to make some spiffy T-shirts? The costume department at Big Bang Theory even chose one of them for Evil Wil Wheaton to wear in The 21-second Excitation. I thought it was a pretty clever bit of meta meta. As it happens, that shirt is my favorite of all the shirts we did together, so hooray for that, too.

 

 

echoes beyond the infinite

I found this video while putting together the show notes for today's Radio Free Burrito (wherein I perform yesterday's story for you, with music and puppets*) as I said on Twitter, it's not the same as syncing it up with a record and the laserdisc, but it's still pretty awesome if you have about 24 minutes to spend however you want.

Anyway, I'm very proud of today's RFB, and just wanted an excuse to mention it here, because not very many people seem to be hearing it over there.

So now you know, and can tell your friends! Yay!

*please note that RFB is audio-only, so you'll have to use your imagination to properly enjoy the puppet portion of the production.

knock me your lobes

Did I mention that Radio Free Burrito finally grew up and moved into its own URL at Radio Free Burrito dot Com?

You can get all 13 of the old Radio Free Burritos (which I've christened "the archives"), as well as two new shows (cleverly numbered 14 and 15) which were recently recorded by me, Wil Wheaton*.

My plan is to do a RFB every week in place of the Futurecast, until the Futurecast gets going again in a few months, but I'm not promising anything. Unless you want to bribe me with Burrito money, in which case I'll make it a top priority, with a giant warehouse and wooden crates and everything. No, seriously. I know a guy who can get me a giant warehouse for, like, cheap.

Yes, Virginia, there is an RSS feed for the Burrito, helpfully located at: feeds.feedburner.com/radiofreeburrito Yes, Virginia's shy roommate, you can subscribe to it in iTunes. No, Virginia's weird talking cat, I don't know if it's in the Zune Marketplace. Also, Virginia? I invited you over for Rock Band, and it's kind of a dick move that you brought your whole fuckin' apartment with you. And what's with all the questions? JEEZE!

Of course, if I've already mentioned this but the information fell victim to the history eraser button in my brain, you have my apologies.

*That's a callback I bet 99% of you won't get, so allow me to explain: a million years ago, I did a Classic Television Talk Show - I'm not sure why I capitalized that title but it feels right - at the ACME Comedy Theater. It was hosted by J. Keith vanStraaten, and I played the role of Ed McMahon (or Andy Richter, as the case may be.)

When I started the show, we did a reoccurring bit where I wore this shit-eating grin, and talked about "Me, Wil Wheaton." For example, "Yes, Keith, it was a delightful evening, particularly because all the people in attendance were graced by the presence of me, Wil Wheaton."

I think this is losing something in the translation, but now you know why I'm giggling right now. Which I guess I should have told you before, because then you would have been all, "Hey, Wil, why are you giggling when you say that?" And I could be all, "Well, that's a callback, so let me tell you about it.)

Memories of the Futurecast: Episode Nine

Holy crap! It's time for Memories of the Futurecast.

Memories of the Future, Volume One, covers the first 13 episodes of TNG, so each week, I'm choosing something from one episode, and performing an excerpt for you. It will mostly be from the synopses, which is where I think the real humor of the book lives, but from time to time, I may work in some things from the other parts.

Three important things:

1. This does not mean the book comes out in 13 weeks. It comes out much sooner than that. In fact, it is available right now! Woo!
2. These are not excerpted from an audiobook. These are recorded specifically for this podcast. I'm not sure if I'll do a full-length audiobook, yet, but I'm open to the idea.
3. Did I mention that you can get your very own copy of Memories of the Future, Volume One, right now, for $19.87, or as a $10 DRM-free PDF? Okay, just checking.

Episode Notes:

• The Memories of the Futurecast works hard to earn its [EXPLICIT] tag. You have been warned.
• Our theme music this week is Harvey Danger's Wine, Women and Song, from their third album Little by Little. HD has made the entire album available for download, for free, from their website. I think it's worth paying for, though, so toss some coins their way if you agree.
• This week's show features THE BATTLE (or, "What's that Rattle? It's a Ferengi exacting his blood revenge.")
• Memories of the Futurecast finally grew up and moved into its own apartment. From now on, you can find new episodes at MemoriesOfTheFuturecast.com. It probably won't work for a couple of days, but should be working by Wednesday at the latest. 
• Single! Turgid! Episode!
• Memories of the Futurecast has its own Podcast feed, too! For your convenience (and great justice) you can get your podcast fetcher-o-doodle and stick feeds.feedburner.com/futurecast into it.
• This is the last full episode that I'll post here at WWdN:iX, so subscribe or bookmark or tattoo the new URL if you don't want to miss a 
• Memories of the Futurecast takes the A train.
• Memories of the Futurecast is 12.4 MB this week.
• Memories of the Futurecast is 26 minutes long this week.
• Memories of the Futurecast wonders if anyone even reads the shownotes it works so hard to write.
• Memories of the Futurecast gets busy ... sometimes.

Okay enough notes! Let's get to business:

Download Memories of the Futurecast Episode Nine

Memories of the Futurecast: Episode Eight

Holy crap! It's time for Memories of the Futurecast.

Memories of the Future, Volume One, covers the first 13 episodes of TNG, so each week, I'm choosing something from one episode, and performing an excerpt for you. It will mostly be from the synopses, which is where I think the real humor of the book lives, but from time to time, I may work in some things from the other parts.

Three important things:

1. This does not mean the book comes out in 13 weeks. It comes out much sooner than that. In fact, it is available right now! Woo!
2. These are not excerpted from an audiobook. These are recorded specifically for this podcast. I'm not sure if I'll do a full-length audiobook, yet, but I'm open to the idea.
3. Did I mention that you can get your very own copy of Memories of the Future, Volume One, right now, for $19.87, or as a $10 DRM-free PDF? Okay, just checking.

Episode Notes:

• The Memories of the Futurecast works hard to earn its [EXPLICIT] tag. You have been warned.
• This week's theme music is Down on the River By The Sugarplant, from Mike Doughty.
• Mike Doughty is on Twitter, you know, and if you want to get his new record Sad Man Happy Man(OMG GET IT FERREALZ) you can find it at Amazon, among other places.
• This week, I dish out some JUSTICE, y'all. Don't listen to this one around the kids, unless you're ready to have The Talk with them, ifyaknowhatimean.
• Why, yes, I did toss up some new artwork this week. Thanks for noticing.
• As promised, here's a link that will direct you to a full, live performance.
• I don't think I said thank you enough in the podcast, so, just to be sure I was clear: Seriously, guys, thank you for your support with Memories of the Future.
• Memories of the Futurecast wants the Three Worf Moon Shirt.
• Memories of the Futurecast snores when it sleeps in the sun by the couch.
• Memories of the Futurecast wants you to add your own pictures to Wheaton's Books In The Wild at Flickr.
• Memories of the Futurecast puts the lotion on its skin.
• Memories of the Futurecast is 28.8 MB.
• Memories of the Futurecast starts on page 74. But, seriously, good luck following along.
• Memories of the Futurecast is 30 minutes long.

Ready?! Okay, then! Set your phasers to: Download Memories of the Futurecast episode eight

Buy your own copy of Memories of the Future, Volume One. It's just $19.87 for a print version, or $10 for the DRM-free PDF.

Memories of the Futurecast: Episode Seven

Holy crap! It's time for Memories of the Futurecast.

Memories of the Future, Volume One, covers the first 13 episodes of TNG, so each week, I'm choosing something from one episode, and performing an excerpt for you. It will mostly be from the synopses, which is where I think the real humor of the book lives, but from time to time, I may work in some things from the other parts.

Three important things:

1. This does not mean the book comes out in 13 weeks. It comes out much sooner than that. In fact, it is available right now! Woo!
2. These are not excerpted from an audiobook. These are recorded specifically for this podcast. I'm not sure if I'll do a full-length audiobook, yet, but I'm open to the idea.
3. Did I mention that you can get your very own copy of Memories of the Future, Volume One, right now, for $19.87, or as a $10 DRM-free PDF? Okay, just checking.

Episode Notes:

• The Memories of the Futurecast works hard to earn its [EXPLICIT] tag. You have been warned.
• This week's theme music is Shame of the Otaku (MP3 link, y'all changed the link to point at the song's lyrics page. Now iTunes subscribers should get the podcast), from MC Frontalot's sensational album Final Boss. It's used with permission, because Front is my BFF.
• I have a seriously smooth, chocolately voice at the beginning. Man, I wish I sounded like that all the time ... ladies.
• This week, I feature an excerpt from episode 7 of TNG, Lonely Among Us, which gives me an opportunity to make a whole lot of references to Parliament Funkadelic. Ohhhh yeah.
• Anne pointed out to me that I seem to have this horribly annoying verbal tic where I go, "and . . . um . . ." a whole lot. I was not aware of that, but now that I am, I am horrified, and vow to ensure that I don't do that in the future.
• Memories of the Futurecast is almost 24 minutes this week. Get comfortable.
• Memories of the Futurecast is 22.9 MB this week. Make room! Make room!
• Memories of the Futurecast has wicked topspin.
• Memories of the Futurecast wants you to go to w00tstock.
• Memories of the Futurecast has a vest made from real gorilla chest.

Download Memories of the Futurecast, episode seven

Buy your own copy of Memories of the Future, Volume One.

I'm saying this for the last time: HIS. NAME. IS. AEOFEL!

I've been pointing out new episodes of the D&D/Penny Arcade/PvP/Me podcast on Twitter, but since the third series draws to a close today, I thought I'd catch up, and then share some thoughts on the final episode.

My last post took us up to episode three, so...

Episode Four:

In this episode, the battle continues in full against Thazin Stormbellow, guardian of the Ambershard mausoleum. That sleeping boar? No longer sleeping…

Episode Five:

In this episode, the members of Acquisitions Incorporated learn about the death and dying rules… but does it concern them, the boar, or the dwarf? They also learn that intimidating a bloodied enemy may force that enemy to surrender… may. And finally, they learn the might of a solo monster—essentially, four monsters wrapped in one.

Episode Six:

Acquisitions Incorporated prepares for their ultimate fight against Leer of the Ambershard Dwarves. As they approach the upper chambers, will they simply bust in and take the guards out? Or quietly bar the other doors, and take a sneakier approach?

Episode Seven:

What's left, but for Aeofel to throw his dagger at the fleeing Leer… and he's thankful he did, despite missing. For the dagger hangs in midair, as if suspended in something… unseen.

Episode Eight:

"At least you're not in the acid pit…."

All caught up? If you're ready, follow me past the jump, where it's SPOILER-TASTIC!

Memories of the Futurecast: Episode Six

Holy crap! It's time for Memories of the Futurecast.

Memories of the Future, Volume One, covers the first 13 episodes of TNG, so each week, I'm choosing something from one episode, and performing an excerpt for you. It will mostly be from the synopses, which is where I think the real humor of the book lives, but from time to time, I may work in some things from the other parts.

Two important things:

1. This does not mean the book comes out in 13 weeks. It comes out much sooner than that. In fact, it is available right now! Woo!
2. These are not excerpted from an audiobook. These are recorded specifically for this podcast. I'm not sure if I'll do a full-length audiobook, yet, but I'm open to the idea.

Episode Notes:

• The Memories of the Futurecast works hard to earn its [EXPLICIT] tag. You have been warned.
• The theme song is Mister Fancy Pants, by my friend Jonathan Coulton. It is from his fantastic Thing A Week (my fingers autotyped "Thing A Geek" just now. Heh.) and is used under Creative Commons license.
• This week I read some of the synopsis from Where No One Has Gone Before, also known as "that one with the Traveller."
• This week's show weighs in at just over 18MB.
• This week's show is just over 19 minutes long.
• Garageband still refuses to let me embed artwork in the MP3. Feel free to grab the image from this post and use it, if you need it to go with all your glasses and your shoes, so you have them.
• Memories of the Futurecast doesn't have anything clever to add this week, it just hopes you enjoyed listening to it and will consider picking up the book.
• Yeah, that's right, you can buy Memories of the Future Volume One for just $19.87 RIGHT NOW! YAY!

Download Memories of the Futurecast episode six